Nitro-Glycerin - Monday Nitro recap for December 9, 1996

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper starts tonight's show, wearing a Carolina Panthers shirt one day after the Panthers made their way into the NFL playoffs. Piper says it's nice to be home, as he used to live as the Tuskegee Days Inn on Highway 77 "before it was pretty" and has a rap sheet longer than Highway 77 itself, yet the people still cheer for him. He hops around one on one leg to mock The New World Order for attacking his leg the last time they met. He says he has to beat "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan at Starrcade as he has six kids to feed, and says "being a gimp" "didn't stop Bo Jackson." He says the most shameful thing he's ever done - and won't do again - is box Mr. T in a boxing match and refuse to take a dive for him. He says he will be damned if he takes a dive for anybody ever again. He says he has nothing against the nWo and is not with WCW or the nWo and that he is just "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. He makes fun of the nWo for wearing leather, drinking Don Perignon and not having one woman in sight. He says Hogan is Hogan and that he has been in the lead as well as a man to contend with for years. He knows he's in the building, and says "Let's just have it now." He says he's coming in as "the Evander Holyfield of the fight," and tells them all to come out one by one as what doesn't kill him makes him stronger and he's feeling pretty powerful right now.

Ted DiBiase shows up during Mike Enos vs. Michael Wallstreet, and DiBiase has a contract in his hand. This distracts Mike Enos, who thinks the contract is for him, and this allows Wallstreet to get the win. Wallstreet then takes the contract from his hand, and DiBiase leaves with Wallstreet following.

Hugh Morrus beats The Renegade.

The Taskmaster shows up and confronts Tony Schiavone for not showing the earlier replay of Woman and "The Crippler" Chris Benoit's video message to him before showing it to the viewing public. Schiavone says he's just doing his job, but The Taskmaster calls him "a pawn" and accuses him of showing the footage just to drive up ratings. He says he has a personal life, and tells him that the next time he has something to show, as he has someone to take care of as that someone else is affected by the footage.

We see a video package of Sting.

"Mean " Gene Okerlund interviews Kevin Greene of the hometown Carolina Panthers. He still considers Steve "Mongo" McMichael a foe, and plans to come after him during the off-season after turning on him to join The Four Horsemen. He said that the Carolina Panthers would surprise people this year, and they did. He thinks The New World Order is crap, and that he'll rename "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan "Chokin' Hogan" if he ever gets a shot at him as Hogan will be choking when he has Kevin Greene's fist halfway down his throat.

Dean Malenko retains the WCW Cruiserweight Championship against Jimmy Graffiti after reversing a vertical suplex into a roll-up. "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Sonny Onoo, who was at ringside during the match, after the match. We find out that Sonny Onoo's Japanese accent is faked, and that he uses it to get free housing, free education and even free money. He says that The Ultimate Dragon will beat Dean Malenko for the Cruiserweight title. He then waves a tiny American flag at the end of the interview.

This Saturday on WCW Saturday Night: "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan! The Renegade! Joe Gomez! Jeff Jarrett! Diamond Dallas Page! Ice Train! Dean Malenko! Hugh Morrus vs "Lord" Steven Regal for the WCW World Television Championship!

The Outsiders (Kevin Nash and Scott Hall) are spotted at the entrance ramp during The Nasty Boys (Jerry Sags and Brian Knobbs) vs. The Faces of Fear (Meng and The Barbarian).

The Faces of Fear (Meng and The Barbarian) beat The Nasty Boys (Jerry Sags and Brian Knobbs) after Barbarian smacks Knobbs with Jimmy Hart's megaphone after unchecked interference from Jimmy Hart as the referee is distracted.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. He asks the world to tune in as one of his closest friends in wrestling is here tonight, and he wants to ask "Rowdy" Roddy Piper to come out to a great Charlotte, North Carolina welcome. Piper shows up, and Flair calls Piper a true icon in professional wrestling. He talks about when he and Piper travelled together in 1981, before he became famous and before he became known as "Hot Rod." Flair tells Piper that he has taken it up on himself to take on "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan, whom he says "sucks," and tells Piper that he fumbled the ball as a team player for WCW and walked away after he was beat, and says that he now regrets it. He tells Piper he's older than him, and while everybody gets old, only he and Piper can get great. He wants Piper to know that whatever he needs is his at Starrcade as he wants to see Piper kick Hogan's ass. Piper says that this is "his last shot at makin' a go," and while he appreciates it, he wants to handle this on his own as he won't be able to live with himself if he doesn't.

Pyrotechnics signal the start of the second hour.

We see pre-recorded comments from Chris Jericho, who says WCW's history will prevail. He showed everyone what Nick Patrick was made of, but he's not finished with him, and when the time is right, he's going to get revenge on him some more.

Chris Jericho beats Bobby Eaton.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews The Steiner Brothers (Rick and Scott Steiner). Rick says he doesn't where Sting is anymore, and wonders what Sting is going to do next.

We see a video package of Lex Luger.

We see pre-recorded comments from The Taskmaster, who says it's been a long cold night and that next week, he and "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson are going to heat up his life, as there is nothing left for him but Anderson.

