Joey Styles and "The Quintessential Studmuffin" Joel Gertner welcome everyone to tonight's show. Cyrus shows up after Gertner's naughty nickname for the pay-per-view, and says what Gertner just did is something the network does not like. He says it is bad enough the network has to put up with him every week on TNN, but Gertner delivers the "all-important 18-to-34 gay male demographic." He tells Gertner to go back to whatever drive-thru he last went through and let him handle the pay-per-view. Gertner tells Cyrus that this is an ECW pay-per-view production, not a TNN network production, which means he doesn't have to watch his mouth as often. He calls Cyrus an asshole, then tells him he has no jurisdiction. He tells Cyrus to "get to steppin'" and let him do what Cyrus tries to do on pay-per-view poorly. Cyrus tells Gertner he tried to be nice about this, and tells him to "get [his] fat ass out of here or [he] will beat [his] ass on pay-per-view." After Cyrus calls Gertner a fat bastard, Gertner tells Cyrus that if they want to go at it now, they'll do it now. Gertner confronts Cyrus, who says he does not want to fight, and says if it means that much to him, Gertner will do the pay-per-view while he just leaves. Cyrus teases leaving, and as Gertner celebrates, Cyrus cheap shots Gertner with a kick as soon as Gertner turns around. Joey gets on top of Cyrus and pulls him off of Gertner.
Steve Corino and Jack Victory are in the ring. Corino says that tonight, he is going to make history. He looks around the arena, and says all he sees are "drunk sexual deviant douchebags." He then says who he calls "the biggest douchebag of them all" in the crowd: The Sandman's wife, Lori Fullington. He calls it an honor and a privilege to see Lori face to face, saying he has heard all the stories and that she is an icon in the ECW locker room for having more of the wrestlers than "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes has had matches. Corino mentions Raven "giving it to [Lori] in the bathroom" before telling her son to shut up and that The Sandman isn't even his real dad. He then says that he is the only person Lori has yet to put over, and tells Lori to put him over on pay-per-view before calling her a whore. Lori slaps Corinio without hesitation, and Corino pulls Lori over the guardrail. Lori tries to fight Corino, but Rhino and Jack Victory grab her. As Corino tries to undo his pants, The Sandman gets in the ring only to get beaten up, and Lori does not fare any better. Rhino then gores Lori through a table set up in the corner. As Corino, Rhino and Jack Victory take the boots to Sandman, who is protecting Lori , security storms the ring to hold them all back. The Sandman eventually helps Lori to the back, and asks for his son and daughter to be sent to him. Corino then says "One whore down...one to go!" He says he is "The New American Dream" in ECW and that he will kick Dusty's fat ass.
"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes beats Steve Corino in a Texas Bullrope Match. During the match, Corino introduces a second cowbell into the match, and referee H.C. Lowe - the same referee Corino beat up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin - tapes the cowbell onto Corino's head so that Dusty can smash a steel chair into it for the win.
It is announced that Lori Fullington is in an ambulance and on her way to the hospital. Since The Sandman will be with her in the hospital, Cyrus says The Sandman will have to forfeit his match against Rhino, who will go ahead to the finals to face the winner of Super Crazy vs. Little Guido.
Before the next match, Lou E. Dangerously announces that tonight, he can proclaim himself as the hottest entity in professional wrestling today, for he is the only one with enough guts to name a pay-per-view after himself. He says he can do that, because his name just so happens to be Lou E. Dangerously. When "Dastardly" Danny Doring and Roadkill head to the ring, Elektra has to rip him off of a woman in the front row who tries to kiss him.
The New Dangerous Alliance ("The Enforcer" C.W. Anderson and "Beatiful" Billy Wilds) beats "Dastardly" Danny Doring and Roadkill after Elektra trips Roadkill off the top rope, betraying Roadkill and Doring to join The New Dangerous Alliance.
We hear from The Impact Players (Justin Credible and Lance Storm). Storm says they are walking out with the ECW World Tag Team Championships, as they were robbed in Cincinnati, Ohio and this is their chance to prove it. Justin says there are not going to make a promise; they are going to make a guarantee that they will become two-time ECW World Tag Team Champion.
Before the next match, Simon Diamond says he has a problem. "Judge' Jeff Jones shows up and tells Diamond that he indeed has a problem, and brings out Mike Awesome. Mike Awesome says both Diamond and Kid Kash have a problem, and he allows them to either leave the ring and live or stay in the ring and die. Kid Kash throws a towel at Mike Awesome and charges at him, but Mike Awesome overpowers him with ease while everyone else in the ring except for the referee flees.
Mike Awesome retains the ECW World Heavyweight Championship against Kid Kash in an impromptu match. Kid Kash has to be helped up after the match by Jazz, trainers and referee John Molineaux, and Team No Respect (Jado and Gedo) run into the ring to attack Jazz. Nova and Chris Chetti run into the ring to fight them off. This starts the next match.
