Nitro-Glycerin - Monday Nitro recap for May 22, 2000

A hearse and a limousine show up, and Vince Russo, Jeff Jarrett, David Flair and Miss Elizabeth walk out of it and head to the arena.

Earnest "The Cat" Miller beats Booker T in a weapons match. During the match, "The Perfect One" Shawn Stasiak get involved, but Booker T fends him off. Nevertheless, this allows The Cat to knock the steel chair in Booker T's hands into his head with a wheel kick to get the win. After the match, The Misfits In Action show up and take down Stasiak and The Cat, who are forced to retreat. Suddenly, Eric Bischoff and Kimberly show up, and Bischoff says he is here to address Booker T and The Misfits In Action. He mentions that some business took place last week that went very well, and says that they are one phone call away from changing the face of WCW and wrestling forever. Before that can happen, he wants to start tonight off with a clean slate, for it was never about Booker T and The Misfits, and they made a mistake. He states that all they have to do is join The New Blood and put everything behind them. Booker T and The Misfits come to a group consensus, and tells Bischoff to kiss their collective ass. Bischoff tells Booker T and The Misfits that they just signed their death warrants.

Sting, The Total Package, Diamond Dallas Page and Hulk Hogan are seen outside of the arena.

Backstage, Eric Bischoff tells Booker T and The Misfits In Action that if they want to embarrass him, then Booker T is fired.

Vince Russo, Jeff Jarrett, David Flair and rest of The New Blood make fun of the supposed end of "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair's career. Nearby is a casket containing one of Ric Flair's robes and a giant plastic nose.

Terry Taylor and "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair's young son Reid Flair are seen making their way into the arena.

Daffney shows up. She calls out Crowbar, saying he is acting like a baby and that she is the WCW Cruiserweight Championship. She asks him to come out to the ring so that they can handle this like two reasonable, mature adults. Crowbar shows up, and the next match starts.

Daffney beats Crowbar to become the undisputed WCW Cruiserweight Champion. During the match, Miss Hancock shows up and takes notes on the match. Later on, Chris Candido and Tammy Lynn Sytch get involved, and Daffney and Crowbar fight them off. Candido ends up hitting Crowbar with a Tombstone Piledriver on a steel chair after Crowbar keeps Tammy from hitting Daffney with the steel chair, however, and this allows Daffney to get the win.

The Kid Cam catches Torrie Wilson massaging Horace.

Outside of the arena, Booker T tells The Misfits In Action that he has a plan, and tells them to stay tuned next week. Meanwhile, "Screamin' Norman Smiley and Ralphus are washing cars for one dollar each.

Backstage, Kidman demands to know from Eric Bischoff where Horace is and finds out he is Horace is around the corner. He finds Torrie Wilson and confronts her for massaging Horace, telling her he will kick Horace's asss and telling her to go be the referee for the match. This gives Bischoff the idea of calling for a referee, beating him up, taking his referee's shirt and handing it ot Torrie as Kidman fights Horace backstage. This match then makes its way to the ring, and Bischoff guests on commentary.

Kidman beats Horace. During the match, Eric Bischoff announces that there will be a special guest referee for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship match at Bash at the Beach. Later on, Hulk Hogan shows up and yanks Kidman off the top turnbuckle before tossing him into Horace and a table. He then tells Torrie Wilson to make the count after placing Kidman on top of Horace, which Torrie reluctantly does. After the match, Hogan tells Bischoff that they were friends for a long time and that he used to think he was a pretty cool guy. He then tells Bischoff he can get any referee he wants, for he is "a little pissant" and he is going to kick Kidman's ass at Bash at the Beach to get a shot at the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. He then says there is nothing Bischoff can do about it before calling Bischoff "a piece of shit."

Backstage, Vince Russo, David Flair and Jeff Jarrett talk near the casket.

Backstage, Terry Taylor speaks with Reid Flair, asking him if he is all right with everything and that he is with him.

Outside of the arena, "Screamin'" Norman Smiley and Ralphus are trying to wash more cars. Suddenly, a low rider shows up, and The Filthy Animals are inside. Backstage, The Misfits In Action are watching what is going on and have a laugh.

