Nitro-Glycerin - Monday Nitro recap for March 8, 1999

(Author's note: Of all the episodes, this is the absolute worst so far. Thankfully, Wrestlecrap and slashwrestling is here to dull the pain.)

We see welders making a steel cage with barbed wire at the top (a reference to the WCW World Heavyweight Championship match at Uncensored). Someone burns the letters "WCW" into the steel.

We see "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson's conversation with WCW President "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair concerning David Flair from last week's Thunder.

We see The Nitro Girls at the Nitro Party at Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island.

Riki Rachtman is at the Nitro Party at Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island. Doug Kazarian is the winner of a trip to the Spring Break-Out Nitro at Club La Vela in Panama City, Florida.

We get a closer look at AC Jazz.

We see a black-and-white vignette of Hollywood Hogan talking about his son Nick hating him. Hogan then talks about how everyone hates him now after going from 15 years of taking vitamins and saying prayers to founding the New World Order. Hogan says he is used to the comments, jealously and being viewed as anything other than a good person, and says that when WCW President "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair expresses his love for wrestling and the fans, Flair is worse than he is and "a rotten piece of crap at the bottom of the barrel." He says that Flair did not even react to losing his son David to the New World Order and carrying on like he normally would, and says he is the most rotten human being on the face of the earth. Now that he knows Flair for what he is, the only thing important in Flair's life is the World title, and the total control of the wrestling business that he thinks he created just to feed his ego, control the business from top to bottom and stay on top forever. Hogan wants Flair to quit the wrestling business and never come back. At the same time, he also wants Flair at the best he has ever been. In order to do that, he has to promise Flair total control of WCW as long as he is alive if he wins - something that Eric Bischoff has given him the power to say and do. Flair will not only be fighting for the fans and the title, but for the piece of him that is greedy that desires what he has always wanted. Hogan says he will take him, beat him and bury his soul one last time, and Flair will be fighting him as hard as has ever been as he is fighting for control, but if Flair loses, he will never be seen again. Hogan then goes on about how Flair has a huge ego and wants to be Ric Flair until the day he dies, and how he hated Flair so much that it made him feel invincible again and realize that he is the best wrestler there is in the business.

We go back to the Nitro Party at Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island. Konnan is seen at the party, and then his new music video is played again.

We see another black-and-white nWo vignette where Hollywood Hogan and Kevin Nash are sitting on a couch, watching last week's interview with WCW "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair, saying that Ric Flair would rather be Ric Flair than be a father. They also proceed to make fun of Flair any chance they get as Hogan tells Nash that Flair is a bad father. Kevin Nash and Hollywood Hogan then agree that they will have to regroup as far as David Flair being in the nWo is concerned, as Flair shows no reaction to his son David being part of it.

We see a black-and-white vignette for Lex Luger that is simply clips of Luger in the ring devoid of color while the Wolfpac music plays.

Meanwhile, in Boston, Massachusetts, the police pull over a WCW Monday Nitro hummer that is swerving all over the road. Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell are inside, and they are asked to step out of the vehicle. The two policemen give them ticket books to see if they can give them some quality police work. They bust people for smoking in the mall, not putting money in the parking meter (and shaking a guy by the legs for loose change), and littering (after Scott Steiner pulls the trash can away from a guy trying to use it). They return to the precinct, hand in the ticket books, and are free to go afterwards.

Riki Rachtman plugs Domino's Pizza while the fans dance with Konnan and some of The Nitro Girls. Kidman shows up with the WCW Crusierweight Championship and talks about Rey Mysterio Jr. having brought exposure to the Cruiserweight division with his match against Kevin Nash at SuperBrawl IX.

We see a video package of the recent events that have taken place between Rey Mysterio Jr. and Kevin Nash.

We see another black-and-white nWo vignette where Hollywood Hogan, Kevin Nash and Torrie Wilson are at a shooting range. Torrie Wilson is seen shooting at a target with a pistol with eye and ear protection on, and most of her shot hit the center. Nash and Hogan tell Torrie they need to regroup and come up with a new plan regarding WCW President "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Nash tells Torrie that he and Hogan will meet her at dinner.

We see yet another black-and-white nWo vignette where Hollywood Hogan, Kevin Nash and Torrie Wilson are having dinner. Hogan says everything is cool, even if they are all a little upset, as they have the belt, David Flair where they want him, and WCW President "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. All he needs now is to give Flair another embarrassing beating and nobody will believe a word of what Ric Flair and Flair will be done. Torrie Wilson says that she knows a girl who is hotter than her when it comes to what to do with David Flair, which Nash simply calls "Plan B." The girl - named Deniece - shows up, and Nash and Hogan are impressed. Deniece says she is up to the task, and says her last name is Robinson (as in "Mrs. Robinson" by Simon and Garfunkel). We find out that Deniece will be paid $20,000 to seduce David Flair, and Deniece says she will be able to pull it off.

