Raw Deal - Raw recap for May 29, 2000

RAW

The Undertaker shows up to start tonight's show. Before he can say anything, however, The McMahon-Helmsley Regime also shows up. Triple H says he would like to come out and be the first guy to express to The Undertaker how great it is to have "the one true American Badass" back in the World Wrestling Federation, nobody is happier than he is, as The Undertaker has been back for only a short time and did him a huge favor when he helped him retain the WWF Championship against The Rock, and while he was going to kick The Rock's ass, The Undertaker saved him the effort of having to do the job himself. He says that being the kind of man that he is, it kept him awake at night not being able to thank him for what he did, then decides to blow his own horn for him by publicly thanking The Undertaker for what he did for him and the fans. The Undertaker tells Triple H to thank him for not kicking The McMahon-Helmlsley Regime's asses, that he does nothing for anybody except himself, that then says that when gets a chance to "slap a knot" on anybody in the Regime, he will take it, and that the WWF Championship belongs to him. Triple H tells him things have changed since he left, and if The Undertaker runs his mouth in the WWF, the Regime will close it. He then tells The Undertaker that the only way he will get close to the WWF Championship is when he rams it down his throat. As The McMahon-Helmsley Regime surrounds the ring, The Rock shows up. WWF Chairman Vince McMahon says this is a real simple picture to see, which he calls "the buddy system" with The Undertaker coming to the rescue of The Rock last week followed by The Rock coming to the rescue of The Undertaker before the Regime "kicked his ass." Vince says it is obvious to him that this is a deal that The Rock scratches The Undertaker's back in return for The Undertaker scratching The Rock's back. The Rock says that what is between him and The Undertaker is more along the lines of "[WWF co-owner] Shane [McMahon] scratching his ass, Triple H kissing Vince's ass and [Vince] sniffing a monkey's ass," and when he gets a chance to get his hands on anybody in the Regime, it is a good day, and it will be an even better day when "he makes change out of that two-dollar walking slut Stephanie [McMahon-Helmsley]." The Rock says that one way or the other, he will do what it takes to become WWF Champion. Vince says he has two individuals with common enemies and common goals, and tonight, instead of Triple H defending the WWF Championship, the fans will see The Undertaker one-on-one with The Rock.

D'Lo Brown, Perry Saturn, and Terri beat The Godfather, Dean Malenko and The Kat.

Backstage, Edge and Christian has Kevin Kelly take pictures of them when Joe C - of Kid Rock's entourage - shows up and takes a photo with them. When Christian calls Joe C "Mini-Me," Joe C tries to correct them, but Edge and Christian refuse to listen.

Backstage, Edge and Christian try to show Kurt Angle the picture they took with Joe C, but Kurt Angle has the European Championship on his mind.

Before the next match, Kurt Angle says Canada is lacking two things: Olympic heroes - of which Ben Johnson does not count, leading him to strive to become "North America's Olympic Hero" - and Memorial Day, which people in America celebrate with barbecues. He says that Canadians cannot have barbecues because they would be attacked by a moose, a caribou or a Grizzly bear. He then says that the Grizzles don't beat anybody in Vancouver, Canada, much less anyone else, and tonight, he will not only be "the North American hero," but he will represent the great countries of Europe as well, leading him to going global.

Eddie Guerrero retains the WWF European Championship against Kurt Angle. During the match, the referee is inadvertently wiped out as he is dealing with Chyna, who want to get back at Angle for hitting her with a baseball slide from inside the ring, and this allows Chyna to hit Angle with a low blow as he goes for a superplex. Eddie beats Angle with a hurricanrana from the top rope and retains, despite Angle's foot being underneath the bottom rope.

Backstage, Joe C is approached by Edge and Christian, who want to pay homage to him with a five-second pose, then ask whether they should call him a midget, a dwarf, a gnome or an Ewok. Joe C tells them to go have their match in the ring and then "go fuck [themselves]."

Backstage, "Road Dogg" Jesse James notices somebody is locked behind a room. The room is dark, and when Road Doog opens the door, he is grabbed, dragged in and beaten up before tossed out of the room.

Before the next match, Edge and Christian say that while British Columbia is "not the brightest province in the country," they will spell it out by telling them that Joe C is "an overrated midget rapper." They then unveil a five-second pose that honors "overrated midget rappers worldwide" called "Kickin' It Joe C Style." They put bucket hats on their heads, then kneel with their knees on shoes while crossing their arms.

Too Cool (Grandmasta Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty) beat Edge and Christian to become the WWF Tag Team Champions! During the match, Rikishi Phatu and Joe C - the latter carrying a hockey stick - show up, and Joe C hits Christian in the groin with the hockey stick. Grandmasta Sexay then hits Christian with one of the tag team titles introduced into the match by Edge and gets rid of both foreign objects to get the pinfall and win the titles. After the match, Too Cool, Rikishi and Joe C celebrate in the ring.

Backstage, WWF Chairman and WWF co-owner Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley agree that it was a great surprise to pit The Undertaker and The Rock against each other in a match tonight, and Vince says there will be "another real big surprise" courtesy of him. Suddenly, the lights go out, and when the lights come back on, everything is strewn about and Vince is attacked.

Before the next match, WWF co-owner Shane McMahon says Rikishi Phatu has seen by now why he is "an ubelievable thriller," and does not blame him for being scared in the back as he asks who would face a giant killer. He brags about beating The Big Show and The Undertaker as of late, then says his journey as "The King of Sting" begins and he will not be satisfied until he is King of the Ring.

