Recapping American wrestling since 2013. Not only following the current stuff in WWE, Impact and ROH but also going back in time and doing stuff from back then as well.
Jonny Loquasto in the ring to start this week's show. He says that the Red Carpet Rumble is coming and that the winner will receive a guaranteed opportunity at the UWN World Championship, then introduces Jordan Cruz, who has now held the title for a full calendar year, to the ring. Jordan Cruz yanks the microphone out of Loquasto's hand and berates the fans, then says the Red Carpet Rumble has nothing to do him and that he has handled his business. He also says that if Che Cabrera sticks his nose in his business again, he will rip it off his face.Che Cabrera shows up and heads to the ring, then yanks the microphone out of Cruz's hand and reminds Cruz that he stuck his nose "all up in [his] meat," and if he wanted a fight, all he had to do was ask. He says that Cruz talks trash about his opponents, but this is different because he is in Cruz's face and he is "the meat that you can't beat." Loquasto makes it official that Jordan Cruz will defend the UWN World Championship against Che Cabrera at Red Carpet Rumble. Che offers to shake Cruz's hand, but Cruz laughs and has a staredown with him after he pulls him forward. Jordan Cruz then tries to hit a cheap shot on Che Cabrera, but it has no effect and he quickly runs out of the ring.
Delirium (Slade and McCalleon) beats DREtino (DRE and Kid Destino) (This is the Delirium debut of Buck Skynyr, who now wears a half-white, half-black mask with an uppercase D on the center of the forehead and goes simply by "Skynyr".) After the match, Skynyr choke slams DRE on the ring apron on the outside.
Backstage, we hear from Delilah Doom, who has finally arrived in Championship Wrestling. She says she is taking over the women's division, and no matter who she faces in the ring, she will run circles around them, because "Doomies never say die."
Bad Dude Tito beats Angel Verduzco. After the match, Tito says it is Red Carpet Rumble season, and that he cannot think of a better way to celebrate than winning the Rumble and cashing in his title shot. Regardless of who he faces, he is here for his legacy, and he will see everyone at the Rumble.
Delilah Doom beats Candy Girl.
5150 (Danny Limelight and Slice Boogie) beat Mariachi Montaña (Juli and Ro Montaña). After the match, Danny Limelight berates the fans for living in Oxnard, California because they are too broke to live in the better parts of California, then says he is happy 5150 are not coming back because he cannot stand them. He then says that 5150 are defending the UWN Tag Team Championships against Will Allday and Cam Clarke, and says that when they are stepping into the bodega for a beatdown regardless of how good they are. Slice Boogie mocks a nearby table for having twelve beers, then says that 5150 is the best tag team in the country.
We hear from "Poppin'" EJ Sparks, who says that today is the day that he gets his rematch against "One in a Million" Maximilien for the Heritage Championship. He says that he has heard what Jordan Castle has had to say, then says his neck is at 100%, which means he is at 100%. Sparks says that he will not be sent packing after spending time winning championships elsewhere, and that nothing will stop him from winning the UWN Heritage Championship back.
5150 (Danny Limelight and Slice Boogie) beat Jake Redondo and Joey Lancaster. After the match, Danny Limelight mocks the fans, saying they boo 5150 because they do not know any better despite seeing the best tag team there is. He also says that 5150 has turned away all challengers for the tag team championships, and says that with or without the fans, they have the gold, no matter who they face next. Slice Boogie also mocks the fans, who he says can kiss 5150's asses, then tells United Wrestling Network to stop sending little kids to fight grown men's battles and send them real tag teams and the best in the country for they are the best in the country.
Carma beats Brittnie Brooks after Slade distracts the referee so that McCalleon can trip Brittnie Brooks on the outside.
Backstage, David Marquez interviews "Outlandish" Zicky Dice. Zicky says it is great to be back, then says that Marty The Moth and Shane Hartline have turned the place into a circus while injuring him, then says that Marty "slaps like a bitch" and that he plans to get his hands on Marty and Hartline. He says that Hartline's comedy show is now turning into desperation to get into the business, then says he is like a hemorrhoid and that he is not leaving the business. Zicky then says that if Powerslap does not settle it, then he will settle it here. On the subject of a slap match against Marty, Zicky says he is up for it and says that Marty will not be winning twice and that Marty will leave with broken bones in his face. Zicky then says that he has unfinished business and that he will be slapping both Marty and Hartline at Red Carpet Rumble in August.