We finally get to see the Nitro title sequence, and we finally see an arena, a crowd and a wrestling ring. (Not counting commercials, this took 41 minutes and 39 seconds. Otherwise, it takes 59 minutes - barely an hour. As promos fill up the entire first hour of the show, the live crowd was treated to four dark matches, none of which were recorded for television.)

"Mean" Gene Okerlund is about to interview Goldberg when David Flair shows up with Torrie Wilson. David says that WCW President "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair has been dragging out their problems all week, and that he is out here to talk to him like a man. Torrie says that they will wait until Ric shows up, and that she and David will not be undressing in the ring or handcuffing themselves to the ring. Suddenly, Goldberg's music hits.

After the commercial break, Goldberg shows up. Goldberg tells David Flair he has a lot of respect for his family, and because of that, he will not take care of the situation like he normally would. Nevertheless, David has a few lessons to learn, most notable respect for his father "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair, who has done more for wrestling than ten people could do. Goldberg tells David he has no respect for him, and that this is his interview time and he has no business anywhere with him. David pokes Goldberg in the chest and mouths off at him, and Goldberg pins him to the corner. Ric Flair rushes into the ring and pulls Goldberg off of him, and chops him to no effect. David Flair and Torrie Wilson run away, and Goldberg gorilla press slams Ric Flair. Ric Flair wants to know who Goldberg thinks he is, and reminds him that he is not only WCW President and the greatest wrestler of all time. Goldberg tells Flair that he is not only a man who has not only lost his family, but also his mind. Flair goes on about how he will become a world champion for the 14th time, and Goldberg tells Flair he has not only lost his mind, but as of tonight, he has stepped over the line. Flair says he is the line, rolls around the ring, and tells Goldberg that he is wrestling him tonight, and that he can make it official since he is WCW President. Goldberg immediately accepts, and tells Flair if this is the last mistake he wants to make, he's got it.

After 50 minutes and 20 seconds (not counting commercials), Nitro has its first televised match of the night: a hardcore match between Raven and Hak. Both men embrace, then start pounding on each other to start the match.

Raven vs. Hak in a hardcore match ends in a no-contest after Bam Bam Bigelow shows up and attacks both Raven and Hak on the stage. However, it is announced that the match is now continuing with Bigelow as a part of the match under Raven's Rules. Even though the match continues, nobody ends up winning, the brawl between the three men from last week is replayed, and the show goes to commercials.

The opening scene of the welders making the barbed wire steel cage is replayed.

Before the next match, Chris Jericho shows up wearing a dog collar connected to another dog collar with a chain. He then pretends to talk about Saturn wearing a dress and challenging him to a Chain Match. He says he is a master of the Chain Match, saying he has trained with the yogis in Nepal in preparation for this day. He also says he is "the swami of the Dog Collar Chain Match," and tells the Jerichoholics in the arena and at home that he will make Lizmark Jr. put the collar on to become the first in his "chain of fools." Lizmark puts his collar on, as does Jericho.

Chris Jericho beats Lizmark Jr. in an impromptu Dog Collar Chain Match with the Lion Tamer.

Before the next match, Scott Steiner calls the crowd "a bunch of genetically deficient scumbags who are a disgrace to the human race" and "pencil-necks that go to the gym and pump a little iron in the hope they look as good as [he does]" who should throw away their gym memberships and watch him do what he does best on the couch. Scott says there is nobody who can duplicate "the greatest peaks in the world" because he is a genetic freak. Buff Bagwell then gets on the microphone and says he has tried to talk sense into Booker T and tell him to cancel his match against Scott Steiner tonight, but Booker T has refused to cancel the match and will therefore get what he deserves.

Scott Steiner retains the WCW World Television Championship against Booker T with the Steiner Recliner after Steiner grabs referee Johnny Boone by the neck, allowing Buff Bagwell to topple Booker T off the top rope. Booker T is sent into unconsciousness with the Steiner Recliner, and the referee calls for the bell. After the match, Scott Steiner smashes a steel chair into the back of a downed Booker T.

We see a performance by The Nitro Girls.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Jerry Flynn backstage. Flynn will be facing Sonny Onoo and Ernest "The Cat" Miller at Uncensored. Onoo shows up, apologizes for last week, and tries to bribe him onto his side. Flynn grabs Onoo and shoves him back only to be kicked in the back of the head by The Cat. Onoo take a pair of scissors and cuts off Flynn's ponytail.

Rey Mysterio Jr. beats Scott Norton by kicking him in the gut after Norton pulls him out of a pinfall twice.

We see another performance by The Nitro Girls.

The footage of the barbed wire steel cage being made is played yet again, this time interspersed with words spoken by WCW President "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair from last week.

Bret "The Hit Man" Hart beats Van Hammer with the Sharpshooter, then proceeds to attack the legs of Van Hammer with a steel chair after the match.

Hollywood Hogan and Kevin Nash show up. Instead of heading to the ring, they head to the commentary table. Mike Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan immediately leave the table and are replaced by Hogan and Nash.

The footage of the creation of the barbed wire steel cage is shown a fourth time.

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair vs. Goldberg ends in a no-contest when the nWo come out from the crowd and attack both men.