Raw Deal - Raw recap for July 26, 1999

RAW

The Undertaker is seen assaulting X-Pac backstage before the show starts. (This backstage brawl is also the first promotional appearance of Hansen's Energy Drink, which would later be name-changed to Monster Energy in 2012.) "Road Dogg' Jesse James tries to come to X-Pac's aid, but The Undertaker puts him through a table before taking his brawl with X-Pac to the stage and into the ring. The Undertaker punches X-Pac a few times and is trying to choke the life out of him when Kane runs in and fights The Undertaker. Big Show runs to the ring and grabs Kane from behind. Big Show and The Undertaker end up fighting Kane together, and Kane is eventually pinned to the corner by The Undertaker as Big Show puts the boots to Kane. Once they are done, 'Taker extends his hand, and Big Show shakes it, making their alliance official.

A black limousine is seen pulling up to the arena. WWF co-owner Vince McMahon walks out of the back of the limousine, walking very slowly without the aid of crutches.

We see footage from during the break where Kane helps X-Pac to the back. Before he picks him up, however, Kane lets out a cry of anguish.

X-Pac is seen being placed in the back of an ambulance as Kane watches.

Hardcore Holly is the special guest ring announcer for the next match. He shoves Tony Chimel out of the ring, then says he is doing this because he can. Hardcore Holly then mocks both teams in the next match, one of which is Edge and Christian, who come out through the crowd together for the first time.

The Acolytes (Faarooq and Bradshaw) beat Edge and Christian. Shortly after the match starts, it is announced on commentary that "The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock has been struck by an automobile somewhere behind the arena, and that an ambulance is en route to the scene. Also during the match, Gangrel shows up and takes Christian to the back. After the match, special guest ring announcer Hardcore Holly declares himself the winner, then gets in the ring to fight The Acolytes only to get torn apart. Kane shows up, gets in the ring and choke slams all three men and Edge. He then asks for a microphone, then places his autolarynx to his neck and says "You hurt Sean [Waltman], you hurt me. Undertaker...Big Show...tonight, I'm gonna hurt you."

"The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock is seen going off on EMTs as he refuses medical help. We see the ambulance that left with X-Pac earlier, which passes by Shamrock. As this happens, he is struck by an automobile by "The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman.

WWF co-owner Vince McMahon is seen heading to the ring, while "Stone Cold" Steve Austin is seen entering the arena.

WWF co-owner Vince McMahon shows up. Ben Stiller of the upcoming movie Mystery Men is seen in the front row, giving Vince the thumbs down. Vince says he has come here tonight not to break a promise or breach a contract, but to honor them, as he has never lied to anyone and has always kept his promises and fulfilled his obligations, and only once has he not made good on his guarantees. Last night, for the first time in his life, he has failed when "Stone Cold" Steve Austin defeated The Undertaker. He says that for those who watched Fully Loaded in its final moments, he was on his knees among the sweat, the beer, the blood and the grim, agonizing in pain after suffering not one but two devastating Stone Cold Stunners. He feels that final moment is not how he wants to be remembered, and he has taken the liberty to come before the fans and make a more formal farewell. He wants the fans to remember him for who he is: a handsome, affluent entrepreneur who left his indelible mark on each and every fan As Vince is about to leave the ring, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin shows up. Vince says he is glad Austin is here, as he has something to get off his chest. He says they both know that on the surface, it would appear as though they are worlds apart, but down deep, they are just alike. The only difference between himself and Austin is that Vince will always consider himself "the better man." To prove it, he extends his hand and says "Put 'er there." After some hesitation, Austin takes the microphone out of Vince's other hand and says he has a problem with shaking his hand after two years, then asks the crowd to give him a "hell yeah" if they want to see him break his arm and shove it up his ass. He says that he can dump Vince on his neck in an instant. Austin then tells Vince that if he thinks he is the better man because he money and power, then he can take those things along with his arm and shove them all straight up his own ass. He says that as much as Vince tried to make his life a living hell, he says the harder he made it, the more he had, and that he is living proof that a sorry son-of-a-bitch like Vince will never beat a son-of-a-bitch like him. He then asks Jim Ross to come to the ring before Vince leaves, and Jim Ross gets in the ring. He says that Vince fired Jim Ross, and asks him to sing "Na Na Hey Hey (The Goodbye Song)" by Steam because he refuses to sing it. "Oh hey hey" is replaced by "Oh hell yeah." Vince angrily leaves the ring, then turns around only for Austin to flip him off - with both hands - one last time. Vince then turns around and flips Austin off right back with both hands before heading to the back. Austin then celebrates int he ring with a couple of cold ones, as does Jim Ross.

