Sunday, August 22, 1999

SummerSlam 1999 - The Results

Jesse "The Body" Ventura tells Triple H that he knows and has seen everything that can be done, and that Triple H is in his state now and he is law and order. Chyna can be at ringside, but if she interferes, she is out of there. Triple H tells Ventura that he can make all the rules that he wants, because he will break every single one of them. Ventura tells Triple H that if he starts breaking rules, he will not be WWF Champion.

Howard Finkel catches up with Chris Jericho after parking his car, and Jericho gives him a spiel about why he is here in the WWF and how he expects him to be on time and to be precise.

Jeff Jarrett sends Debra to the back before the next match. Debra then talks to D'Lo Brown as he makes his way to the match, and accompanies him instead.

Jeff Jarrett beats D'Lo Brown to become the WWF European and Intercontinental Champion at the same time, giving Jarrett his sixth Intercontnental Championship reign and his first European Championship reign while making Jarrett the second man to hold both belts at the same time. During the match, Jarrett is about to hit Debra with is guitar, and as referee Tim White is trying to hold both of them back, "Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry shows up and takes the guitar away from Jarrett only to smash into the back of D'Lo's head and give Jarrett the win. After the match, Mark Henry, Jeff Jarrett and Debra celebrate Jarrett's win.



Michael Cole interviews Edge and Christian in footage from earlier today. Edge says he and Christian have set their sights on the tag team titles, and they plan to go through all the other tag teams to become the #1 contenders. He says there is nobody better tos tart off against than The New Brood (Gangrel, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy). Christian says they got tired of following Gangrel's lead and living his life, and the fact of the matter is they outgrew him. He tells The Hardys and Gangrel to let the sideshow begin, and the blood that spews will be their own.

The Acolytes (Faarooq and Bradshaw beat The New Brood (Jeff and Matt Hardy), the team of Mideon and Visscera, the team of Droz and Prince Albert, the team of Edge and Christian, and the team of Harcore and Crash Holly in a Tag Team Turmoil Match to become #1 contenders for the WWF Tag Team Championships. Edge and Christian beat Mideon and Viscera after tricking Viscera into hitting Mideon with an avalanche splash. After the match, Hardcore and Crash almost fight each other agai.

Big Show and The Undertaker are seen entering the building.

Al Snow tends to and talks to Pepper, telling Pepper to calm down as he talks to Pepper much like he does to Head.

"Road Dogg" Jesse James shows up. He says there are two people backstage thanking God for pencils have erasers, as he has been figured out of the following Hardcore Match. Tomorrow night, he will face the winner of this match on Raw for the WWF Hardcore Championship. Suddenly, Chris Jericho shows up on a platform near the aisle, and says he is "the ayatollah of rock and rollah." He says that since this is a monumental occasion, being his first WWF pay-per-view appearance, he is disappointed as he did not think it was possible for WWF to top the tediousness of "Raw is Snore" with a rip-off of a pay-per-view that he calls "SummerSham." He says the worst part of it is that people got conned out of money and now look like a bunch of fools. He calls the list of matches full of "worthless performers" "boring," then says Road Dogg is the most boring of them all and that nobody cares about him due to the silent reaction that everyone is giving him right now - which is answered with cheers. He says that if Road Dogg thinks he can impress people - or himself - by spelling his own name, then he should spell "lugubrious." He says if "kickin' it Doggy Style" means wearing stupid clothes and sporting a Stevie Wonder hairstyle, he can count him out. He then says that the people do not realize that he is dyslexic, because when he says "suck it," he really means "it sucks," and says that D-Generation X (X-Pac and Road Dogg) sucks and that Road Dogg most definitely sucks. Jericho says that since he is here in the WWF, Road Dogg and all the boring dweebs in the locker room will never bore the people again. Road Dogg responds with "Why don't you shut up...bitch?" He also tells him his mama cares about it, and says he is scared to say the two words he ahs for him because he just might take him up on it: suck it. Road Dogg then briefly guests on commentary for the next match.

Al Snow tells Pepper that if he scared to go with him to the ring, then he can stay in the kennel. He then tells Pepper to just remember that Head went with him to the ring.

Al Snow sits at the middle of one of the cherry pickers lining the aisle before The Big Boss Man shows up for the next match. "Road Dogg" Jesse James then does commentary on a live mic for the rest of the next match. It is not long before The Big Boss Man finds the kennel with Pepper in it and tosses it aside (even though Pepper is not in there, if you pay attention to it long enough)

Al Snow beats The Big Boss Man in a restaurant to win the WWF Hardcore Championship after "Road Dogg" Jesse James, who is playing on-site commentary for the match, hits Boss Man with his own nightstick and Al Snow smacks Boss Man with some pool balls. After the match, Al Snow finds Stevie Richards and The Blue Meanie, and The Blue Meanie has Pepper in his hands. Al Snow fights both of them for putting their hands on Pepper.