"The Enforcer" Arn Anderson beats Sgt. Craig "Pitbull" Pittman after Debra McMichael distracts the ref and Steve "Mongo" McMichael attacks Pittman with the Halliburton briefcase. "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Anderson, Debra and Mongo after the match. Anderson knows "The Crippler" Chris Benoit is in Germany, but doesn't know where Woman is. Debra tells Anderson he warned him about her, and says that she is wearing her Mrs. Illinois crown and banner to prove he's the most beautiful and most intelligent, and that she's dealt with other women's crap her entire life, and that makes her "the strongest Horseman." Mongo reminds Anderson he beat one of the strongest wrestlers in the world as of late. Anderson tells Benoit to come home, and tells Woman he's got a bone to pick with her.

Lee Marshall reports from Pensacola, Florida - the site of next week's Nitro - for the 1-800-COLLECT Road Report.

Diamond Dallas Page beats Jeff Jarrett to continue to the finals of the United States Heavyweight Championship tournament after Kevin Nash distracts the ref and Scott Hall hits Jarrett with the Outsider's Edge. "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Page after the match, and Page says he doesn't need Hall and Nash as he has the Diamond Cutter. He never saw Hall and Nash until they were leaving, and asks where they were three years ago, when he was busting his chops in WCW and named "Most Improved Wrestler" by Pro Wrestling Illustrated. He compares the situation between him and The Outsiders (Hall and Nash) to a girl he may have picked up at a nightclub who has one unbelievable time when all of a sudden she wants to "have a membership." He tells Nash and Hall to leave him alone, as he stands alone. As for the United States title, nobody wants it more than him.

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper suddenly shows up before Rick Steiner vs. Scott "Flash" Norton can take place, and takes a steel chair into the ring with him. He sits in the chair and calls out "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan, saying he wants to fight him right now. Eric Bischoff shows up instead of Hogan, and Piper tells him to leave as he is waiting for Hogan. Bischoff tells Piper that The New World Order has left the building, and that he is his friend as he has kept him from entering WCW to protect him from himself. He admits he has seen Piper's movies, but says Piper is no Hogan. He says that the arena lights will be the last thing he'll remember seeing at Starrcade as Hogan will crush him like a grape. He then says "We'll see you on the 29th...gimp" before mocking Piper's bad leg on the way out. Piper punches Bischoff in the back of the head and pins him under his foot, and when the nWo come out, he holds them at bay with the steel chair. Kevin Greene shows up and stands with Piper in the ring at the end of the show, and the nWo gets in the ring just as the show fades to black.

After the show ends, Kevin Greene, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, Steve "Mongo" McMichael and "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson fight off The New World Order. Eric Bischoff retreats along with the rest of the nWo.

Nitro-Glycerin - Monday Nitro recap for August 5, 1996

Scott Norton, Big Bubba and The Faces of Fear (Meng and The Barbarian) show up to protect the WCW wrestlers. (In case of interference during matches, they allow matters to take their course as they are only here to keep Hall, Nash and Hulk Hogan out.) Also, the four empty chairs in the front row are seen again.

Harlem Heat (Booker T and Stevie Ray) retain the WCW World Tag Team Championships against The Rock 'n Roll Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) after the distraction from both Sister Sherri and Col. Robert Parker.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews The Nasty Boys (Jerry Sags and Brian Knobbs). Knobbs says just because Hogan is a friend of theirs, they're getting a lot of flak, but he says that Hulk Hogan does what he wants to do and The Nasty Boys do want they want to do. Sting and Lex Luger show up wanting to see where they stand, and The Nasty Boys say they are standing where they've always stood: right here in Nastyville. Sags tells them it's none of their business, but Luger says they're making it their business tonight before he and Sting leave. Knobbs continues to stay neutral on behalf of the team, saying that they don't condone what Hogan did, but they don't see anything wrong with it either.

Malia Hosaka beats Madusa. During the match, a black limousine shows up in front of Disney-MGM Studios.

This Saturday on WCW Saturday Night as part of a two-hour pre-show before Hog Wild, live from Sturgis, South Dakota: John Tenta vs. Big Bubba! "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson vs. Hugh Morrus! A one-on-one interview with "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair!

"Das Wunderkind" Alex Wright beats "The Crippler" Chris Benoit by count-out thanks to the interference of Dean Malenko. During the match, Jimmy Hart tells Woman to drop what she's doing with Chris Benoit and Miss Elizabeth, saying Benoit will never win her a championship, and come with him to the back because there's somebody she's driving crazy back there: The Taskmaster. Suddenly, Dean Malenko shows up and tries to take Woman to the back, getting the attention of Chris Benoit, who fights him outside of the ring and takes the brawl to the back as he loses by count-out.

"Macho Man" Randy Savage beats "Lord" Steven Regal. Before the pyrotechnics signalling the start of the second hour, it is reported that Eric Bischoff and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan have not made it into the building. Sting and Lex Luger show up and sit in the empty chairs in the front row, and stand up briefly when Savage sends Regal into them. Sting and Lex Luger leave the arena after the match and head to the limousine, complete with camera crew, but only find a bouquet of flowers with a black ribbon with silver writing say "Condolences on the Death of WCW." "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Savage after the match, not knowing what to make of the fact that he takes on the winner of the World Heavyweight title match from Hog Wild to make up for the fact that he has been barred from the event. Savage believes The Giant will get a bigger piece of Hulk Hogan than Hogan will think, and if The Giant leaves a piece for him, he'll finish the job. Sting and Lex Luger show Okerlund and Savage the bouquet, and Savage says that this is their style: always cheap shots and never face-to-face. After Sting says that WCW is alive and well, Randy Savage kicks the bouquet into the stands.

