Thursday, September 16, 1999

Layin' da SmackDown - SmackDown recap for September 16, 1999

We see footage from earlier today, where the WWF referees are on strike outside of the arena following what happened earlier this week on Raw.

It is announced that there will be a Six-Pack Challenge between The Undertaker, Big Show, The Rock, Mankind, Kane and Triple H for the WWF Championship at SummerSlam, due to there being no #1 contender for the WWF Championship.

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin shows up. He says that just because he got disqualified on Raw does not mean Triple H is through with him. When he came to the ring, he came to beat Triple H's ass, and that's what he did. He says referee Earl Hebner was at the wrong place at the wrong time. He says that when Triple H beat his legs with the steel chair at SummerSlam, he should have bashed his brains in as he did not get the job down and that Triple H will be hunted down for as long as he can breathe, and he will serve him a can of whupass in front of the whole world. Austin then says they can do this the easy way or the hard way. Triple H can either show up and give him his rematch for the WWF Championship here tonight in a no-holds-barred match, or he can be carted out in a bodybag. Triple H and Chyna show up with their police escort, and Triple H tells Austin that he isn't getting anything because he blew his opportunity, and says he can kiss his ass. He then says he has been ordered to defend the WWF Championship tonight, and says that the crowd can kiss his ass for calling him an asshole. Triple H then announces that he will defend the title against a main event competitor of his choice, but it will not be Austin. However, it will be someone Austin has shared the ring with. He then says this is as close as Austin will ever get to the WWF title again. Austin then tells Triple H that he can prance around all he wants and talk about title matches, but he will be following him all night long, so he had better grow eyes in the back of his head as he will be so far up his ass that he won't be able to walk again.

WWF co-owner Shane McMahon shows up. Cindy Margolis is seen in the audience. Shane says he and The Mean Street Posse (Rodney, Pete Gas, Joey Abs) go way back, but this is about the happiness of his sister Stephanie McMahon. He demands that Joey Abs get in the ring with him right now, so he can show him what brotherly love is all about. Joey Abs shows up with Terri Runnels and the rest of the Posse, and Shane gets the match started with a dive on all three men, even though there is absolutely no referee in the ring. Test and Stephanie are seen watching this match from backstage, then Gerald Brisco shows up with a referee's shirt, which temporarily distracts Joey Abs.

Shane McMahon beats Joey Abs. During the match, Pete Gas drags referee Gerald Brisco out of the ring, and Brisco fights back. Rodney gets involved, but Joey Abs accidentally punches Rodney out of the ring. Shane hits Joey Abs with a low blow, then Pat Patterson shows up in a referee's shirt. Rodney pulls Patterson out of the ring during a pinfall attempt and fights him in the crowd. A third referee shows up in the form of Shawn Stasiak, and he makes the count when Shane hits a top rope splash to get one over on The Mean Street Posse (Rodney, Pete Gas, Joey Abs). Stephanie McMahon runs to the ring and celebrates with Shane in the ring, while Test watches from the stage. Stephanie then kicks Joey Abs in the abs. Cindy Margolis is seen on camera again, and Ivory is seen backstage, sneering as she heads to the ring with the WWF Women's Championship.

Ivory shows up. He says one of the nicest things about being WWF Women's Champion is that she gets to meet very important people, with her favorites being the movie stars. She mentions that Cindy Margolis is in the audience tonight, and asks her to stand up for the people. She does, and Ivory asks Cindy Margolis to do her the honor of joining him in the ring. Cindy gets in the ring, and as Ivory runs down Cindy's recent accomplishments - which includes being the most downloaded woman on the Internet - and asks Cindy to show one of those striking poses that she does on the Internet, and asks her to lay down on the mat and do one of the bikini poses. Cindy refuses, then Ivory grabs and demands she does it before she lays her down herself and calls her a bitch. Suddenly, Jeff Jarrett shows up and puts Cindy Margolis in the Figure Four Leg Lock to send a message to Chyna as Ivory cheers him on. Jeff Jarrett and Ivory then high-five each other, then Jarrett puts ivory in the Figure Four.

Lilian Garcia interviews Triple H, who says that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin will not be challenging him for the WWF Championship, and says that Austin had better be hoping that he doesn't start looking for him tonight. As this interview goes on, Austin can be seen hiding behind some curtains, overhearing the interview and making good on his promise that he will be following him around.

"Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry beats "The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman after Blackman is attacked from behind by Val Venis with a kendo stick behind the referee's back. Backstage official Tony Garea is the referee for this match. After the match, D'Lo Brown attacks Mark Henry and puts him in the Sky High.

