Throwback Throwdown III - The Results

Backstage, Dexter Petticoat (Crazzy Steve) interviews Johnny Swinger (Johnny Swinger). Swinger says bringing the gold home would mean more money and more women with a title that was made for him, then says that Mikey Swinger is watching from the hospital and tells hiim that he will bringing the Exciting Division Championship home.

"The Mysterious" Mr. E (Jackson Stone) beats Lazer after pushing the referee away so he can spit a liquid into Lazer's face.

The introduction to the show sets the stage for Rival Survival '85. Giuseppe Scovelli Jr. (Josh Mathews) tells his father Giuseppe "Pops" Scovelli Sr. (Scott D'Amore) that he knows the financial toll that Impact Provincial Wrestling Federation is taking on him, and says that he has an idea to save the company: selling his shares in the company to Walter Chestnut (David Penzer), whom Pops does not trust. Pops says that he has cut a television deal with a superstation known as "AXS." Giuseppe Jr. mentions that he has already sold his shares in the company, and Pops says that he will get the shares back if his team of IPWF wrestlers can beat Chestnut's team of wrestlers from Great Lakes Unionized Wrestling (GLUW) in a four-on-four match called the "Rival Survival" match, but if his team loses, then he will sell his shares of the comapny to Chestnut. Pops still insists that they will keep the company and it will live forever. Meanwhile, Walter Chestnut says that the Scovellis have no idea how to run a wrestling company, but he does, and now he wants the company and the television deal. He says GLUW is "a thousand times better" than IPWF, then introduces his team.

As the ring announcer announces the main event, IPWF's resident doctor Ross shows up and mentions something to the ring announcer. The ring announcer then mentions that "Downtown" Danny Brown (Willie Mack) will not be here tonight because his tires were slashed in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Giuseppe Scovelli Jr. then shows up and admits that he got his family's company into trouble, then says that he will be on the IPWF team and that the company will live forever.

Rapid Delivery Pete (Rich Swann) beats Monty Moonlight (Zicky Dice) when Moonlight tries to use Pete's pizzas as a weapon only to sent head-first into the pizzas with a drop toe hold.

Backstage, Dexter Petticoat (Crazzy Steve) interviews Bill Ding (Trey Miguel). Bill Ding measures Petticoat before saying that he is not an "evil architect," the only evil person is Jack Hammer (Andrew Everett) and that his designs are flawless. He says he will climb the pole and clock Jack Hammer out for good.

Bill Ding (Trey Miguel) beats Jack Hammer (Andrew Everett) in a Clock Out Match. (In this match, a hole puncher is one pole and a time card is on the other; one must get both the hole puncher and the time card and punch a hole in the time card to force their opponent to clock out for good.)

Otto Ottoman (Tom Hannifan) interviews Walter Chestnut (David Penzer) and Team GLUW ("The Devil Demon" Devon Demon [Crowbar], Neptune [Shera], Manfred the Mad Mammal [The Beer City Bruiser], Lord Humongous [Big Kon]). When asked if he is responsible for the slashing of Downtown Daddy Brown's (Willie Mack) tires, Penzer takes it as character assassination and asks why he would assassinate a vehicle when he has Team GLUW at his side. He then says that if there if anyone who does not believe that he will own IPWF after they win, all they have to do is look at Team GLUW, then boasts that he will win and become the new owner of IPWF. Team GLUW then puts a GLUW (Great Lakes Union Wrestling) banner over the IPWF logo on the apron, then Walter Chestnut says that after his team wins, Giuseppe Scovelli Jr. will be lucky if he sells programs at his spots shows and that Ottoman will be fired.

Before the next match, The $304,000 Man (R.D. Evans) says that fortune favors him now that Pierre Trudeau is gone as Prime Minister, then tells Georgia Cobb that fortune does not favor her, as just like McGruff the Crime Dog takes a bite out of crime, her opponent - Wanda the Werewoman (Savannah Evans) will take a bit out of Cobb and leave her howling at the moon.

Georgia Cobb (Jordynne Grace) beats Wanda the Werewoman (Savannah Evans) after knocking The $304,000 Man (R.D. Evans) off the apron.

It's time for Tunnel of Love. Ladybird Johnston (Jessicka Havok) interviews Tori Nailbiter (Rosemary). Johnston questions Tori's decision to go from being a rock 'n roller to a pro wrestler, but Tori says she wants to do this, for when one conquers the rock 'n roll world, the only thing better than music fans are the fans of IPWF. Johnston says that ever since Tori has decided to become a pro wrestler, everyone has fought tooth and nail over who wants to be her manager and asks Tori whom she will pick. Suddenly, "The Hit Maker" Sebastian Baker and usty Iron (Gia Miller) show up. Sebastian says that rock 'n roll legends are better than "North Carolina nobodies," and that he knows both the rock 'n roll and wrestling business before telling Toni she belongs in The Hit Factory. He says he has done wonders for Rip Rayzor ("Inevitable" Ace Austin) and Rusty Iron since they joined, then asks Toni "Whaddya say?" Toni mentions Rip Rayzor losing a match and going to jail for attempted murder, which Rusty Iron takes offense to before saying she will iron out her disrespect when she joins The Hit Factory. Toni says Sebastian needs her more than she needs Sebastian, and that she has no intention of joining The Hit Factory before saying she has already made her choice. Sebastian says nobody knows rock 'n roll and the wrestling business like he does, then Toni says she will bring them out later tonight when she meets "Rusty Pinkeye" in the ring. Rusty Iron storms off.