The Booty Man beats "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair by disqualification after interference from "The Crippler" Chris Benoit and Steve "Mongo" McMichaels. Before the match, the rest of The Four Horsemen ("The Enforcer" Arn Anderson, Steve "Mongo" McMichael, "The Crippler" Chris Benoit) guard the entryway to protect "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. During the next match, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan shows up and explains his actions from last week, and says he has shown up now because Big Bubba, Scott "Flash" Norton" and The Faces of Fear (Meng and The Barbarian) are providing security and is now looking for Eric Bischoff and assuming the worst has happened to him. Heenan then leaves again as Benoit and Mongo attack The Booty Man as Flair has him in the Figure Four Leg Lock. "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson joins in and attacks him with the steel chair before "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews The Horsemen. Anderson says intense pain is a wonderful thing as one's life flashes before their eyes and the ones important to them become crystal clear as they learn the meaning of life. When he saw the rest of THe Four Horsemen in the ambulance, he realized they were a family brought together not by philosophy but by necessity, and says that when the New World Order is put into place, it signals the beginning of the end of time. WCW is the Horsemen's world, and it is where they live and breathe. If The Outsiders want to take a baseball to one of them, they should finish the job, and if they want to send one of theirs to the hospital, The Horsemen will send one from the New World Order to the morgue. "The Crippler" Chris Benoit says everyone saw a fury of hatred, anger and vengeance unleashed just when he was about to break down. Mongo tells The New World Order to get it together and watch their bags, as he can swing some metal himself. Ric Flair then attacks The Booty Man again to send a message to Hulk Hogan, then says if Hogan wants their attention, he's gotten it, and he crossed a line for attacking Anderson like he did.

We look back at the attack from The Outsiders (Hall and Nash) from last week.

The New World Order (Hall, Nash, Hulk Hogan) make another paid announcement where they make fun of Sting and Lex Luger as well as how they sneak-attacked Luger and attacked people in the back last week. Hulk says he will take the World title from The Giant and make it the nWo World Heavyweight Championship one day before his birthday. Scott Hall says "it's only business." They then focus from taking over to extermination. The tape is suddenly stopped thanks to Lex Luger and Sting being in the back. A man in the back tells Hall and Nash that master control was forced to stopped the tape, and Sting wonders if director Craig Leathers is part of the New World Order. Sting then says he has "pot pie and Mountain Dew in the trailer," a reference to Nash saying the same thing two weeks ago when he and Nash were escorted out of the master control room.

The Giant beats Sgt. Craig "Pitbull" Pittman. The Giant almost attacks "Pitbull" again after the match when Theodore Long gets in the ring and tells him to stop, but Long ends up getting choke slammed instead. "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Jimmy Hart and The Giant, and Hart tells Hulk Hogan that he was the only one who told him the truth, and as he speaks, the black limousine returns to Disney MGM Studios. Hart tells Hogan that The Giant will be ready for him. The Giant says he has sent a message to the world. He says is not here to be a nice guy or a role model, and that he is only here to be World champion. He has no sympathy for anybody who crosses his path, and tells Hogan his fifteen minutes are up. He dares Hogan to show up at Hog Wild if he has any guts, and he'll show them to him.

The Steiner Brothers show up to protect both the team of Sting and Lex Luger and The Nasty Boys (Jerry Sags and Brian Knobbs) during the next match.

Sting and Lex Luger beats The Nasty Boys (Jerry Sags and Brian Knobbs) after a Scorpion Deathlock to Sags and assistance from Rick Steiner outside of the ring.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Sting and Lex Luger. After some very young Sting fans pose for the crowd, Sting and Lex Luger ask about the limousine outside of the arena, and Sting asks if The Outsiders (Hall and Nash) will be inside the limo, and considers checking it out on the one chance that they are inside. Okerlund asks if this is a rib, and Sting says this is not a rib. Okerlund and a cameraman follow Sting and Lex Luger, as do the wrestlers who have been acting as security. When Sting looks inside, someone tosses a bag with a Turner logo on it at Sting. (After the show, Sting opens it up and finds a note from the New World Order with the following written on it: "Rey Was Right, There Are Four Guys...Or Are There Five? See Ya In Sturgis!" Sting and Luger are not impressed with the presentation of the note.)

Nitro-Glycerin - Monday Nitro recap for March 18, 1996

The show begins with The Giant beating up Loch Ness with Jimmy Hart directing traffic. Lex Luger, who is supposed to be facing Loch Ness, shows up, then poses and walks by, heading to the ring like nothing is happening, then the match starts. Loch Ness ends up losing to Lex Luger by count-out, and Luger retains the WCW World Television Championship. After the match, Lex Luger celebrates, saying he's on a roll.

Tony Schiavone interviews Hulk Hogan and "Macho Man" Randy Savage. Hogan says that he and Savage have the upper hand, and predicts that he and Savage will come out on top at Uncensored. Savage there's a thin line between love and hate, and says that tonight will be uncontrollable chaos. Hogan says that he and Savage will wreak havoc wherever they go, and doesn't care what he has to do to beat The Taskmaster and his allies. Savage then says it is the end for The Taskmaster.

