Raw Deal - Raw recap for September 6, 1999

RAW

Before the next match, The Rock tells Kane he does not impress him with fire coming out of everywhere and the ability to talk, and tells him he is in a giving mood. If Kane comes out, he will give him the microphone so he can talk in front of the millions - and millions - of The Rock's fans, then take his electrolarynx that he used to use, take all the batteries out, lube it up, turn it sideways and stick it straight up his candy ass. Mankind then shows up, and says he gets a little prouder to be his tag team partner every day, and sends out a special "get well soon"to someone named Daniel before sending a message to the dozens - and dozens - of his Ivy League, saying he is back in Harvard...even though tonight's show is in Hartford, Connecticut. When Kane shows up, X-Pac is nowhere to be seen, even though the D-Generation X theme is being played. Kane asks the bell to be rung, but before the match can get started, Triple H shows up and volunteers to be Kane's tag team partner. Chyna also shows up, carrying a sledgehammer in her right hand.

The Rock and Mankind retain the WWF Tag Team Championships against Triple H and Kane. During the match, Triple H tags himself in, but Kane clotheslines him out of the ring as he does not trust him. Triple H hits Kane in the back with a sledgehammer behind referee Earl Hebner's back, allowing The Rock to hit the Rock Bottom and the People's Elbow to retain. After the match, Triple H gets back in the ring with the sledgehammer, sees if Kane is still down, and grabs him only to nearly be choke slammed. Triple H fights that off and proceeds to hit Kane with the sledgehammer again, then Big Show and The Undertaker walk into the ring. Triple H runs away, and Kane is able to head back to the back under his own power.

Michael Cole interviews Jacqueline, who says he will kick Jeff Jarrett's butt for wanting to use her as an example for what he will do to Chyna at Unforgiven. She says Jeff has forgotten that she used to fight women bigger and badder than him, and that she invited Jeff to bring Debra and Miss Kitty to ringside, since it won't be the first time she has slapped three dumb blondes in one night.

Before the next match, Jeff Jarrett says there will be no puppies tonight, as Debra would not be caught dead in a place like Hatford, Connecticut. He then tells Chyna to pull her chair up close to the monitor in the back and take a real hard look, as she will find out what happens when a woman steps into his world.

Jeff Jarrett quickly beats Jacqueline with the Figure Four Leg Lock. After the match, Jacqueline pokes Jarrett in the eyes, but Jarrett makes her pay by smashing his guitar into her head.

Terry Taylor interviews Val Venis. He says he will throw some advice to "The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman. Tonight, he had better hope that he finds him before he finds Blackman.

Edge and Christian beat The Acolytes (Faarooq and Bradshaw) to become #1 contenders for the WWF Tag Team Championships after referee Tim White is preoccupied with making sure Faarooq is okay after being sent into the steel steps by Edge. During the match, it is announced that Jacqueline may have suffered a concussion following the guitar shot from Jeff Jarrett from earlier.

Michael Cole interviews Edge and Christian. The Acolytes (Faarooq and Bradshaw) are seen approaching, but they are attacked from behind by The Dudley Boyz (Buh Buh Ray and D-Von Dudley) with garbage cans.

We see GTV footage hwere Big Show and Val Venis are using the urinal. Venis makes fun of Big Show's penis size, and Big Show repsonds by slamming him into the wall of a bathroom stall.

Michael Cole interviews Meat, who says to forget about Terri Runnels and to forget about Meat. He says his real name is Shawn Stasiak, and while his last name might not mean much now, it did 25 years ago when his father, Stan "The Man" Stasiak, won the WWF Championship. He syas one of the hardest things to do in the WWF is get your foot in the door, which he plans to do tonight. All of a sudden, The Mean Street Posse (Rodney, Pete Gas, Joey Abs) shows up and tells him "[his] old man sucked" before beating him up.

Val Venis shows up and tells Big Show that he seems to be brave enough to slap him around int he washroom, and tells him to bring his baig ass to the ring so he can slap him around in front of the crowd. The Undertaker and Big Show are then seen backstage, and 'Taker asks Big Show if he is going to pick up the "punk" card that Val Venis just handed him. 'Taker laughs as Big Show says "C'mon!" and heads to the ring.

Big Show beats Val Venis after catching him from a leap from the top rope and choke slamming him. After the match, "The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman runs into the ring and hits Venis in the back with a Kendo stick, and says nobody calls him out.