Nova and Chris Chetti beat Team No Respect (Jado and Gedo).
We hear from Lou E. Dangerously, who says he has achieved one of his greatest accomplishments tonight. He then says that there are plaenty of men and women who hate Paul Heyman, but hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and when the women want a push, they know where to come. Elektra says she and Paul have known each other for years and he could have helped her, but he didn't, and now she has a lot of animosity towards him for being a man. As for "Dastardly" Danny Doring, she can have anything she wants and he could not hang with her because he is a "little boy." As for Roadkill, she knows that he personally hates her and wants to rib her and cause her to miss flights, and she personally hates him and knows that he is jealous because "[his] tits are bigger than [hers]." She then says there a new boss in town, and it is Lou E. Dangerously.
Super Crazy beats Little Guido to face Rhino at the finals of the ECW World Television Championship Tournamen later tonight.
Balls Mahoney beats Kintaro Kanemura. After the match, Da Baldies (Angel, Big Vito, Grimes) attack Balls and pu him through a table with a somersault senton from the top of the ring post by Grimes. New Jack shows up with a garbage can full of weapons and easily takes out Big Vito and Angel, but he and Grimes brawl their way into the crowd and onto metal scaffolding, where Grimes lands on New Jack's face and chest as both of them fall off the scaffolding and into a table below. New Jack ends up falling foot-first through the table as Grimes lands on his face and chest, and New Jack ends up going to the hospital afterwards after he and Grimes are helped to the back by security.
Before the next match, Lance Storm says that The Impact Players (Storm and Justin Credible) were ready to beat up "The Innovator of Violence" Tommy Dreamer and Masato Tanaka, but since they no longer hold the ECW World Tag Team Championships, they are not worried about them. He then calls out Mike Awesome and Raven, saying that they want the tag team titles back. Awesome and Raven rush in and fight The Impact Players, then Dreamer and Tanaka show up a minute or two later.
The Impact Players (Justin Credible and Lance Storm) beat the team of Mike Awesome and Raven and the team of "The Innovator of Violence" Tommy Dreamer and Masato Tanaka to become the ECW World Tag Team Champions! Mike Awesome and Raven are eliminated just minutes into the match after a roaring elbow by Tanaka, guaranteeing new ECW World Tag Team Champions. After the match, Cyrus gets in the ring and announces that the network approves of the new tag team champions before announcing that the world of Extreme Championship Wrestling is finally right again after The Impact Players have delivered the goods for the company and the network. He then says that to cap off the night's proceedings and become a very happy network executive, he will watch from ringside as Rhino beats Super Crazy to win the ECW World Television Championship. Cyrus then introduces Rhino, then says that what the network wants, the network gets, and he does not give a rat's ass whether the fans or Paul Heyman like it. Suddenly, Heyman shows up, yelling "I am so motherfucking tired of the goddamn motherfucking network!" He says that when ECW on TNN began, he thought it was the greatest thing in the world until he found out they had a deal with "a fucking asshole like [Cyrus]." He then says that the only place Cyrus is going down is at the center of the aisle, and as Heyman says he wants no problem with Cyrus, "The Quintessential Studmuffin" Joel Gertner shows up and tells Heyman he has a show to run while he has unfinished business with Cyrus. Heyman heads to the back, and Gertner says eh echoes the sentiments of Heyman and everyone in ECW when he says he is sick and tired of Cyrus, and says he, Rhino and the network will all go down "right fuckin' now." Super Crazy then runs to the ring, and the finals of the ECW World Television Championship immediately begin.
Super Crazy beats Rhino to become the ECW World Television Champion! During the match, Rhino uses referee Jim Molineaux as a human shield against Super Crazy's triple moonsault, then Tajiri shows up and spits green mist into Super Crazy's face before hitting a series of kicks. Rhino sets up another table in the corner, and Tajiri gets Super Crazy in the tree of woe position before Tajiri hits Super Crazy with a baseball slide and Rhino hits a gore. Suddenly, Rob Van Dam shows up, carried to the ring by Scotty Anton. RVF gets in the ring with a crutch in his hand, and Scotty goes after Tajiri. Bill Alfonso distracts Rhino, and RVD hits Rhino with a crutch before putting him through the table. Super Crazy then hits a moonsault from the top rope to win the ECW World Television Championship. After the match, Rhino attacks RVD and Super Crazy, and Scotty tries to fight off Rhino only to get Gored. Steve Corino, Jack Victory and Tajiri then start taking the boots to everybody while Cyrus directs traffic, then The Sandman shows up. comes out through the crowd and hits Rhino with his Singapore cane in revenge for what Rhino did to Lori Fullington at the top of the show, clearing out the ring in the process. The Sandman then hands Scotty, RVD, Bill Alfonso and Super Crazy a beer to end the show.
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