Backstage, Dexter Petticoat (Crazzy Steve) says that he would never let Great Lakes Unionized Wrestling put their banner on the ring apron, then interviews Brian "Bone" Crunchin (Brian Myers) after we see backstage footage of Crunchin finding out that GI Broski (Matt Cardona) has been laid out by The Sunday Morning Express (Editor-In-Chief and The Paper Boy [Chris Sabin and Jack Price]) from last week. Crunchin says that GI Broski will be out for over a month after being hit by a bicycle, then says he has tried to find a replacement for GI Broski but could not find one. He then says he will go at this one alone.

Before the next match, The Paper Boy (Jack Price) tells Editor-In-Chief) Chris Sabin that the people of North Carolina don't know how to read, then Editor-In-Chief says that tonight was supposed to be a tag team match, but the card is subject to change and GI Broski (Matt Cardona) is not here tonight. He then says Broski is "chicken" and not actually hurt, then dares Brian "Bone" Crunchin to take them on solo so he can find out why The Sunday Morning Express always gets the scoop.

Brian "Bone" Crunchin (Brian Myers) beats The Sunday Morning Express (Editor-in-Chief and The Paper Boy [Chris Sabin and Jack Price]) in a two-on-one handicap match. During the match, "The Dynamic Dude" Shane Douglas (Shane Douglas) jumps in to become Crunchin's tag team partner and help Crunchin win the match.

We hear from The Leaping Lords (Duncan and Declan [Archibald Peck and Matthew Rehwoldt]). who come from a long line of lords. Declan says they will leap over the competition to the tag team championships and that they will be in action next week.

Before the next match, Monsieur Baguette ("Speedball" Mike Bailey) introduces himself to the crowd before saying that Winston-Salem, North Carolina is a dump and that the people are nothing, and that he will teach them to live, laugh and make love to a woman before demanding his opponent so that he may teach him a lesson.

Monsieur Baguette ("Speedball" Mike Bailey) beats "Ornery" Otis Oates (Deaner) after grabbing a broom from underneath the ring, throwing it into the ring and distracting the referee so that he can hit Oates with a loaded baguette containing a metal pipe.

Otto Ottoman (Tom Hannifan) makes fun of Dexter Petticoat (Crazzy Steve) before interviewing 1980 Rookie of the Year Tommy Dreamer (Tommy Dreamer). He says feuds in wrestling are started over a simple thing and how a fight over a parking space led to him getting laid out in the parking lot, then talks about how Pelvis Wesley (Heath) and Colonel Corn (John E. Bravo) have been running the territory for a long time and have put a bounty on him, and how he got a call from "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes telling him he has his back if he needs him. Dreamer says he told Dusty that he would take care of this on his own, then says that if he does not beat Pelvis Wesley, he will leave IPWF forever. However, if he wins, he will get five minutes in the ring with Colonel Corn and take it to him like it has never been taken to him before.

Tommy Dreamer (Tommy Dreamer) beats Pelvis Wesley (Heath) after Wesley almost inadvertently knocks Colonel Corn (John E. Bravo) off the ring apron. As per pre-match stipulation, Tommy Dreamer gets five minutes in the ring with Colonel Corn.

Colonel Corn (John E. Bravo) beats Tommy Dreamer. During the match, Dreamer gets Corn in the Cobra Clutch, but Pelvis Wesley (Heath) gets on the ring apron and pokes Dreamer in the eye. Colonel Corn ends up on top of Dreamer when Dreamer falls, and inadvertently gets the pinfall victory.

We hear from The Auto-Bodies (Smokey Muffler and Busty Transmission [Mickie James and ODB]). Smokey mentions that they have a match tonight against Volcanic Activity (Lucy Luau and Tina Tiki ["The Quintessential Diva" Gisele Shaw and Tasha Steelz]), and Busty says that all she saw was four flat tires. Smokey says that Volcanic Activity have not been passing their emissions inspections and need to get it together, and Busty says they need an oil change. Smokey says that Volcanic Activity have a few lugnuts loose if they think they have a chance against them.

The Auto-Bodies (Smokey Muffler and Busty Transmission [Mickie James and ODB]) beat Volcanic Activity (Lucy Luau and Tina Tiki ["The Quintessential Diva" Gisele Shaw and Tasha Steelz]) after Smokey Muffler hits Lucy Luau with a wrench.