Backstage, Vincent Troy interviews Jordan Cruz, who says that he hopes to put The Epic, who he calls "a dumpster fire," behind him. Cruz says that while The Epic has had a taste of the main event spotlight while riding his coattails, he will give him the full experience before taking it all away next week.
"One in a Million" Maximilen retains the UWN Heritage Championship against "Poppin'" EJ Sparks. During the match, Jordan Castle gets ejected after the referee catches him slapping Sparks in the face on the outside. Later in the match, Maximilen locks in Maxx Factor, but inadvertently sandwiches the referee into the corner, knocking him out. Sparks is able to hit the Plus Ultra, but the referee is down and no count can be made. Jordan Castle comes back, and as Sparks is about to hit Castle, Mathias suddenly shows up and carries Castle to the back. Sparks goes for another Plus Ultra, but Maximilen counters with a low blow before hitting Le Levesque (which is the Pedigree) to win and retain.
We hear from 5150 (Danny Limelight and Slice Boogie), who address The Krusty Krew's (Dom Kubrick and Lucas Riley) challenge, saying they have been running their mouths and that Lucas Riley was lucky when he won. Danny Limelight says they will beat The Krusty Krew twice and keep their titles.
5150 (Danny Limelight and Slice Boogie) retain the UWN Tag Team Championships in a two-out-of-three falls match, two falls to one (2-1), against The Krusty Krew (Dom Kubrick and Lucas Riley). The Krusty Krew score the first fall with an inside cradle from Riley to Slice after Dom Kubrick stops a double-team vertical suplex. 5150 score the second fall by count-out after Limelight gets in the ring before the ten count while Slice keeps Riley from getting back in the ring before the ten count. With Limelight and Riley as the legal men for their team at the time, 5150 score the second fall. 5150 score the third and deciding fall with a top rope foot stomp-Death Valley Driver combo on Dom Kubrick.
Backstage, Jonny Loquasto interview The Wolf Zaddies (Che Cabrera and Bad Dude Tito). Bad Dude Tito is not happy about the loss to Fly Def in the Sunday Night Slam pre-show and wants to take on Javi in this week's show alone. A reluctant Che Cabrera agrees.
Mac Daddy Mylo beats Alex Gracia by submission with the crossface.
Backstage, Fidel Bravo calls out "Main Evant" Evan Daniels for stealing a Television Championship victory from him, but he was ready for it, and next week, he has a chance to take Daniels and one of his goons on with Ray Jaz as his tag team partner.
We hear from 5150 (Danny Limelight and Slice Boogie) at the start of the show. Danny Limelight says that The Wolf Zaddies (Che Cabrera and Bad Dude Tito) are talking crazy, with Bad Dude Tito just having returned and Shane Haste having just left, and that the tag team division is in trouble now that Slice Boogie is back. He is glad that The Wolf Zaddies want to face them for the tag team titles while they themselves have not been pinned in four years. Slice says The Wolf Zaddies are second best while they are the first, and while The Wolf Zaddies have the muscles, they get outsmarted every time, as 5150 always get the job done.
Buck Skynyr beats Chris Nasty after grabbing Nasty by the throat upon Nasty hitting a top rope splash.
We see footage of a man in what looks like a mental institution. A nurse looks at a file for Richie Slade and another for Flex McCallion. It appears that Delirium (Slade and McCallion) is in an institution for therapy.
Jordan Castle heads to the ring. He calls the boos he receives music to his ears, and says that everything he has said has come to pass for he is a prophet and not a manager. He says that "One in a Million" Maximilien has become a god while turning Championship Wrestling on its axis. Jordan Castle then introduces Maximilien to the ring. Maximilien heads to the ring, then Jordan Castle pulls out a bottle of wine before Mathias shows up in a suit and tie. Jordan Castle brings up Maximilien destroying Mathias in what was Maximilien's second match, and says Mathias should only be in the ring to give Maximilien a gift. Mathias says things have changed in the last year and that he has racked up win after win since then, and he is here to face the biggest, the baddest and the best. Mathias then says he wants Maximilien next. Jordan Castle tells Mathias that Maximilien beat him in four minutes, which is how long his cup of coffee in the business has lasted. Mathias and Maximilien stare down, and Jordan Castle then says he will consider a title shot for Mathias.
