Raw Deal - Raw recap for August 2, 1999

RAW

The Acolytes (Faarooq and Bradshaw) walk out to the ring as soon as the opening pyro is finished. Bradshaw calls out Big Show and The Undertaker, saying they will stay in the ring until they show up. He says that last night on Sunday Night Heat, The Undertaker had no idea what he started. Faarooq says that The Undertaker keeps talking about Armageddon, and says that the world might come to an end, but so will 'Taker and Big Show. Instead of getting Big Show or The Undertaker, they get Hardcore Holly instead. He tells The Acolytes to consider this their unlucky night, as they are not here yet, but he is. Bradshaw asks Holly which of The Acolytes gets to hand him his ass, but Holly wants both of them, and tells them to either "nut up or shut up" before getting in the ring. The Acolytes unsurprisingly destroy him.

Big Show, The Undertaker and Paul Bearer are seen entering the arena.

We see footage from earlier tonight where Terry Taylor interviewing Edge. Edge says Christian is his own flesh and blood, and he is in disbelief, hurt and heartbroken, but he is also angry. Christian has made his decision, and now he has to live with it.

Edge beats Gangrel in a Blood Bath Match. During the match, Gangrel grabs the bucket of blood, but the lights go out. When they come back on, Gangrel is covered in blood and Christian is standing over Gangrel. Edge and Christian embrace after the match.

WWF co-owner Shane McMahon and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin are seen entering the arena.

WWF co-owner Shane McMahon shows up. Shane reveals that he was at home last week watching WWF co-owner Vince McMahon make his last television appearance, seeing fit to walk off his own never to be seen on television again. He had hopes the fans would pay proper respect to Vince, saying he was deserving of a farewell party like that of Wayne Gretzky a better farewell than Michael Jordan, but instead Jim Ross sang him out of the arena. He says everyone is indebted to Vince in one way or another, as he made the WWF what it is today: the best-built brand in the sports entertainment world that is more recognizable than Disney or Time Warner; without him, there would be no WWF or anything that flourished because of it, especially "Ted Turner's WCW wrasslin'," nor their entire roster, which Vince created a long time ago. Now that Vince is gone, he will let the entire volcano of chaos erupt. In the meantime, he has been talking to Triple H, who guarantees that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin will jump out of his own body and watch Triple H pin him to win the WWF Championship in an out-of-body experience, guaranteeing that Triple H will live up to his promises. He then says The Corporate Ministry is free to do whatever they want to whomever they want until he deems it necessary to bring them back together, as he is focusing only on Test. He knows Test is backstage, and warns him again to stay away from his sister, WWF co-owner Stephanie McMahon. Test shows up and says he told Shane to stay out of his business once, but he didn't listen, and now he is making him and The Mean Street Posse (Rodney, Pete Gas, Joey Abs) his business. It started with Pete Gas last week, and it will continue with Rodney and Joey Abs until he gets to him. After that, all their problems will be gone, because Stephanie will be an only child.

Only 168 hours and 26 minutes until the new millennium!

Al Snow is seen with Head and the chihuahua that he met last week. He tells the chihuahua that Head - who no longer has a railroad spike driven through them - cannot fit down the toilet...although Head got a nice swirly.

"Road Dogg" Jesse James and Kane are seen heading to the ring backstage. Road Dogg is wondering if Kane is paying attention to anything that he is saying.

Before the next match, "Road Dogg" Jesse James may be dumber than a dog to get in the ring with Big Show and The Undertaker, but he's lean, he's neon green and he's got The Big Red Machine.

Big Show and The Undertaker beat "Road Dogg" Jesse James and Kane after Big Show stops a Tombstone Piledriver by Kane. Big Show splashes Kane after the match, then The Acolytes show up only to be attacked from behind with a baseball bat by Hardcore Holly. Holly then tells Big Show and The Undertaker that this is the last time he is saving them. As he heads to the back, The Acolytes chase after him.

The Rock is seen heading to the arena, punking out a fan and handing the guy carrying his bags a $700 tip. We then footage from yesterday in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where The Rock threw the first pitch for the Pittsburgh Pirates baseball team.

It is announced that there is a rumor that Jesse "The Body" Ventura will be on Raw next week.

"Bad Ass" Billy Gunn and Chyna show up. Billy Gunn says he has come here to talk about ass, and one in particular: "The People's Ass," The Rock. He says his ass is everything The Rock wishes his was: beautiful, elegant and well-manicured. Earlier today, he caught The Rock coming out of the shower and he took a picture of his ass so the fans can see it. We then see footage of a man's ass that is not The Rock's ass. He says the fans can either cheer that, or they can kiss his royal ass. Suddenly, The Rock shows up on the TitanTron, and says that's not his ass, and tells him that is video footage of Billy Gunn's "fat-ass mama." He also says that if he catches him and Chyna together, he will take a can of Diet Coke and a feminine napkin, turn the both sideways and stick them straight up their candy asses. He then says that if he hits Billy Gunn, he will kill him. If he misses, the wind behind the punch will give him pneumonia, and he will die anyway, so the choice is Gunn's. He then says that Billy Gunn now recognizes The Rock is the people's champ, the people's choice and the most electrifying man In sports entertainment today. (This is also the first time that the "la-la-la-la" after "smell" in "If you smell what The Rock is cookin'" is heard.