The Steiner Brothers (Rick and Scott Steiner) beat The Public Enemy (Johnny Grunge and "Flyboy" Rocco Rock). Scott Steiner saves Rick Steiner from being put through a table by Rocco Rock near the end.

The Booty Man beats "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson when Woman goes after Kimberly shortly after she shows up. Arn Anderson tries to take advantage, but The Booty Man is still able to hit the high knee for the win.

This Saturday on WCW Saturday Night: The Road Warriors (Animal and Hawk) vs. Public Enemy (Johnny Grunge and "Flyboy" Rocco Rock)! Sting vs. "Earl" Robert Eaton! Lex Luger vs. Brad Armstrong! Eddie Guerrero vs. "Das Wunderkind" Alex Wright! "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair vs. Sgt. Craig "Pitbull" Pittman!

The Road warriors (Animal and Hawk) beat The Nasty Boys (Jerry Saggs and Brian Knobbs) after The Steiner Brothers (Rick and Scott Steiner) fight The Nasty Boys and Animal whacks Knobbs in the forehead with one of his arm pads from his entrance gear as the ref is distracted.

The Texas Tornado match between the team of Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage and the team of The Taskmaster and "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair ends after "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson and Flyin' Brian show up to attack Hogan and Savage. The Booty Man shows up to help out, but Anderson brings out Jimmy Hart and two amazingly large men. Hulk, Savage and The Booty Man retreat through the crowd. The Taskmaster says he has looked far and wide to find two men who could bring an end to Hulkamania, and both Jimmy Hart and Ric Flair say that Hogan and company will be begging for mercy. Anderson says these two men are merely one-upsmanship for Hogan "snaking Savage into the back door." The Taskmaster says his problem with The Four Horsemen is over, and all that's left is where a hospital bed can be found for Hogan and Savage, whom Flair says he'll send Miss Elizabeth over to the hospital to see them once they're put there.

Come As You Are (WWF Superstar) - Superstars recap for May 8, 1993

Before the next match, Irwin R. Schyster says two things are for certain: that the tax laws will always change and that the people will always find a way to cheat.

Money Inc. ("The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster) and Mr. Hughes beat The Nasty Boys (Jerry Sags and Brian Knobbs) and Kamala when Kamala cannot turn I.R.S. over for the pinfall and I.R.S. pins him with a schoolboy pin.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund advertises Monday Night Raw for Monday night, May 10th at the Manhattan Center in midtown Manhattan, New York. Advertised is a Lumberjack Match between "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan and Shawn Michaels for the WWF Intercontinental Championship. He also advertises a show at the Meadowlands Arena in East Rutherford, New Jersey on Saturday night, May 22nd at 8 PM - with $2 off for kids 12 and under - where "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Giant Gonzales will have a one-on-one match-up. Okerlund then interviews Harvey Wippleman and Giant Gonzales. Wippleman says Savage will do his best impression of a BB gun pellet when he gets in the ring with Gonzales, and that all the "ignorant Yankees" need to find their way to the Meadowlands Arena so they can really see "the real southern boy from Argentina" embarrass and humiliate "Macho Man" Randy Savage one final time. He then goes on to say that Savage is an ignorant Yankee himself just for signing the contract for the match. He also interviews Crush, who will face Doink that night. Crush says he has one big score to settle with Doink, where he took him around the ring and took him apart, and says that the second Doink was the only thing that saved him. He dares Doink to bring his double to the ring.

The Smoking Gunns (Billy and Bart Gunn) are coming soon to the WWF...

Yokozuna beats Sean Dakota. During the match, it is announced that Hulk Hogan is on the cover of WWF Magazine, and that "The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart is on the inside.

We see the King of the Ring Report. Mr. Fuji (with Yokozuna) says that last time, Yokozuna was not prepared after going twenty hard minutes with Bret "Hit Man" Hart, but now, Yokozuna is prepared for Hogan and he will become the WWF Champion again. Fuji says Hogan will pay. "The Narcissist" Lex Luger says that he finds it amazing that he had to qualify for the King of the Ring Tournament, and says that Bob Backlund had to pay the price for that. He says that he cannot wait to face the #1 seed, Bret "Hit Man" Hart, as he will write the final chapter and put an end to his career. It is then announced that "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan and Papa Shango will square off to see who qualifies for the tournament this week on Wrestling Challenge, while Typhoon and Bam Bam Bigelow will do the same next week on Raw. Next, Razor Ramon will face "El Matador" Tito Santana for a slot at the tournament.

Crush beats Steve Vega with the Cranium Crusher.

We hear from Luna Vachon, who says that she will haunt Sensational Sherri's very breath and be her shadow in the darkness, and soon, she will wipe her from this earth. Then, she will be the goddess of the squared circle. Sensational Sherri says Luna attacked her from behind at WrestleMania 9, and on top of that, she attacked her again in the emergency room. If Luna wants a piece of her, she can come and get it, as she invented mean and she will take her anytime, anywhere, one-on-one.