Backstage, we hear from Brittnie Brooks, who is back to throw her hat in for the UWN Women's Championship, and next week, she will beat Vipress and the whole world will know "It's Brittnie, bitch."
5150 (Danny Limelight and Slice Boogie) retain the UWN Tag Team Championships against The Wolf Zaddies (Che Cabrera and Bad Dude Tito). During the match, Limelight's legs hit the ref in the head as Bad Dude Tito go for Bapint It Black. Tito is able to make Limelight tap out, but the ref is down, and Slice Boogie uses one of the tag team titles as a weapon against The Wolf Zaddies. Limelight then hits Tito with a low blow for the pin and the win to retain.
Michael Mistretta beats Bobby Fish by referee stoppage after Bobby Fish is injured during the match.
We receive a video from Hope R. of UWN Human Resources. Keynote Kevin shows up during the video and says the business deal is moving forward, and that he will be appearing on Gotham Wrestling in a match against Dan Joseph.
Amity LaVey beats Vanity.
"One in a Million" Maximilien vs. "Poppin'" EJ Sparks for the UWN Heritage Championship is replayed.
We hear from Richard Holliday, who announces that he is making his debut in Gotham Wrestling. He wants whoever steps up to bring their A-game.
5150 (Danny Limelight and Slice Boogie) retain the UWN Tag Team Championships against Ray Jaz and "The Greek God" Papadon. During the match, Papadon tries to use the ropes for leverage on a pinfall attempt, but Ray Jaz refuses to let him do that. Papadon shoves Ray Jaz when Ray Jaz confronts him about, causing Ray Jaz to collide with the referee, knocking down. Shortly after this, Papadon tries to use one of the tag team titles as a weapon, but Ray Jaz stops him from doing it and refuses to do it himself. Slice Boogie shoves Ray Jaz into Papadon while Ray Jaz still has the championship in his hands, causing Ray Jaz to inadvertently blast Papadon with the front plate of the title, and 5150 retains. After the match, Papadon turns on Ray Jaz and attacks him behind his back.
We hear from Rob McKnight, who is about to mention what G.U.N.K. means when Casanova Valentine shows up. They mention their match against Delirium (Slade and McCallion) tonight.
Delirium (Slade and McCallion) vs. G.U.N.K. (Rob McKnight and Casanova Valentine) ends in a no-contest when the referee throws the match out as Delirium gang up on an injured Valentine and the referee cannot restore order. Referees and security show up in an attempt to restore order.
We hear from 5150 (Danny Limelight and Slice Boogie). Slice Boogie tells Fly Def ("Fly Brother" Warren Jay and "The Big Homie" Zackzilla) that they run things in California and that he has never forgiven the Houston Rockets for what they did to the New York Knicks in 1995. Danny Limelight says that they are the tag team champions for a reason and that they will do what they do best.
Bryce Saturn beats Joey Lancaster.
Backstage, David Marquez interviews Scorpio Sky. Scorpio Sky says he is always busy, but he always comes home. He says Jordan Cruz has been riding high, but he cannot get too high, and if he wants to great, he must beat him to step up to the next level; if he cannot, he will regret losing to him.
5150 (Danny Limelight and Slice Boogie) retain the UWN Tag Team Championships against Fly Def ("Fly Brother" Warren Jay and "The Big Homie" Zackzilla).
Backstage, Jack Farmer interviews Navajo Warrior, who is on his retirement tour known as "The Last Mile." Navajo Warrior talks about his tag team title reign, then says that he and Che Cabrera will bring the house down one last time in singles action.
Before the next match, Danny Limelight says it is crazy how quickly people turn your back on you, then blames the fans for him and Slice Boogie for them being driven together before telling them they suck. Slice Boogie says the fans are idiots and "trash" and says that Disneyland is better before The Krusty Krew (Dom Kubrick and Lucas Riley) show up for the match.