Terry Taylor interviews The Dudley Boyz (Buh Buh Ray and D-Von Dudley). Buh Buh Ray says they are eight-time tag team champions, and The Acolytes (Faarooq and Bradshaw) have seen nothing yet. D-Von says he will strike down upon all pretenderds and non-believers with great vengeance and furious anger, then says there are three things to understand: thou shall not kill, thou shall not steal...and before he can say the third thing, The Acolytes rush in and attack the Dudleys backstage with elements of the interview set. Referees and officials have to restore order.

Howard Finkel shows up again, this time interrupting Lilian Garcia. He says there is a problem and that he instead to solve it. He says that he is the best at what he does, and he suggests that Lilian take a seat and watch what the best does, all the while boasting that he has done every WrestleMania as well as a lot of pay-per-views. Lilian Garcia sits at ringside, but when he read the card for the next match, he simply says "Uh-oh." "The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock runs out and chases after The Fink. As soon as he gets his hands on him, Chris Jericho shows up on the TitanTron. He says Shamrock has made him and now he has to pay "the Jericho price." He says this is not "a fabricated, pretend sport like UFC" and that this is sports entertainment. In his realm, he is the world's most dangerous man, and on SmackDown, he finally gives him a match against him. He warns Shamrock that when he has his head against his armpit and screaming like an unwashed baby, he will wish he never incited the fury of Y2J. Shamrock immediately runs to the back.

It is announced by Jim Ross that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin will be on SmackDown this Thursday, according to a very reliable source.

Triple H and Chyna show up. Triple H says people have forgotten a few things around here, and reminds them that like it or not, he is the game and the WWF Champion, and his resume speaks volumes. After crippling Kane tonight, over a short period of time, he has run the gambit of the who's who in the WWF, crippling "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, destroying Mankind and putting him out for three months to beat him for the WWF Championship, and defending only a week later and dominating against The Rock. He tells WWF co-owner Linda McMahon, nicely and only once, that because he is the game and what he is doing is not a game, she had better keep her ass out of his business. Almost as if on cue, "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn shows up and asks if somebody called his name. He says he has read Triple H's resume and admits it is pretty impressive, but he knows him better than anybody. He says Triple H recruited him into D-Generation because he needed him and to avoid Mr. Ass kicking his ass. If anybody knows about ass, it's Mr. Ass, and not only is Triple H, but he is an asshole. Triple H says that if Gunn wants to walk out and run his mouth, he will do him a favor and give him a shot at the WWF Championship. He says he will bring the belt, and tells Gunn to bring the balls, if he has any. He then says he has two words for him: suck it.

Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco are backstage, ready for their six-man tag match.

The Mean Street Posse (Rodney, Pete Gas, Joey Abs) show up with Terri Runnels before the next match. Terri Runnels guests on commentary, and asks what is wrong with being with three well-schooled, well-dressed, classy men.

WAR ZONE

Pat Patterson, Gerald Brisco and Test beat The Mean Street Posse (Rodney, Pete Gas, Joey Abs). During the match, Rodney tries to walk out of the match, but Shawn Stasiak runs in and tosses Rodney back in.

Hardcore and Crash Holly are seen backstage, with Crash carrying a scale. Crash is seen bringing the scale in before the next match.

Before the next match, Hardcore Holly tells The New Brood (Jeff and Matt Hardy) that if they want to wrestle them, they have to meet their requirements. He then says that by looking at them, he is wasting some of their time and that is something he does not like. He gives them the benefit of the doubt and allows them to get on the scale, away. Hardcore Holly calls Matt "Anorexic Annie" and Jeff "Karen Carpenter" as they get weight, then calls Gangrel "Dracula" and "Fat Bastard." None of them make the requirements, and Hardocre Holly tells them to see them after eating several dozens of donuts. The New Brood reponds with a Jeff Hardy drop kick off the top rope to Hardcore Holly, and the match begins.

Hardcore and Crash Holly beat The New Brood (Jeff and Matt Hardy), then The New Brood continue to attack Crash Holly after the match. The lights go out and red lights start flashing, then Crash Holly is seen covered in blood. Crash punches Hardcore Holly for laughing at him, and both cousins brawl.

Michael Cole interviews Big Show and The Undertaker. 'Taker grabs the microphone and tells Michael Cole to get out. As far as The Rock and Mankind, their worst nightmare has come true, and they want a rematch this Thursday. It will not be any tag team match, however; it will be a Buried Alive Tag Team Match. He says that if they can get their heads out of each other's asses (brought upon after Big Show asks why they are having a Buried Alive if one of them has their head up the other's ass) and "grow a set," they will answer their challenge.