WWF co-owner Vince McMahon is seen heading to the limo when ring announcer Howard Finkel catches up with him. He says that after 24 years, he never thought he would say goodbye, thank him for everyone, and that he loves him. Vince angrily tells Finkel to get the hell away from him, then gets in the limo and leaves.

Before the next match, Val Venis says later on tonight will be the time for lovin', but right now, he wants Droz to bring Prince Albert to the ring and bring their stinking carcasses to the ring so that he and The Godfather can light their punk asses up. Ben Stiller is seen on camera again as The Godfather shows up with his hos. It is also announced that WWF will be on the Home Shopping Network immediately after Raw.

Val Venis and The Godfather beat Droz and Prince Albert in a Tag Team Street Fight. During the match, a portly man in all white - including white dreadlocks in a ponytail - shows up and takes the boots to The Godfather briefly before being hauled off by WWF security.

Michael Cole interviews The Rock, who calls Cole an idiot before placing his brand new merchandise on Cole and telling him not to move before he takes the microphone. He says Triple H beat him, but not on his own, and says he is a one-trick pony and a cheap trick circus. His one trick is Chyna and his circus is his ability. As for "Bad Ass" BIlly Gunn, he will take the lips off of his trunk, peel them off, turn them sideways and stick them straight up his candy ass. He then says he sees the way Chyna licks and puckers his lips when she sees him, and says she has a thing for him and is suffering from "Rock fever." He says that the next time they go one-on-one, he wants her to get on his knees and pucker her lips only for him to kick her teeth so far down her throat she will have to stick a toothbrush straight up her ass to brush them. He wants them to know that he has millions of fans who chant his name, then messes with Michael Cole by asking him what is on his hand only to shove said hand up his face when he raises it up.

Ben Stiller is seen in the front row again, and this time his presence is announced by ring announcer Tony Chimel as "the man who loves Debra's puppies."

WAR ZONE

Triple H and Chyna show up. It is announced that Minnesota state governor Jesse "The Body" Ventura will be the special guest referee for Triple H vs. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin for the WWF Championship at SummerSlam. Triple H calls out Austin for getting Jim Ross to sing WWF co-owner Vince McMahon out of the building, and says he does not give a crap because as of last night, it is no longer about Austin or Vince; it is about him. He says that he can beat Austin man-to-man as Austin watches from the locker room. Triple H says he has watched Austin like a hawk for the last six months and has seen every move. He says he has not taken a breathe or batted an eye without him seeing it, and says he knows him like the back of his hand, knowing his strengths and every one of his weaknesses. At SummerSlam, no matter what the hype says, it will not be an out-of-body experience. He then says to Hell with Jesse "The Body" Ventura, because he will not be a factor, and neither will Chyna. He says it will all come down to him and Austin, one-on-one, face-to-face, man-to-man. He says just like him, Austin eats, breathes and sleeps this business. While Austin may be a student of the game, at SummerSlam, he will show him and the whole world that he is the game. Chyna then takes the microphone, and says The Rock talks really tough from the back. She says he has something to say to her, but that it is just too bad he does not have the balls to say it to her face. Triple H and Chyna are about to leave the ring when The Rock shows up. He is about to approach the ring when he is attacked from behind by "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn with the same club that Gunn used at Fully Loaded. Gunn and Chyna take the boots to The Rock, Gunn and Triple H hold The Rock up so Chyna can hit The Rock with a low blow. Gunn then says to The Rock "Rock...now you know your role...bitch!" Triple H, Gunn and Chyna then leave. The Rock then gets back up and tells Billy Gunn that if he has a set of balls - before saying that he knows Chyna has some, too - then their candy asses meet him tonight in a handicap match so he can take both of his boots, turn them sideways, and stick them straight up their candy asses.

Kane beats The Undertaker and Big Show in a handicap match by disqualification after The Undertaker hits Kane in the head with a steel chair. The Undertaker continues to attack Kane after the match, and "Road Dogg" Jesse James rushes in to fight both The Undertaker and Big Show off only to fall victim to a choke slam by Big Show. Kane gets up in the meantime, but The Undertaker and Big Show continue to attack him.