Razor Ramon beats "El Matador" Tito Santana after using Santana's momentum against him following a top rope cross body and grabbing the tights to qualify for the King of the Ring Tournament.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund re-advertises a show at the Meadowlands Arena in East Rutherford, New Jersey on Saturday night, May 22nd at 8 PM, with $2 off for kids 12 and under. Also on this card is The Mega Maniacs (Hulk Hogan and Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake) vs. Money Inc. ("The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster) with the WWF Tag Team Championships on the line and Sgt. Slaughter as the special guest referee. Okerlund then interviews Money Inc. DiBiase says that they have had the tag titles for a while, and nothing will change. As for Sgt. Slaughter, he smells a rat with him as special guest referee, and says that The Mega Maniacs got frustrated at WrestleMania 9 and now want a referee in their back pocket. We then go to Sgt. Slaughter, who says that what happened at WrestleMania 9 will not happen again, and he will take care of the situation this time around. I.R.S. complains about The Mega Maniacs taking and spending all their money, but Slaughter says he was there at WrestleMania 9 and saw what happened.

Raymond Rougeau interviews Harvey Wippleman and Giant Gonzales. Next week, Giant Gonzales will face Tatanka, and Wippleman is reminded that he has not seen the last of The Undertaker. Wippleman admits that The Undertaker has kept on coming back, but that is because of sheer stupidity and that The Undertaker does not have enough sense to realize that when he signed for one more match with Gonzales, it would be his final match, and when The Undertaker gets carried out again, he will not get up and he will be carried out to stay, once and for all. As far as Tatanka is concerned, he will be the next in a long line of opponents eliminated from the World Wrestling Federation by Giant Gonzales, as Tatanka will get in the ring for a King of the Ring tournament qualifying match only to be knocked out of the tournament and out of the WWF. Gonzales simply says "Goodbye, Indian."

Raw Deal - Raw recap for March 15, 1993

For once, Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett and "Macho Man" Randy Savage aren't on commentary. Instead, it's Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. An unknown guy who obviously isn't Vince McMahon does his best Vince impersonation before the show begins.

Razor Ramon beats Russ Greenberg.

Typhoon beats L.A. Gore.

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan doesn't even know how to start the interview with Giant Gonzales.

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan interviews Giant Gonzales and his manager, Harvey Whippleman. Whippleman was right about having a big surprise for the WWF, but he can't get an opponent who's willing to fight him...except the Undertaker, who stood up to him at Royal Rumble. Whippleman tells Undertaker to bring the biggest coffin he can find, as Undertaker and Paul Bearer will both be laying in it when Giant Gonzales destroys them. Speaking of Giant Gonzales, he has a giant surprise for Undertaker himself.

Bob Backlund gets a surprise win on Papa Shango.

It is announced that WrestleMania IX will be the world's largest toga party: the announcers, cameraman and even some people in the audience will all be wearing togas.

Money Inc. ("The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster) tells The Megamaniacs that they're running out of luck at Caesars Palace at WrestleMania 9.

Paul Bearer and The Undertaker plan to make Caesars Palace their personal graveyard at WrestleMania 9. Undertaker tells Giant Gonzales that his nightmare will soon become reality.

The Nasty Boys (Brian Knobbs and Jerry Saggs) vs. The Headshrinkers (Samu and Fatu) ends in a double-disqualification when the fight goes outside and weapons, food and condiments come into play.

We take a moment to look at the numerous amounts of community service made by the WWF.

Next week: Kamala takes on Doink! Tatanka faces Repo Man! Also, The Bushwhackers (Bushwhacker Butch and Bushwhacker Luke).

Come As You Are (WWF Superstar) - Superstars recap for March 13, 1993

Papa Shango beats Mark Ming.

The Nasty Boys (Jerry Sags and Brian Knobbs) beat Ed Arce and The White Shadow. During the match, it is announced that in the newest issue of WWF Magazine, there is an article in the Private Eye section about The Nasty Boys' misadventures at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Sean Mooney advertises a meet and greet with Team IcoPro member and bodybuilder Danny Padilla, who will be signing autographs and giving out training tips at Odessa Nutrition Center, Beach Shopping Center, Peekskill, New York today from 4 PM to 6 PM. Mooney also advertises the show at Madison Square Garden on March 21st, where "Macho Man" Randy Savage will be taking on Doink and Bret "Hit Man" Hart and Mr. Perfect take on Razor Ramon and "The Narcissist" Lex Luger. We then hear from Razor Ramon, who tells Bret that it is no secret that every wrestler wants to be on top of the WWF, and that it is no secret that anything goes. He will do whatever it takes, and Mr. Perfect and Bret's troubles have doubled as he has a partner they won't believe: "The Narcissist" Lex Luger. He promises that they will put them out. We then hear from Mr. Perfect and Bret. Mr. Perfect finds it a little hard to believe that the two of them have joined forces, but it is for a very good reason, as Razor and Luger need to be taught a wrestling lesson, and who better to do it than him and Bret. Bret says Luger will not learn technical wrestling by looking into a mirror, while Razor doesn't know the meaning of bad as he has not stepped into the ring with them. They will be there.

Yokozuna beats Casey Cleric. After the match, Raymond Rougeau interviews Mr. Fuji, and says Bret "Hit Man" Hart will not lose at WrestleMania. Mr. Fuji says that Yokozuna will destroy Bret at WrestleMania, and after that, they will call him "The Squashed Man" instead of "The Hit Man." Rougeau says that Casey Cleric is no Bret Hart, and says Yokozuna will be facing a man with tremendous wrestling skills and more determination any other WWF Champion, and what they are talking about is respect. Mr. Fuji then tells Yokozuna to show Cleric some respect, and he does that in the form of another belly-to-belly suplex and a few stomps to the chest before hitting him with another Banzai Drop. Rougeau says Mr. Fuji has made his point and tells him to call Yokozuna off as Cleric is turning blue, but Mr. Fuji says Cleric will learn respect for Yokozuna. He then calls Yokozuna off this time, but at WrestleMania, Bret will get much worse than what Cleric received, and Yokozuna will get all the respect when he becomes the WWF Champion.

