Raw Deal - Raw recap for August 16, 1999

RAW

We see footage of Chyna and Triple H entering the building individually from earlier today.

Triple H shows up. Tonight, he wants to put the focus right where it belongs: on the #1 contender who will face "Stone Cold" Steve Austin at SummerSlam, who is none other than Chyna. Chyna shows up and gets in the ring, and Triple H tells Chyna to bask in the glory and that is an honor to stand in the ring with her after all that they have been through, such as when Chyna qualified for the Royal Rumble Match and their limo was filled with flowers, and also when she qualified for the King of the Ring and he got her an emerald ring. He then says that the beauty of their relationship is that it goes both ways, as they have both given to each other, but he has never asked her for anything until now. He asks Chyna for a match, and whoever wins it becomes #1 contender for the WWF Championship at SummerSlam. Chyna thinks about if for a second, then says no. She tries to leave, but Triple H says he does not know what she is trying to prove, but he made her and he can break her. He says he made everything about her, and that nothing she has done would not be possible without him. Now that she wants to bite the hands that feeds her and screw him, he calls her "an ungrateful bitch," he tells her he is taking back what's his. Chyna tells Triple H to give it a shot, and that frankly, he does not have the balls to beat her.

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin is seen entering the building.

Chris Jericho is seen entering the building.

"Road Dogg" Jesse James beats Al Snow. Before the match, it is announced that Road Dogg is on the cover of the newest issue of WWF Magazine, and Al Snow hands Pepper off to Jerry "The King" Lawler on commentary. During the match, Road Dogg inadvertently knocks out referee Jimmy Korderas as he goes for the jabs on Al Snow, and The Big Boss Man hits both men with a nightstick as Korderas comes to. Road Dogg falls on top of Al Snow to get the win.

The Undertaker and Big Show are coming to the ring, and Chris Jericho checks himself in the mirror before heading towards the stage.

The Undertaker, Big Show and Paul Bearer show up. The Undertaker says that later on tonight, there will be a match for the tag team titles between the team of X-Pac and Kane and The Acolytes (Faarooq and Bradshaw), and the winner of that match will come face-to-face with him and Big Show. To make sure that his man was right, he put him to the test this week and had Paul Bearer call out to the San Fernando Valley in California to some associates in the Local 81 for two bikes for a ride into the desert. The associates were concerned at first, as they knew he would handle it, but had their doubts about Big Show. This was being in order to see if he can survive in the desert, with enough gas to make it to the middle of the desert - where only the cold-blooded can survive - but not make it back. The Undertaker asked Big Show how he will survive when it is 120 degrees in the middle of the desert, and Big Show told him that he will wait until he goes to sleep, stab him in the back, make a coat out of his flesh and eat his flesh until he finds food. The Undertaker said that was a good answer, but said he does not sleep, and dropped him off in the middle of the desert and left him in the outskirts of the desert. Two days later, he walks out with a snake necktie and lizard boots on, carrying his Harley-Davidson on his shoulder. He says what is called SummerSlam will soon be known as Armageddon, and whoever shows up will be hurt. All of a sudden, Chris Jericho shows up, welcomes everyone to "Raw Is Jericho," and says that what is going on right now is what he was talking about last week. He calls The Undertaker and Big Show "giant slugs" and says they have forced the crowd to drift off into their own little world, oblivious to them and what they are saying after three or four minutes. He says they could not string two intelligible worlds together, and he was forced to save this segment, as he considers them a "personificiation of boredom" rather than a personification of evil. The only thing he finds scary about them is the amount of TV time they get, which forces people to pick up the remote and change the channel, looking for a hero. He tells them to stop changing the channel for their hero has arrived, and he is here to save the WWF. He is a man who is entertaining and exciting enough to bring WWF back to prominence and bring the money back, and says "Raw is Snore" is dead and buried and long live "Raw is Jericho." Now that "the Y2J problem" is here, this company - from the front office to the dressing room to "the two idiots in the ring" - will never, ever be the same again. The Undertaker says he does not know who he is or who he thinks he is, but judging by his facial hair, he's had more shower time than Jericho has had ring time. He warns Jericho that if he ever decides to interrupt him again, it will be his last time and that is a promise.