Jeff Jarrett is seen dragging Debra out of a photo shoot backstage on his way to the ring.

Only 335 hours and 39 minutes until the new millennium!

Jeff Jarrett and Debra show up. He says there will be no puppies in anybody's future tonight, as tonight is about the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. He then calls out Ben Stiller, saying he knows he is here, and tells him to get in the ring as his personal guest. He knows that he is a big fan of Debra's puppies, but makes it clear he can't touch the merchandise. When asked why he is here, he says he is here to see some world classic wrestling while on the road promoting Mystery Men opening next week on August 6th. Jarrett asks why he wasn't cast in the movie, and Stiller mentions the characters in the movie before saying there wasn't a guy powerful enough for Jarrett to portray. He then asks Stiller who his favorite WWF Superstar is. Stiller says it's the puppies. He then gets attacked from behind by Jarrett. Stiller tries to crawl out of the ring, but Jeff Jarrett puts him in the Figure Four Leg Lock as Debra yells at Jarrett to stop. As Stiller is tapping out, D'Lo Brown gets in the ring, and Jarrett lets go to fend off D'Lo only to fall victim to the Sky High followed by the Lo Down. D'Lo then checks on Ben Stiller while Debra leaves with Jarrett.

It is revealed after the break that while D'Lo Brown had Jeff Jarrett in the Sky Hugh, Ben Stiller had his nose in Debra's puppies.

Triple H is seen entering "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's locker room.

Before the next match, Ivory says Nicole Bass is a pain in her and isn't good enough to stand by her. (In reality, she is no longer in the company after leaving and filing a sexual harassment lawsuit against Steve Lombardi aka The Brooklyn Brawler after he allegedly sexually assaulted her backstage. The case will ultimately be dismissed.) She then issues another open challenge for the WWF Women's Championship to anybody in the crowd, and a woman in the crowd with red hair and a skirt is picked out. Ivory then hits her with the Women's title before going to town on her. Suddenly, Tori shows up and gets the better of Ivory as the woman picked out of the crowd is helped out of ringside by WWF security. Referees and officials then show up to separate both women.

Triple H is seen leaving "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's locker room.

Al Snow is seen sitting on the floor backstage and wanting the voices in his head to stop when a chihuahua approaches Snow, smells him and leaves. Snow wants the chihuahua to come back.

Before the next match, Triple H thought he would come out and kick "The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock's ass, but he guesses that will not happen. He tells Shamrock to go ahead and nurse his wounds in the back if he wants to, but it only makes him "a puss." Shamrock shows up after his music plays a second time, this time with his ribs and left elbow taped up.

Triple H beats "The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock after Shamrock is deemed by referee Jimmy Korderas to be too badly hurt to continue. Triple H continues to attack Shamrock after the match.

Backstage, Michael Cole interviews Paul Bearer, Big Show and The Undertaker. 'Taker says X-Pac is in the hospital, while Kane is nothing more than "a big red pussy." He says the days of scary music and scary entrances are over. He says Big Show knows what evil is, and that soon all the people will know what evil is, as the days of Armageddon are upon us. We then see Test attacking Pete Gas backstage before Rodney and Joey Abs can get his hands on him.

Triple H guests on commentary for the next match.

"Bad Ass" Billy Gunn and Chyna vs. The Rock ends in a no-contest. During the match, Triple H attacks The Rock from behind at ringside behind referee Earl Hebner's back as he becomes hostile to Jim Ross on commentary. Triple H eventually punches Jim Ross out, and "Stone Cold" Steve AUstin - who has been seen watching the match from backstage and hearing what Triple H has to say about him - rushes out and brwal brawls with Triple H at ringside as The Rock lays Chyna and Billy Gunn out.

After the show goes off the air, Triple H continues to brawl with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin at ringside as The Rock chases "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn to the back. Austin and Triple H's brawl is taken over the barricade and into the front row, then heads back to ringside. The two of them eventually fight each other in the ring until Austin hits Triple H with a Stone Cold Stunner. Austin the celebrates with a couple of cold beers to send the fans home happy, but Chyna yanks Austin off the second rope and Triple H stomps Austin again before drinking a beer, smacking the beer can into his face and holding Austin up so that Chyna can slap him. Austin fights back, however, and hits both Triple H and Chyna with Stone Cold Stunners. He then celebrates with more beer.