During the WrestleMania 9 report, we hear from Bret "Hit Man" Hart, who tells Yokozuna that he hopes he feels like a big man after squashing Casey Cleric to build up his confidence and tear down his, but that will not happen as he is the excellence of execution and the best technical wrestler in the WWF, and what Mr. Fuji has does not scare him. When Fuji steps in the ring, he will make that one fatal mistake, and Yokozuna will have to come up for air as he does not have the endurance to keep up with him, and that he'll see what they've got at WrestleMania. We also hear from Money Inc. ("The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster), who say that The Mega Maniacs (Hulk Hogan and Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake) think they found the equalizer to beat them, but when they step into the ring, the dice will come up snake eyes. Irwin R. Schyster says they won't need the briefcase at WrestleMania as it will not hold all the money they are going to win and that they have a special armor-proof briefcase made just for Brutus. We then hear from Shawn Michaels, who says Tatanka thinks the odds are in his favor, and that at WrestleMania 9, it would be an unwise gamble to go against him, because when he comes to the show, he will show everyone in the WWF that Tatanka has a yellow stripe running down his back to match the red stripe running down his head. We also hear from Crush in Kona, Hawaii, who says he will manhandle the waves today much like how he will manhandle Doink at WrestleMania 9. He says the sound of the waves pounding on the rocks is nothing compared to the sound of the pounding Doink will get at WrestleMania 9. After we see Crush on a surfboard, he tells Doink to get ready to be crushed.

Tatanka beats Al Burke. After the match, Harvey Wippleman and Giant Gonzales enter the ring as Tatanka is on his way out, and Wippleman takes the microphone. He says he is here to inform the people that Giant Gonzales was scheduled to take on thirty different opponents tonight, even ten at a time, but when everyone found out they were going against Giant Gonzalez, they all packed their bags and hit the door running. He says this is the reason why The Undertaker is nowhere to be seen in the arena tonight, because he is just like all the other cowards and he is scared to death. He then says that Giant Gonzales is not fixing to stand around and wait until April 4th for WrestleMania 9 to destroy The Undertaker, as they are going to find The Undertaker themselves right now. Giant Gonzales takes the microphone and says that when he finds The Undertaker, he will bury him.

We see Mike Modana from the NHL All-Star spend time with the perfect goaltender: Mr. Perfect. During the match, it is announced that WWF Spotlight Magazine has Mr. Perfect on the cover. After the match, Lex Luger puts Joey Maggs in front of the mirror, mocks his physique and calls him "pathetic," and tells everyone that he is what a wrestler is supposed to look like.

"The Narcissist" Lex Luger beats Joey Mags.

Sean Mooney advertises Raw for Monday night, March 22nd at the Manhattan Center in Midtown Manhattan, New York at 8 PM. Kamala will face Giant Gonzales, while Tatanka, Bob Backlund and Bam Bam Bigelow will be there. He then advertises the show at Madison Square Garden on March 21st, where The Steiner Brothers (Rick and Scott Steiner) will square off against Money Inc. ("The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster). DiBiase says that The Steiner Brothers are the two finest opponents they have ever seen, and says they have rolled over all their opponents until now when they finally square off against them. If they want a title shot, they will have to earn it, and suggest they get a good manager as Jimmy Hart is looking for a job. Irwin R. Schyster says Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake wanted to wrestle them, and look what happened. He says the same will happen to The Steiner Brothers. Also, Doink takes on "Macho Man" Randy Savage. We hear from Savage, who says that we will find out what Doink is made of, but he already knows: nothing in particular, but everything in general as he likes to confuse all the little kids all the other words. Nevertheless, he has made his mark on everyone in the WWF. He says Doink did the same to Crush, but he did it from behind. He says he will be looking out for him, and looking at him from a perspective he will not like. He says he will take Doink down, not because he is insecure, but because he is very secure. Also at Madison Square Garden, Tatanka will face Papa Shango.

Next week: Giant Gonzalez! Doink! Bob Backlund! Money Inc. ("The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster)! A special interview with "The Narcissist" Lex Luger! Kamala!

Come As You Are (WWF Superstar) - Superstars recap for January 16, 1993

Razor Ramon quickly beats Buck Zumhofe. During the match, it is announced that Mr. Perfect is on the cover of the current issue of WWF Magazine, and that there is an article on Razor Ramon inside.

It is announced that the official WWF Royal Rumble program will be on newsstands this Tuesday.

Slick says it's a shame how Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee have abused Kamala. He knows he interfered, but he is a peaceful man and will not fight back, and he wants to help Kamala see the light just like he has, and asks the fans to embrace and reach out to him to help him down the righteous path. Harvey Wippleman says Kamala hasn't been the same since his Casket Match against The Undertaker at Survivor Series, and that he will never be the same once Kim Chee is done with him. He also says the WWF will never be the same after he drops the big bomb.

