Final Impact - Impact Wrestling recap for May 16, 2013

The show starts with Hulk Hogan. He tells AJ Styles to join Aces and Eights, because "Who cares?" Kurt Angle will take on AJ at Slammiversary. Also, the contract signing for Bully Ray and Sting's World title match will also take place tonight. He then calls Abyss out to thank him for last week, but Joseph Park comes out instead and is amazed his brother Chris (y'know, Abyss) showed up while he was recuperating at home. Hulk asks Joseph where Abyss is when Devon and D'Lo Brown show up. They want Abyss as they believe Abyss helped Sting and Kurt Angle cheat. A pissed Park challenges Devon to a match, but Devon wants Park to prove himself. D'Lo wants Park. Hogan makes it so, and if Park wins he can challenge Devon anytime he wants.

James Storm has plans for Bobby Roode, Austin Aries and Bad Influence (Christopher Daniels and Kazarian)...

Bobby Roode beats Chavo Guerrero by disqualification after "The Cowboy" James Storm spits beer in Roode's face. Roode slowly backs out of the ring as "The Cowboy" eyes him.

Kurt Angle enters the ring. For a year, nobody seems to be trustworthy due to Aces and Eights. He's happy to take on AJ Styles at Slammiversary, but he calls out AJ so he can beat him up now. Mr. Anderson of Aces and Eights shows up and tells him - and everyone - that AJ Styles will be "patched in" next week, meaning that Styles is joining Aces and Eights. When Anderson dares Angle to show up so the club can destroy him, Angle beats up Anderson only to meet up with AJ, who proceeds to kick Angle in the head with a single-leg drop kick.

We meet TNA Gut Check winner Jay Bradley. He's ready to step his game up.

Jay Bradley beats Christian York to advance in the Gut Check Bound For Glory tournament.

Brooke Hogan and Mickie James talk. Brooke wants Mickie to have another match with Velvet Sky next week for the Knockouts title. Bully Ray shows up and harasses Brooke again.

Velvet Sky beats Gail Kim with a hurt knee and a roll-up. Gail Kim locks the ringpost Figure Four leglock on Velvet until ODB breaks it up.

Keny King retains the TNA X Division Championship against Petey Williams and Chris Sabin.

Christopher Daniels and Kazarian weigh their options after knowing what James Storm did earlier tonight.

D'Lo Brown tells Mr. Anderson he knows he messed up two weeks ago. Can D'Lo get back on the ball.

Hernandez beats Christopher Daniels after James Storm distracts Daniels. He then makes an announcement as per Hulk Hogan: at Slammiversary, it will be Bad Influence (Daniels and Kazarian), the team of Bobby Roode and Austin Aries, the team of Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez...and Storm and a partner of his choice for the tag team titles! It's a four-team tag team match for the tag titles at Slammiversary!

Joseph Park beats D'Lo Brown when D'Lo Brown bloodies Park up, making him angry...causing D'Lo to eat a Black Hole Slam!

The contract signing between Sting and Bully Ray for their match at Slammiversary occurs. Bully Ray calls out Sting, then calls out Hulk Hogan. Sting tells Bully Ray to make him bleed before he does the same to Bully Ray, and asks for a no-holds-barred match. Bully accepts, but only if he signs the contract, which states that if Sting loses, he can never compete for the World title again. Hulk Hogan tells him not to do it, but Sting accepts. Sting and Bully then beat each other up.

Saving the best for last: Suicide returns next week!

Here is the updated card for Slammiversary XI!

TNA One Night Only: Joker's Wild - The Recap

Christy Hemme and Jeremy Borash open the show with a lottery ball drawing. James Storm is picked first, and his partner is Christian York. Their opponents? Crimson and Gunner. (All of the matches in this Joker's Wild Tag Team Tournament are randomly generated by lottery wheel.)

James Storm and Christian York beat Gunnar and Crimson.

Jesse and Mr. Anderson are picked to take on Douglas Williams and Kid Kash.

Jesse and Mr. Anderson beat Douglas Williams and Kid Kash, despite the fact that Anderson and Jesse are at each other's throats to the point that Anderson hits a Mic Check on his partner before getting the win.

Samoa Joe and Christopher Daniels vs Chavo Guerrero and Rob Van Dam is next.

Samoa Joe and Christopher Daniels beat Chavo Guerrero and Rob Van Dam.

Robbie E and Zema Ion vs Joseph Park and Bobby Roode is made next. Park wants his team to be named "Law and Order," but Roode has none of it.

Joseph Park and Bobby Roode beat Robbie E and Zema Ion after Park goes nuts on his opponents after his lip is busted open. Bobby Roode makes the blind tag to win the pinfall.

Next up is Hernandez and Alex Silva vs DOC and Devon.

DOC and Devon beat Hernandez and Alex Silva.

Robbie T (Rob Terry) and Matt Morgan go up against Joey Ryan and Al Snow.

Matt Morgan and Robbie T (Rob Terry) beat Joey Ryan and Al Snow. Ryan tells Morgan to lay down for the pin only to eat a Carbon Footprint instead.

James Storm wins an over-the-top rope gauntlet match consisting of all the tournament winners. Mike Knox (Knux) tries to help Devon screw Storm out of a victory, as does Bobby Roode, but it all ultimately fails. His prize? $100,000 in prize money!