Chris Jericho is seen talking to ring announcer Howard Finkel about why he is here in the WWF: to save everyone's jobs.

Chyna beats Triple H to remain #1 contender for the WWF Championship at SummerSlam after Mankind - who has not been seen in three months - attacks Triple H outside of the ring with the steel steps. After the match, Mankind goes after Triple H for injuring his knee with a sledgehammer and chases him to the back. Mankind then goes back into the ring and grabs a microphone, and tells Chyna that there has always been a vague sexual tension between them, he is putting that aside and challenging Chyna to a match for #1 contendership later tonight if Chyna has "the ovariological fortitude." After Mankind gets on the middle turnbuckle and raises up the microphone to get a reaction, Chyna hits Mankind with a low blow and says "In case you don't get it, that means no." Chyna heads to the back, but she is stopped by WWF Commissioner "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels. Shawn tells her that the last thing he wants to do is piss her off, because it seems to him that every man who gets her mad gets their balls punched so far up to their throat that they choke on them. However, he has a special place in his heart for Mankind, and if he wants a shot at #1 contendership, he shall receive. He makes Chyna vs. Mankind to determine a #1 contender at SummerSlam again official for later tonight.

Michael Cole is seen waiting outside of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's locker room.

Test beats "The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman by disqualification . WWF co-owner Shane McMahon shows up shortly after the match begins, and hands Blackman a kendo stick. Referee Teddy Long calls for the bell before Shane backhands him, and "The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock goes after Blackman as he attacks Test only to be smacked with the Kendo stick by Shane. Shamrock goes after Shane, but Blackman gets the better of him before he and Shane smack Test in the ribs with the Kendo stick.

Michael Cole interviews "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, who says that nobody bounces a cinder block without getting payback, and everyone in the locker room is on his list. As for SummerSlam, it does not matter who is #1 contender for the WWF Championship as long as he has an opponent, as he has no friends in the locker room, anyway.

The Rock is seen entering the building.

WAR ZONE

X-Pac and Kane retain the WWF Tag Team Championships against The Acolytes (Faarooq and Bradshaw). The Undertaker, Big Show and Paul Beraer are seen watching from the stage during the match. After the match, The Acolytes lay out both Kane and X-Pac.

Hardcore Holly tells someone behind a door to only come out when he tells him to.

The British Bulldog is returning to action in the WWF soon.

Michael Cole is waiting backstage for Mankind.

Hardcore Holly shows up. He says the WWF has finally done it to him, and they have backed him into a corner, which is something he does not like. He has taken it upon his "super heavyweight self" and gotten another super heavyweight. He introduces "the newest super heavyweight of the World Wrestling Federation," his cousin, Crash Holly. A slightly smaller guy who looks somewhat like Hardcore Holly shows up, and is even wearing the same trunks as Hardcore Holly. Crash takes the microphone, and addresses Big Show and The Undertaker, but Hardcore Holly takes the microphone away before he can finish. Hardcore tells Crash the same thing he tells everyone else - to either nut up or shut up - regardless of whether he is family or not. Crash tells him not to start something he can't finish, but Hardcore tells him he finishes everything he starts and proceeds to give him a beatdown. Both Hollys fight each other and take their brawl into the crowd.

Michael Cole interviews Mankind, who tells him that he picked a fine time to return to the World Wrestling Federation. Mankind tells him he picked a fine time to get some revenge, and if Triple H wants to stick his nose in his business, he'll knock it off. He doesn't want to hit Chyna, but he is okay with sticking a sock in her mouth. He tells Chyna to bring her ovaries while he brings "his guys" and they will see who the #1 contender for the WWF Championship is.