Jesse "The Body" Ventura tells Mankind that he knows his style, but he has to get the pinfall in the center of the ring and that if he uses any weapons, he will not count it. Mankind then asks Ventura if he feels Geraldine Ferraro was vastly underrated as a Vice Presidential candidate. Ventura says "She might have been, but she's a bleeding heart liberal; c'mon."

Ivory retains the WWF Women's Championship against Tori. It is announced during the start of the match by Jerry "The King" Lawler that Pepper is safe and celebrating with Al Snow backstage. After the match, Ivory tries to tear Tori's clothes off, but Luna Vachon rushes in and chases Ivory to the back.

Michael Cole interviews The Rock, who proceeds to berate Michael Cole before before saying he does not care about "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn's surprises, that his fans will be cheering for him and that he will still be The People's Champ and The People's Choice.

"Bad Ass" Billy Gunn is bringing someone with a blanket wrapped around them through the kitchen backstage.

"The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock beats "The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman in a Lion's Den after knocking Blackman out with a Kendo stick.



Kevin Kelly tries to interview Test, who says that talking time is over as he heads to the ring. Test is seen with a bandage wrapped across his stomach.

Before the next match, The Mean Street Posse (Rodney, Pete Gas, Joey Abs) shows up and watches the next match from a couch in the front row.

Test beats Shane McMahon in a Greenwich Street Fight. During the match, WWF co-owner Stephanie McMahon is seen watching form backstage as Test throws Shane into The Mean Street Posse (Rodney, Pete Gas, Joey Abs), knocking the couch over. The Mean Street Posse retaliate by attacking Test and handing Shane weapons, such as a mailbox, a "Do Not Enter" sign and even a portrait of Shane with the Posse. Later on in the match, Test inadvertently boots the referee, knocking him down. This allows The Mean Street Posse to jump the guarrail and attack Test again, this time revealing that they are not even hurt in the process, allowing Shane to jump from the top rope to the commentary, nailing Test with an elbow drop on the way down. The Posse then have the referee distracted so they can place Test in the ring, then place Shane in there with him before reviving him with water. Shane goes for the pinfall, but Test gets the shoulder up in the nick of time. Pete Gas tries to hit Test with a handicapped parking sign, but he nails Shane instead, and Test goes for the cover before Joey Absl pulls Shane out of the pin. Rodney hits Test with the cast, and Shane gets his arm across Test only for Test to kick out again. Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco shows up ant take out Rodney and Pete Gas, and Test boots Joey Abs off the apron before finishing off Shane with the pump handle powerslam followed by a top rope elbow drop for the win. After the match, Stephanie runs into the ring to celebrate with Test.

Michael Cole interviews X-Pac and Kane. X-Pac says there hasn't been an ass-kicking that he hasn't taken and gotten up from. He says that he and Kane are closer than he and The Undertaker have ever been, claiming this to be the factor that makes Big Show and The Undertaker the underdogs tonight.

Big Show and The Undertaker beat X-Pac and Kane to become the WWF Tag Team Champions! This ends up being the first reign - and first WWF title - for Big Show and the third for The Undertaker.

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin walks away from Jesse "The Body" Ventura as he tells him that the pinfall for the WWF Championship must take place in the center of the ring.

"Bad Ass" Billy Gunn shows up with the person hidden underneath the blanket. This person is apparently wearing heels. He says he has a surprise for The Rock, and here it is. When he beats The Rock, he won't be kissing his ass; instead, he will be kissing the ass of the person underneath a blanket: a plus-size woman.

The Rock beats "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn in a Kiss My Ass Match after Billy Gunn brings the large woman into the ring to place The Rock's lips on her ass. The Rock fights back, and Mr. Ass ends up kissing her ass prior to the Rock Bottom and The People's Elbow.

Before the next match, Jesse "The Body" Ventura says there is a lot of media saying he is a disgrace for being here, but he is proud to have been a wrestler and proud to be here tonight.

Mankind beats "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and Triple H to become the WWF Champion for the third time in a Triple Threat Match with Jesse "The Body" Ventura as special guest referee. At one point in the match, Chyna gets ejected by Ventura for interfering, and at another point, Triple H hits both Austin and Mankind with with a steel chair, and Ventura refuses to count any pinfalls for him. Triple H confronts Ventura, and WWF co-owner Shane McMahon runs in to defend Triple H. Austin hits Shane with a Stunner, and Ventura tosses Shane out - both figuratively and literally - as he ejects him from the match, and tells Shane "That's for your old man, you little bastard!" Mankind ends up winning the match when Triple H hits Austin with a Pedigree only for Mankind to shove Triple H out of the way and hit Austin with the Double Arm DDT for the pinfall and the win. After the match, Triple H attacks Austin with a steel chair after Mankind leaves with Ventura. Chyna shows up and keeps a referee from trying to restore order as Triple H continues to assault Austin with the chair. After the chair assault it over, an angry Triple H forearms Sgt. Slaughter off the apron behore he and Chyna head to the back.

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