Backstage, Dexter Petticoat (Crazzy Steve) interviews Gisueppe "Pops" Scovelli Sr. (Scott D'Amore), Colt McCoy (Eddie Edwards), Frank the Butcher (Rhino) and Tim Burr (Josh Alexander). Pops tells Walter Chesnutt (David Penzer) may be able to pull stuff with his son Giuseppe Scovelli Jr. (Josh Mathews) because he is wet behind the ears, but IPWF has the very best and Giuseppe Jr. will make things right, because Chestnutt and GLUW do not have a chance against them. Colt McCoy guarantees that Chestnut is the one who slashed "Downtown" Daddy Brown's (Wille Mack) tires and is a true scumbag who will knock people out with his bad breath, eat his boogers and put his gum on the seat for someone else to sit on. He says Chestnut cannot be trusted to run IPWF. Tim Burr says they fight for IPWF and chop down "the GLUW monsters," and Frank the Butcher asks if someone said "chop" before leading a "chop" chant.

"Bully" Biff Knuckles (John Skyler) is the mystery third opponent in the IPWF Exciting Division Championship Match.

Johnny Swinger (Johnny Swinger) beats "Fleet Feet" Keaton Fox (Jason Hotch) with an inside cradle as he has "Bully" Biff Knuckles (John Skyler) in a figure four leg lock to become the first-ever IPWF Exciting Division Champion! During the match, Knuckles steals one of Fox's trainers and puts it in his backpack, but Swinger grabs it out of the backpack and throws it back to Fox.

Before the next match, Tori Nailbiter reveals her new manager: "Rock 'n Roll" Ricky Morton (Ricky Morton).

Tori Nailbiter (Rosemary) beats Rusty Iron (Gia Miller) after "Rock 'n Roll" Ricky Morton (Ricky Morton) beats up "The Hit Maker" Sebastian Baker (Jimmy Jacobs) at ringside while Tori Nailbiter keeps Rusty Iron from striking with a foreign object.

Otto Ottoman (Tom Hannifan) interviews Sonny Sanders (Sami Callihan), shows up with his head in bandages. Ottoman says he is glad that Dexter Petticoat (Crazzy Steve) is not doing the interview, as there would be an interviewee who cannot speak and an interviewer who cannot see. Sanders says he is in a bad mood, and he tells the fans to keep their mouths shut and not to test him. He says he is done being disrespected after DJ 2Large (Moose) broke his jaw, then Dexter Petticoat shows up and goes after Otto Ottoman before chasing him to the back. Sanders then re-introduces himself before introducing his newest talent acquistion: "The Real Nature Boy" Buck Humphrey (Kaleb with a K), accompanied by "The Perfect 10" Baby Doll (Baby Doll). Humphrey says he has heard that Ric Flair has been travelling around the Mid-Atlantic calling himself "The Nature Boy," then says that if he wants to steal something from him, he can still something from Flair, and he has "The Perfect 10" as his valet. He also says that he is like the Energizer Bunny and that he keeps going and going, and that in 40 years, people will still be chanting his name, unlike Flair. Humphrey says he will make Winston-Salem, North Carolina "Humphrey country" starting with DJ 2Large before repeatedly yelling "Wow!"

DJ 2Large (Moose) beats "The Real Nature Boy" Buck Humphrey (Kaleb with a K). During the match, "The Perfect 10" Baby Doll (Baby Doll) distracts the referee so that Sonny Sanders (Sami Callihan) can hold DJ 2Large down so that Humphrey can hit 2Large with Sonny's tennis racket. This backfires when DJ 2Large ducks and Humphrey inadvertently whacks Sonny in the head with the rack, allowing 2Large to hit the discus lariat for the win. After the match, DJ 2Large dances with Baby Doll before heading backstage with her.

Next week: The Leaping Lords (Duncan and Declan [Archibald Peck and Matthew Rehwoldt]) vs. Xcessive Force (Pummel and Plunder [D'Lo Brown and Fallah Bahh])! Dexter Petticoat (Crazzy Steve) vs. Otto Ottoman (Tom Hannifan) in a First Blood Match!

Team IPWF (Colt McCoy [Eddie Edwards], Tim Burr ["The Walking Weapon" Josh Alexander], Frank The Butcher [Rhino]), Giuseppe Scovelli Jr. [Josh Mathews]) beat Team GLUW ("The Devil Demon" Devon Damon [Crowbar], Neptune [Shera], Lord Humongous [Big Kon], Manfred The Mad Mammal [Beer City Bruiser]) in an eight-man elimination tag match to save IPWF and keep it in the hands of the Scovelli family. During the match, Giuseppe Jr. goes down with a hurt ankle early on, and Giuseppe "Pops" Scovelli Sr. (Scott D'Amore) subs for him late in the match. Tim Burr is also eliminated for using his axe against Lord Humongous. Near the end of the match, Colt McCoy inadvertently takes out the referee with a corner splash, but Giuseppe Jr. counts the double pinfall for Colt McCoy and Pops to get Team IPWF the win. After the match, Colt McCoy gets his hands on Walter Chestnut (David Penzer), and gets him in the ring where he puts Chestnut's dollar sign medallion around McCoy's neck before slamming Chestnut down with a Falcon Arrow. McCoy and Pops then floss with the GLUW banner on the ring apron before Frank the Butcher chops the banner in half and Tim Burr blows his nose on it to end the show.