Al Snow is seen heading to the ring as Avatar (a former gimmick that Al Snow appeared in the World Wrestling Federation with a few years ago).

It is reported that Michael Cole is waiting for The Rock and Mankind to answer Big Show and The Undertaker's challenge.

Al Snow shows up as Avatar, says "Shazam!", and puts on his mask. He says that Avatar is here, and he is here to protect the World Wrestling Federation from evil, bad-doers and giant nuclear monsters spawned in Japan. He tells the fans to rest their weary heads, as Avatar is here.Al Snow then wonders what he is doing and where he is at, then looks down and notices he is dressed as Avatr, wondering why he is wearing "genie pants" and saying that the last time the WWF made him wear this, you could stuff a magnet up his ass and drag him through Fort Knox and he still would not have drawn money. He then admits he is losing it again, then starts barking like a dog and laughing before going to the commentary table, writing something on a notepad and running off with it.

Michael Cole interviews The Rock and Mankind. The Rock says The Undertaker and Big Show has enough gall to challenge him on his show, then tells Big Show and Undertaker to come to the ring as he mocks them before saying he will take a gold-plated shovel, hit Big Show upside the head with it, pour dirt on The Undertaker and stick the shovel straight up his candy ass. Mankind says he the distinct impression that 'Taker was making fun of him, and says there is a time for work and a time for play and he knows the different. He says it about pride, not the tag team titles, and it is about him and The Rock scooping dirt down The Undertaker's throat that Big Show won't be the only one making "uuuhhhhghhhhh" noises.

We see GTV footage where Marianna is calling somebody on a payphone, saying someone is treating her like shit and asks them to talk to that person, as they are the only person she can trust now.

"Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry shows up with two women and guests on commentary for the next match. The two women then leave Mark Henry and go to the back.

D'Lo Brown beats "The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman. During the match "Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry distracts D'Lo Brown and the referee. Blackman is about to hit D'Lo from behind with nunchaku when Val Venis shows up, hits Blackman with a kendo stick and runs off with the nunchaku and Steve Blackman's bag. After that, D'Lo Brown hits the Lo Down for the win. After the match, Mark Henry gets in the ring, hits D'Lo in the back with the WWF European Championship and proceeds to attack him further before leaving.

Terry Taylor interviews Ivory, who is not worried about the hardcore match with Tori, saying she looks forward to "rearranging that skank's face against the nearest concrete wall." As she talks about potential weapons, she is suddenly attacked by Tori. Taylor, Sgt. Slaugher and a referee have to seperate both women.

Ivory and Tori are still fighting each other, this time in a bathroom. Jacqueline has to put on a towel and get out of the shower. At one point, Prince Albert, Droz and Viscera get a view of the action before they head further out in the arena.

Ivory retains the WWF Women's Championship against Tori in a hardcore match after smashing an entire mirror into Tori's head. After the match, Ivory burns Tori in the back with a chlothes iron.

Referee Earl Hebner bars her from ringside for the next match, saying they have had enough women problems. Chyna tells Hebner she will forget he even said that.

Kane is seen alone sitting on the floor in the corner of a room.

Before the next match, referee Earl Hebner sticks to his guns and ejects Chyna from ringside. Chyna leaves, but not before confronting "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn as he makes his way to the ring, which allows Triple H to get a cheap shot on Gunn.

Triple H retains the WWF Championship against "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn. During the match, WWF co-owner Shane McMahon shows up and distracts "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn, and a few referees have to keep Shane back. As the referees - which include Earl Hebner - are distracted, Triple H tries to nail Gunn with the WWF Championship, but Gunn ducks it, take the title and nails Triple H with it instead. He goes for the pinfall, but Triple H kicks out. Gunn argues with Hebner, and as they argue in the corner, Triple H runs in only to inadvertently hit Hebner, knocking him out. Gunn then hits the Fameasser, but cannot win by pinfall as Hebner is down. Triple H then goes for the Pedigree, but Gunn hits Triple H with a low blow. Hebner gets back up, and Triple H kicks out of yet another pinfall. Triple H then hits the Pedigree to retain. Shane McMahon and Chyna show up and congratulate Triple H after the match, then Kane shows up and choke slams all of them to end the show.