Cindy Margolis is being placed in an ambulance when Jeff Jarrett tells her that her injury is a message from him to Chyna, and tells her to "download that." Test shows up and tells Jarrett to chill out, and this starts a brawl between Test and Jarrett.

Terry Taylor interviews Jeff Jarrett, who says that Test is a dumb "dime a dozen" blonde just like Cindy Margolis and that he will challenge Test to a match for the WWF Intercontinental Championship. When he is done with test, WWF co-owner Stephanie McMahon won't even recognize him.

Before the next match, Chris Jericho shows up and says he is one bad mamma jamma, and that he has tremendous news. "The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock has finally admitted defeat, and that backstage, he admitted that Jericho is the world's most dangerous man and that he is much tougher than he is. He then proceeded to get on his hands and knees and beg him to make sure that they never, ever meet face-to-face again, then licked the dust off his boots in gratitude for hiring Curtis Hughes to keep him from tearing his limb from limb. For this reason, he has allowed Curtis Hughes to take his place his match in this match tonight, and he has also scoured the streets of the city to find a referee qualified to work in this match, and he found that and so much more. That official is the great Mexican official: Manuel Garcia Lopez, or as he is better known, El Dopo. A referee in a green mask runs to the ring, then Ken Shamrock shows up. Chris Jericho then guests on commentary.

Curtis Hughes beats "The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock by disqualification after Shamrock does not let go of the ankle lock, even though there was no five-count. During the match, Chris Jericho gets involved in the match, and El Dopo does not ring the bell. Shamrock grabs El Dopo and unmasks him, and El Dopo is ring announcer Howard Finkel. The Fink begs for forgiveness, but Shamrock boots him to the mat.

Lilian Garcia interviews Mankind, who says tonight's five man Royal Rumble Rules Match might be total mayhem, but he and The Rock will act as a team as there in as inexplicable bond between them like a finely-tuned automobile, with The Rock being the front end and him being "The People's Rear End." He says that the only thing cooler than being picked to face Triple H for the WWF Championship is if The Rock is picked, so he can get some new material for catchphrases.

We see more footage from outside the arena from earlier today where the referees are on strike.

Before the next match, The Rock tells The Undertaker, Mankind, Kane and Big Show that they all can go down to the Tropicana Hotel right up the road, find the absolute best slot machine they can find, which has a Brahma bull on the front and has the words "The People's Slot Machine" on it. One of them will pull the handle and get three Brahma bulls, and they get the jackpot and jump around like a bunch of idiots. The Rock mocks all of his challenges while conjuring up images of Kane doing cartwheels and Big Show scaring everybody. He then says the doors will open, and he will arrive. Tears will run down their eyes and piss will run down their legs, then he will scoop up all the gold coins that they won, shine them all up real nice, turn them sideways and stick them straight up their candy asses. After that, Triple H and Chyna are seen backstage, and Triple H tells Chyna that if they see "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, he will get Austin before Austin sees him, and he will beat his ass tonight.

The Undertaker beats Big Show, Mankind, The Rock and Kane in a five-man Royla RUmble Rules Match. During the match, The Undertaker shows up in plain clothes and joins in on commentary, not even taking apart in the match until Big Show is about to be eliminated by The Rock, when he does the deed himself and gets rid of both men. (One of the referees for this match is WWF security guard JIm Dotson, who has been seen frequently on shows since 1998 and will continue to do so throughout the Attitude Era. The other is timekeeper Mark Yeaton.) After the match, Big Show confronts The Undertaker, but Mideon and Viscera show up and stand with The Undertaker. The Rock gets back in the ring and hits them all with a steel chair, but he eventually gets overpowered.

Before the next match, Hardcore Holly tells Chyna that she has had more than enough time to find a tag team partner, and that it's time for him to do what he should have done last week. Chyna shows up (with her own TitanTron video for the first time), but has no tag team partner. She takes on Hardcore and Crash Holly by herself.

Chyna beats Hardcore and Crash Holly. During the match, "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn shows up and acts as Chyna's tag team partner, much to Chyna's chagrin. Referee Earl Hebner's twin brother Dave Hebner - who is now a road agent after originally working as a referee - is the referee for this match. After the match, Chyna and Gunn have words, then Jeff Jarrett shows up and smacks Chyna in the back with a frying pan. Debra and Miss Kitty show up with a shopping bag. Jarrett pulls an apron and a soup ladel out, and puts the apron on her wil placing the frying pan and the soup ladel in her hands. He then tells Chyna to start fixing him his supper.

Lilian Garcia interviews The Big Boss Man, who is holding a doggie bag. Inside it is the remains of Pepper. Boss Man says Al Snow had better be hungry, because after he's done kicking his ass, he will climb the pole, grab the bag, and forcefully feed it to Snow.