The Nasty Boys (Knobbs and Saggs) beat two unnamed wrestlers. During the match, the clown from earlier this week, now identified as Doink, shows up with his arm in a sling and interacts with some fans near the guardrail in the aisle. We also see pre-recorded footage of The Nasty Boys saying they want Money Inc. ("The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster) at Royal Rumble, and that they are confirmed for the Royal Rumble match.

Bret "Hit Man" Hart is on the cover of WWF Wrestling Spotlight, available on newsstands this Tuesday.

Raymond Rougeau interviews "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels. Shawn says that "Sensational" Sherri Martel will be in the corner of a guy who she is madly and passionately in love with - him, of course - and not in the corner of a man who viciously attacked her with a mirror like Marty Jannetty. As for Jannetty, everybody knows he is the man that carried the team and carried him through his entire career, and at Royal Rumble, he will be carried for the last time, and out of the building.

Crush beats W.T. Jones with the Cranium Crusher. During the match, Doink shows up again. We also see pre-recorded footage where Crush says he is training harder and stronger than before for the Royal Rumble match. After the match, Crush confronts Doink, who tries to hand him a flower and asks Crush not to hit him. Crush takes it and interacts with fans, then Doink rips off a cast and reveals there is a plastic arm underneath, and beats Crush with it from behind until he is unconscious. Referees and officials have to get Doink away from Crush and to the back. An EMT crew and ambulance is conveniently at the arena to place Crush on a stretcher.

Sean Mooney announces a show at San Jose State University on January 25th, where Earthquake will take on Yokozuna, Big Boss Man and Tatanka join forces against Money Inc. ("The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster) for the WWF Tag Team Championships and Bret "Hit Man" Hart faces Bam Bam Bigelow. We then see pre-recorded comments from Bam Bam Bigelow, who knows that Bret is on a heavy schedule and that he has the brawn, the guts and the stamina to take the WWF Championship from Bret. Bigelow that says that the bigger they are, the harder they fall, but the smaller Bret is, the farther he will fly. We also see pre-recorded comments from Big Boss Man and Tatanka. Big Boss Man says that thinking about Money Inc. ("The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster) makes his blood boil, but he's going to try to be calm and cool, as he knows Money Inc. can't buy him and Tatanka and that they will take the tag team titles from them. Tatanka says he and Big Boss Man represent law, truth and justice, which he believes in. He then says Money Inc. represents the government, which hurt his ancestors hundreds of years ago, and promises to avenge his ancestors by taking the tag team titles.

It is reported that Crush has regained consciousness on his way to a hospital.

Yokozuna quickly beats an unnamed wrestler. Before the match begins, we see pre-recorded comments from Mr. Fuji, who says that Yokozuna will win the Royal Rumble match. After the match, it is announced that Crush is fully mobilized and that he is about to be placed in an ambulance.

It is announced that The Undertaker, The Beserker, Papa Shango, "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase, Irwin R. Schyster, "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair, "The King' Jerry Lawler, Carlos Colon, Virgil, Bob Backlund, Yokozuna, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, Tatanka, "The Model" Rick Martel, Earthquake, Brian Knobbs and Jerry Saggs, The Headshrinkers, Mr. Perfect, Typhoon, The Great Tenryu, "El Matador" Tito Santana, Repo Man, Damien Demento, Koko B. Ware and "The Rocket" Owen Hart will all be in the Royal Rumble Match. Ric Flair says that he beat 29 of the best in an hour and ten minutes last year, and that he will repeat it again this year. Bob Backlund says that he and 30 other men all want to wrestle the WWF Champion at WrestleMania 9, but he has plans of his own and that he wants to be the one to do it. Damien Demento's voices tell him that he will win the Rumble. Big Boss Man tells Bam Bam Bigelow that he is 6'7" and 330 pounds of the meanest lawman to ever walk the earth and that he won't let him run roughshod over him. At Royal Rumble, he will make Bam Bam serve hard time. During the Royal Rumble report, we learn that Crush is finally placed in a waiting ambulance. It is noted that his left hand is moving, but not much else.

Tatanka quickly beats Tom Bennett. During the match, we see pre-recorded comments where Tatanka announce he is the first Native American to participate in the Royal Rumble, and he promises that he will win the Royal Rumble match and take on the WWF Champion.

Sean Mooney says that the responds on WWF Headlock on Hunger for the Somalia Relief Fund, with WWF making the cause public in a recent press conference at Madison Square Garden, where the WWF announced that they would donate a minimum of $100,000 to the cause. All proceeds from the January 29th event at the Garden will benefit the Somalia Relief Fund. Donations can be sent to the American Red Cross Somalia Relief Fund at P.O. Box 9131, Church St. Station, New York, New York 10256. It is also announced that WWF will perform at the Oakland Coliseum Arena on Saturday night, February 13th, and that more info on that show will be available next week. We then see pre-recorded comments from Razor Ramon, who says that he is the future WWF Champion. He says he's a nice guy and will give The Undertaker and Paul Bearer at the title if he wins, and tells Bearer to bring "that big, ugly stiff" to San Jose, California because everybody knows he's not just the WWF Champion, but the people's champion.

Next week: an update on the condition of Crush!

Come As You Are (WWF Superstar) - Superstars recap for May 9, 1992

Bret "Hit Man" Hart beats Von Krus with the Sharpshooter. During the match, we see pre-recorded comments from Shawn Michaels, who says he is a dynasty in the making and a man who will break a lot of hearts, including Bret Hart's. He says that the WWF Intercontinental Championship is his.