We see footage of D'Lo Brown getting "Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry to eat healthy to get his blood pressure down. Mark is unhappy about the lack of meat, butter or sauce.

WAR ZONE

D'Lo Brown retains the WWF European Championship and wins the WWF Intercontinental Championship against Jeff Jarrett to become the first man to hold both titles at the same time. During the match, it is announced that due to the disbanding of The Corporate Ministry, Viscera will take on The Big Boss Man in a Hardcore Match later tonight. Later in the match, referee Tim White is inadvertently knocked out as D'Lo Brown hits the Sky High, and Debra gets into the ring to distract D'Lo Brown. D'Lo takes the Intercontinental Championship off the mat and whacks Jarrett in the head with it, then wins the match to become a double champion. After the match, Jeff Jarrett and Debra argue, and Jarrett blames Debra for his loss tonight.

We see footage during the break where Terry Taylor interviews Jeff Jarrett, who says he is not Intercontinental Championship because of Debra, and tells her to get out. He tells D'Lo Brown he wants his rematch for the Intercontinental Championship at SummerSlam, saying Debra beat him and not D'Lo Brown.

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin is seen heading to the ring backstage.

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin shows up. He says he was sitting in the back last week when he heard what Triple H had to say about beating him at SummerSlam, and calls bullcrap on that and Triple H saying he knows Austin like the back of his hand. He says Triple H can come to SummerSlam with a PhD in his pocket or as the smartest man in the world, as he will still whip his ass. All of a sudden, Big Show and The Undertaker show up with Paul Bearer. The Undertaker says everyone knows Austin can talk the talk, but wants to know if he can walk the walk, and says that if he does not get a return match for the WWF Championship, he and Big Show will stomp a mudhole in his ass. They then attack Austin before he even has a chance to answer, then leave.

Michael Cole announces that he will interview "Stone Cold" Steve Austin about the attack on him by Big Show and The Undertaker following the next match.

The Big Boss Man retains the WWF Hardcore Championship against Viscera after pulling out his telescopic baton.

Michael Cole interviews "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, who tells The Undertaker that if he wants a rematch for the WWF Championship, he's got it. He also tells Big Show to get into the ring, too, as he has a can of whupass for both of them.

Triple H is seen backstage.

We see footage from during the break where Chyna tells Triple H that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin is defending the WWF Championship against The Undertaker tonight. Triple H does not take the news very well at all.

Rodney and Joey Abs assault test before Rodney vs. Test can begin.

Test beats Rodney after two elbow drops to the arm before putting him in a hammerlock submission. During the match, it is announced that The Undertaker vs. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin for the WWF Championship later tonight will be a no-holds-barred, anything goes match. After the match, Test puts Rodney's arm through a steel chair and stomps on the arm from the second rope. Joey Abs shows up, but Test still has the steel chair and Joey Abs thinks twice about stepping in the ring with him. Test then smashes Rodney's injured arm into the ring post with the steel chair before leaving.

Michael Cole interviews Triple H, and says that tonight, it is no longer Triple H's time and is instead The Undertaker's time. Triple H puts his hands on Cole and says that the WWF Championship match tonight will not be happening and that he is not walking into the building to find out his championship opportunity has slipped away.

Only 167 hours and 7 minutes until the new millennium!

Big Show and The Undertaker are seen talking backstage.

Before the next match, "The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman shows footage of him running over "The World's Most Dangerous Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock last week, and says that he did not know Shamrock was standing there when he backed up. He says he does not need a car to beat up Ken Shamrock and that he only needs he needs his hands and feet, hence why he is called "The Lethal Weapon." Val Venis then shows up and says "The Big Valbowski" and the Internet have a lot in common. They are both easy to get on, they both comes in many different languages and the only difference is that when you're done downloading The Big Valbowski, you will walk out funny but you will walk out virus-free.

"The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman vs. Val Venis ends with "The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock chasing Blackman all the way out of the ring, through the crowd and into the building with a chain in his hands. WWF head of security Jim Dotson - who has been seen in just about every episode of Raw so far in the Attitude Era - tries to subdue him, and referees end up holding Shamrock back just long enough with the help of Sgt. Slaughter for Blackman to get away. Shamrock manages to break out of their grasp, having already snapped.

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin is seen heading to the ring again backstage.

The Undertaker vs. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin ends before it can begin after Triple H gets in the ring as Austin makes his way to the ring, and tells The Undertaker that this match is not happening due to him being the #1 contender for the WWF Championship. He tells The Undertaker that if he wants Austin, he'll have to get through him, and says that he will beat kick Austin's ass for the WWF Championship. Austin gets in the ring and brawls with Triple H, and it is not long before Big Show and The Undertaker get involved. The Acolytes (Faarooq and Bradshaw) also get in the ring and fight The Undertaker along with Austin. Kane then gets in the ring and fights Big Show, and "Road Dogg" Jesse James shows up to fight Triple H, Hardcore Holly shows up and goes after The Acolytes, "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn runs in and goes after Austin, then The Rock runs in and goes after Billy Gunn. The brawling spreads out around the ring, and the show ends before Austin and Triple H can stare down.