Terry Funk shows up. He states that he has a long overdue announcement, and says that he has asked someone very important to be with him tonight: his daughter Brandy, whom he affectionately calls "Blue." He also states that his wife at home thinks that this announcement is way overdue. Backstage, Eric Bischoff commands the members of The New Blood that are with him to shut Funk's announcement down. As Terry Funk talks about how he told his family to watch Nitro tonight, "The Franchise" Shane Douglas and The New Blood show up, and Shane tells him to make the announcement as they have a live show to run. Terry Funk announces "It's boy!" and that he is officially a grandfather, much to the anger of Shane Douglas, who says that he couldn't give a damn about his family and that he and the fans are waiting for him to announce that he is retiring. After demanding that Funk announce he is retiring, Funk officially states that he is officially retiring on June 1st, and talks about how Brad Siegel cried when he found out that he is retiring. He then states that he is retiring on June 1, 2001 because Siegel extended his contract for one more year, again to the anger of Shane Douglas. Douglas then says that he is getting into the ring and retiring him right now, then runs into the ring with The New Blood, who begin to overpower Terry Funk. Suddenly, Brandy gets in the ring and pleads with Shane Douglas, but Shane puhses her down and Tammy Lynn Sytch proceeds to taunt her. as the rest of The New Blood hit Terry Funk with a piledriver on a steel chair before having a mock pinfall and handing the WCW Hardcore Championship to Shane Douglas. Afterwards, medical personnel shows up with a stretcher ready for Terry Funk.

Outside of the arena, The Misfits In Action distract "Screamin'" Norman Smiley and Ralphus so that they can replace Ralphus' water bucket with a bucket of something else.

We hear from Chris Kanyon, who says that he has not thought about wrestling anymore despite being relatively healthy throughout his career following his recent injuries, and says the question is if he will walk again and not when. He tells Mike Tenay that he still wants to wrestle, but for now, he is more concerned with getting out of bed and becoming healthy again.

"The Career Killer" Mike Awesome shows up in a wheelchair mocking Chris Kanyon's injuries, and asks if anyone has seen his nurses because he needs a sponge bath and he cannot locate them right now. He then gets out of the wheelchair and into the ring, then says that his name happens to '"Ironsides" Chris Kanyon," then makes fun of how he threw him off the top of the triple cage at Slamboree. As he calls out Diamond Dallas Page, The Wall shows up and the next match begins.

Mike Awesome beats The Wall after putting The Wall through a table, but The Wall immediately gets up and attacks Mike Awesome. Suddenly, "The Franchise" Shane Douglas shows up and hits The Wall from behind with a metal pipe, then he and Awesome take The Wall to the back to a waiting ambulance. There, Diamond Dallas Page comes out of the ambulance and attacks Mike Awesome with a steel chair, putting him in the ambulance as The Wall fights Shane Douglas.

Vince Russo and The New Blood are seen taking their casket to the ring. Chuck Palumbo removes Miss Elizabeth from the proceedings at the behest of Russo.

Backstage, "Screamin" Norman Smiley and Ralphus unwittingly "clean" The Filthy Animals' car with white paint.

Vince Russo and The New Blood make their way to the ring for a funeral for "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair's career. After footage of what happened to Ric Flair last Wednesday, then says this is all on the fans' heads for he tried to do the right thing in telling Ric Flair that he was "too damn old to compete." He then says that Ric Flair had a brain aneurysm, and that the only shame in all this is that David Flair could not retire his own father. He then says that he may suck, but he is the one with the World title. He then announces that he is handing the WCW World Heavyweight Championship back to "its proper owner" Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett says that "the man with all the stroke around the place" has proven that he is once again the chosen one. Russo then asks the fans to say that he has never had a heart, then pulls out a Rolex from his back pocket and states that he will bury the watch along with Ric's career. Russo then places the Rolex in the casket, then finds out that Kevin Nash has been hiding inside of it the entire time. Nash shoves Russo away, then gets in the ring and lays Jarrett out before taking the WCW World Heavyweight Championship with him.

Backstage, Vince Russo tells Kevin Nash that he has 45 minutes to give the WCW World Heavyweight Championship back to Jeff Jarrett or else they will take it back from him in a no-holds-barred match between Nash and Jarrett later tonight.