Triple H is seen being restrained by referees and officials who are keeping him from approaching the ring before the next match. However, it is not long before they overpower him. Triple H's presence distracts Chyna, who is pinned to the mat with the Mandible Claw. Mankind beats Chyna to become #1 contender for the WWF Championship, and Triple H goes after Mankind as referees try to pull Triple H. Chyna pulls Mankind off Triple H, and Triple H attacks Mankind's recently healed knee before he and Chyna put the boots to him. Referees and officials are keeping Mankind, Chyna and Triple H away from each other, and WWF Commissioner "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels has to get in the ring to direct traffic before announcing that Mankind is officially the new #1 contender. Suddenly, WWF co-owner Shane McMahon shows up, saying he's taken care of one personal problem and that he now has to take care of another. He says he promised he would stay out of his business as long as he is #1 contender, but now there is a conspiracy against Triple H being #1 contender, he is making a match between Triple H and Mankind for later tonight to determine an undisputed #1 contender. He has also appointed himself special guest referee for that match. Shawn tells Shane to hold up, telling him he doesn't have to tell him he is the owner of the WWF. However, he has as much stroke as Shane. He makes the match official, but it will be a no-holds-barred, falls count anywhere match. He also makes himself the second special guest referee for the match to "make sure Shane doesn't get lonely in the ring."

Hardcore and Crash Holly are seen fighting each other on top of an 18-wheeler outside of the arena. (Crash Holly can be heard saying "You okay?", to which Hardcore Holly replies "I'm fine" after a body slam.)

Triple H talks to WWF co-owner Shane McMahon, who tells him that all he has to worry about is taking out Mankind and #1 contendership for the WWF Championship will be his.

"Bad Ass" Billy Gunn shows up. He says that there has been a great tragedy, as he has had an allergic reaction to an herbal ass treatment, and now his ass is scarred. He says he is handicapped and imperfect, but despite this great tragedy, he will still be at SummerSlam and The Rock's face will look a lot worse than his ass. Then, The Rock shows up and tells Billy Gunn that he will suffer from a severe case of diarrhea because he is "one big chickenshit," and before his match, he will be behind the curtain and his music will start - "Oh, I'm an asshole" - and he will stand in the middle of the ring surrounded by silence. His music will then hit and 20,000 Rock fans will stand on their feet and notice him, and he will get in the ring and lay the smack down on Billy Gunn's candy ass. As for Mr. Ass' ass, he brings out a woman in a dress, who happens to be the same masseuse who placed the herbal treatment on Billy Gunn's ass. He then reveals that the "Oriental ass leaves" was "The People's poison ivy." The masseuse leaves, but not before The Rock asks her if she likes pancakes and where she is from, then tells her to "pancake [her] ass back to Chicago[, Illinois]." Billy Gunn then lunges on the turnbuckle as The Rock says he could either take the biggest bottle of calamine lotion, pour out all the lotion, replace it with monkey piss, turn the bottle sideways and stick it up straight up his candy ass...or he can walk down the ramp, find some jabroni to hold his glasses (and has a photographer hold his glasses), embarrass him on national television (by telling him it doesn't matter how he's doing it), get in the ring and check him directly into the Smackdown Hotel. Gunn strikes at The Rock, but The Rock sends him over the top rope and the two men brawl at ringside. Billy Gunn ends up finding a Kendo stick and knocks The Rock out before saying "If you smell-la-la-la-la what Mr. Ass is cooking" and pressing The Rock's lips to his ass.

Michael Cole interviews The Rock, who says "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn has been begging him to make him famous, and now his dream is coming true. In six days, he will make Gunn's roody poo candy ass famous by beating his ass in front of his fans. After he beats his ass, he will make him get on his knees and kiss his ass.

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin guests on commentary for the next match.

Mankind vs. Triple H in a no-holds-barred, falls county anywhere match with Shane McMahon and Shawn Michaels as special guest referees ends in a double cover after Triple H suplexes Mankind into a steel chair to break out of the Mandible Claw. Both men have an arm on top of each other, and Shane counts the pinfall for Triple H while Shawn does the same for Mankind. Both Shane and Shawn argue over who is the undisputed #1 contender for the WWF Championship at SummerSlam, and other referees show up to see what is going on. Ring announcer Tony Chimel announces that both men have won and are #1 contender for the WWF Championship, and the WWF Championship match at SummerSlam with Jesse "The Body" Ventura as special guest referee will be a Triple Threat Match between Mankind, Triple H and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. Austin attcks Shane, Mankind attacks the referees before going after Triple H, and referees have to separate Triple H and Mankind, who attack each other as well as any other referees or officials who get into the ring to restore order. Austin watch es fro the stage as the show ends.