We hear from The British Bulldog, who tells Repo Man that he tried to choke him out with his rope but failed, and that he is now fighting mad and ready to bite into him, for this dog refuses to be tied down.

Kamala - making his first appearance on WWF programming for the first time in five years, and now having Harvey Wippleman and a masked man in a pith helmet and safari outfit named Kim Chee as his managers - beats Sonny Blaze after Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee have to tell Kamala to roll his opponent onto his back to pin him.

Tito Santana beats Bob Bradley. During the match, Mr. Perfect reads a letter from someone that is addressed to The Big Boss Man, stating that their sentence is over and that they are a free man, and that Big Boss Man - who called him a number without a name - is "a pig without a prayer."

We hear from The Mountie and Jimmy Hart. Jimmy Hart says that when he created The Hart Foundation, he knew he would have one man that was a backbone and a foundation, and that man is The Mountie. The Mountie says he is the only law and order in the World Wrestling Federation, and he will take on everybody. If anyone wants to step into his path, he will always get his man. We also hear from High Energy (Koko B. Ware and "The Rocket" Owen Hart). Owen says they are soaring to greater heights in the World Wrestling Federation, and Koko says they don't care who they face as they are in the best shape of their lives and everybody from them to the fans have energy.

The Legion of Doom (Road Warrior Animal and Road Warrior Hawk) and Paul Ellering wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day.

The Legion of Doom (Road Warrior Animal and Road Warrior Hawk) beat Terry Davis and Mark Kay. During the match, we see pre-recorded comments from The Genius and The Beverly Brothers (Beau and Blake Beverly), who continue to call The Legion of Doom "mama's boys" and "sissies."

Wrestlemania 8 is on the cover of the newest WWF Magazine, and inside is a personality profile on The Legion of Doom (Road Warrior Animal and Road Warrior Hawk).

We hear from Money Inc. ("The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster) and Jimmy Hart. DiBiase says money comes to money, and that Money Inc. is a very successful partnership, especially financially, and that The Natural Disasters (Earthquake and Typhoon) had their shot at the tag team titles only to come up short. Irwin R. Schyster says The Natural Disasters should have learned that they can't get away with doing things the easy way, and that they will soon learn there is no easy way to do things with Money Inc. We also hear from The Undertaker and Paul Bearer. Bearer tells Mr. Fuji to have The Berzerker run to the ring, scream and holler so The Undertaker can get his hands on him and it will all be over. The Undertaker says The Berzerker is the most vicious of the Viking warriors, but his travels have brought him directly to the gates of Hell, which he opens and closes.

Crush beats Kato in his WWF debut.

We hear from Papa Shango, who burns numerous pictures of The Ultimate Warrior as he says that the living will fall and the dead will rise as he reigns over The Ultimate Warrior's demise.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews "The Model" Rick Martel on the stage, still wearing Tatanka's feathers on his hat. Martel says he would never spray Arrogance into Tatanka's face, as he has too much class and he is a fashion trendsetter. He says that Tatanka's feathers are the hottest look in Paris right now after they have flown the coop. Martel says that Tatanka cries and snivels so much that his name should be "Whining Arrow," and if Tatanka wants to dance with him, the warpath he travels will soon become a trail of tears.

Sgt. Slaughter wishes everyone a Happy Mother's Day.

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair beats Sgt. Slaughter. At the start of the match, The Mountie shows up to get a closer look. After a seat is provided for The Mountie, Jimmy Hart brings a black box to The Mountie and leaves. Throughout the match, The Mountie is seen opening the box and pulling out a shock stick to shock Sgt. Slaughter with as Mr. Perfect distracts the referee. This allows Flair to get the win. After the match, The Mountie celebrates with Flair as Jimmy Hart hides the shock stick, then Jimmy Hart joins in afterwards. Two men place Sgt. Slaugher on a gurney as The Mountie calls Slaughter "U.S. scum."

The Nasty Boys (Jerry Sags and Brian Knobbs) beat Brian Brieger and Bill Pierce. During the match, it is announced that the WBF Bodystars will be competing against some of the WWF Superstars on the nighttime edition of Family Feud all this week.

It is announced that a tribute to Hulk Hogan is in the newest edition of WWF Magazine.

We hear from The Bushwhackers (Bushwhacker Butch and Bushwhacker Luke), who say that spring is in the air and that everybody is happy, including the fans that they get to give a lick. We also hear from The Berzerker and Mr. Fuji. Fuji says that when The Berzerker gets finished with Paul Bearer and The Undertaker, he will personally cremate The Undertaker and Bearer and give them a personal Viking funeral. The Berzerker says The Undertaker is unstoppable and keeps coming, but he is unstoppable, berserk and carrying a very big sword.

It is announced that Sgt. Slaughter is on his feet, but that any long-term effects from being shocked by The Mountie are not yet known. It is announced that word on Slaughter's status will be updated next week.

Next week: The Ultimate Warrior against one of The Nasty Boys (Jerry Sags and Brian Knobbs)! We hear from Jimmy Hart and The Nasty Boys, who says that Warrior is going to Nastyville and never coming back when his return will be the shortest in WWF history. We then hear from The Ultimate Warrior, who despite Papa Shango's curse, will put a curse on The Nasty Boys next week.