Scott Steiner shows up. He says it is always great to come back to the neighborhood, because Michigan is where he began to take his freaks to ecstasy and proved that he was the superman between the sheets at The University of Michigan. He then says that all his fans know that when the dark moon rises, the flip side of "the Big Bad Booty Daddy" comes out, and it is all about love, taste and touch. He then says it is no secret that he was born with a wild hair up his ass, and that his friends have told him that he lacks control and discipline and that he will end up in jail. He then says he has been through the cell and been through hell, but he has always survived, and from now on, wherever he goes, the cell goes, and hell goes with him. He then says that "the asylum" is above the ring, and the only way out is to say you quit. He then says there are two people face him: his brother Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott, whom he calls out. Rick Steiner shows up, and the next match begins as the asylum cage lowers to the ring.

Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner in an Asylum Match ends in a no-contest. During the match, Tank Abbott shows up with a pair of bolt cutters while mocking Goldberg's entrance and going by the name "Tankberg," and tries to cut through the asylum cage to no avail. He then attcks referee Mickey jay and grabs the control to raise the asylum cage, and he and Rick Steiner pound on Scott Steiner until Kevin Nash shows up. Nash gets in the ring and smacks Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott in the face with the World title, forcing them to retreat.

Backstage, Kevin Nash hits on interview Pamela Paulshock before telling Vince Russo that he is an easy man to find, and proposes that he and Jeff Jarrett face each other for the title.

Backstage, Terry Taylor talks with Reid Flair some more.

"The Main Event" Chuck Palumbo beats Diamond Dallas Page with the Torture Rack. During the match, Miss Elizabeth slaps Palumbo in the face, and shortly afterwards, Kimberly shows up and strikes Elizabeth in the back, distracting the referee. "The Career Killer" Mike Awesome shows up and hits him with the halo vest, allowing Palumbo to get the win. After the match, The Total Package shows up and checks on Elizabeth as Awesome and Palumbo take the boots to DDP, then tries to get in the ring only to be held back by Kimberly, allowing Palumbo to nail The Total Package in the face with a flexing bar. R&B Security take Elizabeth to the back, while EMTs put The Total Package on a stretcher.

EMTs check on The Total Package's bloodied face before getting him in the ambulance. Meanwhile, Kimberly tells Miss Elizabeth that she brought all of this upon herself.

Terry Taylor and Reid Flair show up. Reid calls out David Flair, who shows up with Daffney. Reid tells David that the family misses him, but David refuses to listen and Daffney smashes something into the back of Terry's head. Reid kicks David in the groin and puts him in a side headlock, but David nails him in the gut and shoves him to the mat before putting him in the Figure Four Leg Lock. Officials have to pull David off Reid.

Vampiro is in the new issue of WCW Magazine.

Vampiro beats Hulk Hogan after Kidman shows up and hits Hogan from behind with a blowtorch. After the match, Vampiro is about to pour gasoline on Hogan when Sting shows up and hits Vampiro with the Scorpion Death Drop.

Outside of the arena, The Filthy Animals attack "Screamin'" Norman Smiley and Ralphus for inadvertently painting their car, and The Misfits In Action fight off The Filthy Animals. When The Misfits notice that Ralphus is down, they order Major Gunns to give Ralphus mouth-to-mouth, but Major Gunns slaps Ralphus when he sticks his tongue out.

Before the next match, Vince Russo shows up with members of R&B Security and knocks out referee Billy Silverman, making himself the special guest referee.

Jeff Jarrett retains the WCW World Heavyweight Championship against Kevin Nash in a falls count anywhere match with Vince Russo as special guest referee. During the match, special guest referee Vince Russo sprays mace into Nash's eyes as he goes for a Jackknife Power Bomb, then Scott Steiner runs to the ring and fights Jarrett only to be maced by Russo and cuffed to the ropes on the outside by R&B Security. Nash forces Russo to count his pinfall by pinning to the mat, but when Jarrett kicks out, he wipes out R&B Security before getting his hands on Russo. As he is about to put Russo in a Jackknife Power Bomb, blood falls from the top of the arena (barely hitting him in the process), allowing Jarrett to hit Nash with a guitar and retain. After the match, Eric Bischoff says Russo and Jarrett are just too much, then says that Hulk Hogan and "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair will be gone for good on June 11th. He then tells Nash that if he thought this was an ass whipping, he hasn't seen anything yet. Russo then says "Bite us, baby!" Bischoff then asks Jarrett how it feels to be World Heavyweight Champion, and Jarrett says that he has once again proven that he is the chosen one.