Al Snow beats The Big Boss Man in a Pepper On A Pole Match. Sgt. Slaughter is the referee for this match. During the match, The British Bulldog shows up with some expertly-handled Rottweilers. Boss Man takes the doggie bag off the pole, but tosses it out of the ring. Al Snow grabs it to win the match, then Boss Man is chased by the Rottweilers and falls over the guardrail as he gets away from them.

Backstage, Triple H tells Chyna that they will make history, and that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin will not be ruining their plans. As they talk, Austin is seen overhearing and watching them from inside the back of a truck.

Test vs. Jeff Jarrett for the WWF Intercontinental Championship ends in a no-contest. Timekeeper Mark Yeaton is the referee for this match. During the match, Rodney and Pete Gas show up and watch the match from ringside, and they distract Test and Yeaton during the match. As this happens, Pete Gas attacks Test, and WWF co-owner Stephanie McMahon shows up to confront Rodney. Shane attacks Rodney, then Gerald Brisco, Pat Patterson and Shawn Stasiak also come to assist. At this point, the bell has rung, the match already having gotten out of control. Jarrett then attacks Test, and Stephanie checks on Test. Jarrett goes for the Figure Four Leg Lock on Stephanie, but Shane tackles Jarrett before he can lock the hold in. Jeff Jarrett retains the WWF Intercontinental Championship.

WWF co-owner Stephanie McMahon is seen leaving the arena with Test, whose left shoulder appears hurt.

Before the next match, Triple H says he has been given the right to choose the referee for his match. He has gone through the trouble to find someone who has a vested interest in the match, and asks WWF co-owner Shane McMahon to do him the honors and be the special guest referee. WWF co-owners Vince and Linda McMahon ask Shane if he is up for it, and Shane says he is up to it. Shane shows up, and is allowed to head to the ring by Triple H and Chyna's police detail. Triple H says there are numerous superstars in the WWF who could be considered for a title shot tonight, such as The Undertaker. He says he and The Undertaker would like to rip each other's hearts out, but The Undertaker is not the opponent. He mentions Big Show, but he has beaten his brains in with a sledgehammer already. He mentions Kane, but says he would hate to put him through the misery of beating him again. He tells Mankind to go play with his sock, then tells The Rock has some sort of fascination with inserting things into people's rectum and tells him to kiss his ass since it is not him. He says his opponent is somebody special, as this person is playing a game he wants no part of and wants to be a hero. He says he has taken it upon himself to get in the ring and steal his glory and thunder, and has "balls the size of grapefruits." He then says that if Vince McMahon wants to be a hero to his wife and be a star, he will give him that chance as he has had enough, and the fact of the matter is, he will put the WWF Championship on the line to get a piece of his ass. He then screams at Vince, then gives Linda a chance, saying she might not last long, but at least he will let her "ride [his] bench." At this point, Vince has had enough, and he heads to the ring. All the while, SHane cannot even believe what is going on. Vince finally shows up and heads to the ring, and asks Triple H to head to the back so they can discuss it like men. Triple H says the talking is over, and says it is the two of them in the ring, right now. Vince says Raw was personal, but he does not want to involve himself in WWF business. Nevertheless, he tells Triple H not to make it too personal. Triple H asks if Vince doesn't have the balls, and says he is calling Vince out. Vince flat out says "no," and Triple H tells Vince to head back to the back and hide behind his skirt, and to tell his sexually frustrated wife that if he can't get the job done, Triple H can keep it up all night for her. Vince attacks Triple H as soon as he turns his back. This starts the match.

Vince McMahon beas Triple H to become the WWF Champion! During the match, Triple H shoves referee Shane McMahon for confronting him for using a steel chair. Shane tackles Triple H, then Chyan gets in the ring and she and Triple H stomp Shane. Triple H then grabs the steel chair and smashes it into Shane's head. Linda McMahon heads to the ring wtih Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco trying to stop her. Triple H and Chyna make quick work of Patterson and Brisco, then Linda gets in the ring only to be grabbed by Chyna. Linda is forced to watch as Triple H punches Vince multiple times. Triple H is then about to put Vince in the Pedigree when "Stone Cold" Steve Austin comes out of the crowd. Linda McMahon gets away, and Austin stomps a mudhole in Triple H in the corner before hitting both Triple H and Chyna with a Stone Cold Stunner. Austin then places Vince McMahon on top of Triple, then drags Shane towards Vince and Triple H. Shane makes the three-count, and Vince McMahon becomes the WWF Champion. At 54 years old, he is the oldest man to win the title. After the match, Austin flees through the crowd, and Linda and Shane check on Vince while Triple H and Chyna chase after Austin. Vince, Linda, Shane, Patterson and Brisco celebrate in the ring to end the show.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.