5150 (Danny Limelight and Slice Boogie) retain the UWN World Tag Team Championships against The Krusty Krew (Dom Kubrick and Lucas Riley). After the match, Danny Limelights counters the "Yankees Suck!" chants from the crowd with "So does your mother."
Backstage, Jack Farmer interviews Javi, who says that Jordan Cruz is a coward, a bully and a punk. Javi says he has done everything in his career on his own, while Cruz has The Epic watching his back at all times because he has no shot against him one-on-one. He says that he has limited potential in two weeks, it will be time to fight, win and "open this pit up."
Jonny Loquasto oversees a contract signing for a match between "Poppin'" EJ Sparks and Maximilien for the UWN Heritage Championship. Sparks arrives first. Sparks takes the microphone from Loquasto and calls out Maximilien, saying that the last time he was in the ring, Maximilien and his stooges attacked him when his back was turned. He says he has been very focal about being a fighting champion, yet Maximilien wants to do things the hard way and states that those who play stupid games win stupid prizes. Sparks accepts Maximilien's challenge for the Heritage title and has no doubt in his mind that he will retain against him, then dares Maximilien to get in the ring and sign the contract so he can slap his goofy smile off his goofy face. Jordan Castle shows up with Maximilien and José the Assassin, then says there is no disrespect and that Sparks has been a phenomenal Heritage Champion. After stating that Sparks have given the fans a Heritage Championship reign to remember, he then tells Sparks that the fans do not matter and that Maximilien is "best for business." Castle says that with the body Maximilien has, he does not have to dream big or work hard, for he is entitled to the Heritage title, even going so far as to call the title "an inheritance." He then tells Sparks to enjoy his reign while he can, as their match will be the last time he sniffs the belt, as Maximilien will put him in the Max Factor and end what his "glass" neck started. Castle then tells Loquasto that when Maximilien is champion, he will use his newfound power to get Loquasto fired from the United Wrestling Network just like how he was fired from WWE. Loquasto thanks Castle and Maximilien for making things clear, as he has been confused by their animosity, especially since he does not even know who Jordan Castle is. He says that people get sick and tired of people who get a big head, and tells him to either sign the contract or explain to Maximilien why he cost him a title shot. Castle signs the contract and throws it down before he and José hold Sparks down. Fidel Bravo shows up with a metal folding chair and chases them and Maximilien out of the ring. Loquasto makes the match official for next week.
In what is advertised as Navajo Warrior's last match in the United Wrestling Network, Che Cabrera beats Navajo Warrior.
Backstage, Jack Farmer interviews Che Cabrera. Che Cabrera confirms that Bad Dude Tito is injured and that "Hysterical" Shane Haste is replacing him, and Haste says that he wants to prove that he is not the Zaddie that stepped in, but stepped up. He hopes to lay the beatdown on G.U.N.K. (Rob McKnight and Casanova Valentine) tonight.
Vipress beats Alex Gracia after successfully countering a pinfall attempt with one of her own.
We hear from The Master Amir. He talks about how Delirium has shed its old skin and how they strike without hesitation before promising to take over the tag team division.
Backstage, Jack Farmer is meant by G.U.N.K. (Rob McKnight and Casanova Valentine) Rob McKnight says he knows what G.U.N.K. means, and Casanova Valentine says the G will soon stand for "champions."
The Epic beats Mathias in his UWN debut.
Before the next match, Rob McKnight is down in the men's bathroom, and Casanova Valentine seeks medical assitance (albeit in the form of beer). Danny Limelight says that he and Slice Boogie are not here for the fans, as putting his faith in them got him nowhere, and now he is going back to the basics by calling Slice Boogie. He also admits to attacking Rob McKnight. Slice Boogie is also down for a fight, and as Haste and Cabrera check with the referee, Limelight and Slice go on the attack.
5150 (Danny Limelight and Slice Boogie) beat The Mighty Zaddies (Che Cabrera and "Hysterical" Shane Haste) with a low blow from Slice to Haste prior to the Spike Lee to become the UWN Tag Team Champions!