Rikishi beats Shane McMahon by disqualification to qualify for the King of the Ring Tournament. During the match, Triple H shows up and distracts Rikishi, allowing Shane to hit a low blow. This does not last long, and Rikishi fends off not only Shane, but Triple H. As Rikishi goes for a Stinkface on Triple H, Shane hits Rikishi in the head with a steel chair, then he and Triple H team up to hit Rikishi with a Pedigree. Shane then counts his own three-count, despite the match being already stopped, and Rikishi wins by disqualification.

Backstage, WWF co-owner Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley says that The McMahon-Helmsley Regime is nothing but fair and that they gave two people - who she is now talking to - an opportunity last night to take out Chris Jericho only to fail after The Hardy Boyz (Jeff and Matt Hardy) ran in unexpectedly. Those people in particular are T&A (Test and Albert), accompanied by Trish Stratus and Val Venis, Tonight, she gives them an opportunity to redeem themselves. She says that Val Venis - whom Trish Stratus has had her eyes on for some time - would have no problems ripping apart that "beach blonde bum" Chris Jericho, and says that T&A and Venis will face The Hardy Boyz and Chris Jericho. She then tells them that this is their last opportunity to redeem themselves, then leaves the room. After Stephanie closes the door behind her, Test calls Stephanie a bitch.

WAR ZONE

Before the next match, Chris Jericho says Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley seems to have devoted a lot of time and energy for a little while, and asks if Stephanie has a crush on her. She then says that if Stephanie were to comb out that rat's nest of a hairstyle she has, got a couple bottle of Clearasil and stopped being a filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, skanky bottom-feeding trash bag ho, then she could have a shot with him.

Val Venis and T&A (Test and Albert) beat Chris Jericho and The Hardy Boyz (Jeff and Matt Hardy) after Albert yanks Jeff Hardy off the top rope so that Trish Status can hit Jeff with one of her boots.

Backstage, Michael Cole interviews The Rock. The Rock says he looks forward to facing The Undertaker, but it is to do whatever he can to win the WWF Championship again, not simply because The Undertaker cost him the title.

Before the next match, Hardcore Holly tells Chris Benoit that everything could have been settled if he gave him a title shot and did it the easy way, but Benoit had to do it the hard way and give it to everyone else, including Jericho multiple times. He says that Benoit did not do it because he is scared of him, and while he admits there is no shame in being scared of him, he says that Benoit is "a typical Canadian" and a coward and that it will be a pleasure to kick his ass in "this worthless country of [his]" and give him what he deserves while he finally get what belongs to him: the WWF Intercontinental Championship. Benoit shows up and tells Holly that interfering in his matches, hitting him with a steel chair and insulting him and his country will give him Intercontinental gold, he is mistaken, and if he wants his attention, he's got it. He then says that now that Holly has gotten his big break, he will soon be able to tell everyone how he made his biggest mistake.

Hardcore Holly beats Chris Benoit by disqualification after Chris Jericho shows up, takes a steel chair that Hardcore Holly is introducing into the match out of his hands and proceeds to hit Holly in the head with it. Chris Benoit retains the WWF Intercontinental Championship. After the match, Benoit and Jericho are about to go at it, but Jericho ducks a steel chair shot from Holly and Benoit takes the chair from Holly and hits him with it before chasing him to the back. Jericho then takes the steel chair and chases Benoit to the back along with it.

Backstage, Kevin Kelly interviews The Undertaker, who says that he is no expert, but that it looks like The McMahon-Helmsley Regime has pissed somebody else. He has no beef with The Rock and admits he "kinda [digs] his stuff," but they both want the WWF Championship and "a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

Backstage, The McMahon-Helmsley Regime try to figure out who has been attacking them. WWF Chairman Vince McMahon says that Pat Patterson should be getting him coffee, then proposes putting the ice on the cake tonight after after everyone agrees that The Rock and The Undertaker being in a match against each other tonight is a good idea.

Bull Buchanan beats "The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman to qualify for the King of the Ring Tournament. After the match, The Big Boss Man attacks Al Snow with his nightstick, then does the same to Blackman. Blackman then manages to disarm The Big Boss Man and fight back, and he and Al Snow clear the ring.

Backstage, Pat Patterson is bringing coffee back to The McMahon-Helmsley Regime when he is grabbed from behind a door, dragged into the room and attacked.

Backstage, Edge and Christian confront Joe C for costing them the WWF Tag Team Championships, then put him in a trash can, strike the can with a steel chair and slam the trash can against a wall.

Before the next match, WWF Chairman Vince McMahon shows up and wants to know who between The Undertaker and The Rock attacked The McMahon-Helmsley Regime. Vince accuses The Rock first, then accuses The Undertaker. Both men deny it, and Vince thinks that one is lying and the other one is swearing to it, and because of this, Vince declares that their match will be a Lumberjack Match with members of The McMahon-Helmsley Regime as the lumberjacks alongside with T&A (Test, Albert, Trish Status), The Big Boss Man and Bull Buchanan. Instead of fighting each other, however, The Rock and The Undertaker fight the lumberjacks, but the lumberjacks get the upper hand. All of a sudden, Kane shows up for the first time in some time and fights them all off. Triple H tries to hit Kane with the WWF Championship, but Kane ducks and choke slams Triple H before holding up the WWF Championship - with The Undertaker and The Rock both looking at him - to end the show.