Raw Deal - Raw recap for March 18, 2013

John Cena starts off this week's episode of Raw live in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He tells The Rock's fans "Your time is up, our time is now." Darren Young shows up, and so does Titus O'Neil. O'Neil is going by the name "Rufus 'Pancake' Patterson" and is wearing a fake afro and a dark gray full body suit. After a bit of funny business and jokes between the three men, Darren Young challenges John Cena to prove that he and Titus are ready for WrestleMania. John Cena accepts, and tells him to get in the ring right now to see what it's like to be WrestleMania ready.

John Cena beats Darren Young in an impromptu match.

Ryback beats David Otunga. He tells the crowd he's ready for The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns) and WrestleMania. He tells Mark Henry they'll meet again, and Mark Henry shows up shortly thereafter. Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero stop Mark Henry, and Vickie takes Ryback out of the six-man tag match against The Shield. Instead, Ryback gets to take on Mark Henry at WrestleMania.

Fandango almost debuts tonight. His entrance is pretty interesting, to say the least. He gives Natalya a chance to pronounce his name correctly, but she sics The Great Khali on him instead. Fandango and his lady dancer friend walk out yet again.

Damien Sandow and R-Truth have a verbal exchange before their match.

Damien Sandow walks away as he takes on R-Truth, and R-Truth wins by countout.

Kaitlyn tells The Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki) they can have Cody Rhodes's mustache...and he can have theirs. Ouch.

Undertaker enters the ring...and speaks! He tells CM Punk he's going to get hurt. He offers Punk one chance to save himself: return the urn of Paul Bearer. CM Punk appears on the TitanTron imitating Paul Bearer's voice with the urn. He plays around with it recklessly as he talks trash to 'Taker and tells him he'll end his undefeated WrestleMania streak. He drops it, but it doesn't drop or lose any of its contents. (The "shit" in "Oh, shit!" is also adeptly censored out.) 'Taker is incensed.

AJ distracts Team Hell No (Kane and Daniel Bryan), but Team Hell No still beats Primo and Epico. Neither member of Team Hell No is thrilled to see her.

Josh Mathews interviews Chris Jericho. As he talks about the history of him and the Intercontinental title, Fandango shows up...and his name gets fun of more than ever before.

WWE Divas Natalya and Alicia Fox go to Africa as part of Nothing But Nets, which supplies protective nets to children to protect them from malaria-carrying mosquitos.

Alberto Del Rio fights through a bum knee suffered at the hands of Jack Swagger at Main Event last week to beat Cody Rhodes with the Cross Arm Breaker...then Swagger attacks Del Rio. Del Rio gets the upper hand after Ricardo Rodriguez tries to help Del Rio and get thrown around as a result...until he notices Zeb Colter is right next to him. As soon as Del Rio lays his hands on Colter, Swagger punishes Del Rio for it. Swagger almost leaves, but notices Ricardo...and breaks his ankle with the Patriot Lock.

Ricardo Rodriguez is taken out of the arena on a stretcher.

Booker T is in the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2013. Congratulations, sucka.

Sheamus and Randy Orton beat 3MB (Drew McIntyre and Heath Slater). The Shield (Dean Amrbose, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns) show up, but so does Big Show! The Shield retreat...for now. Big Show points at the WrestleMania sign, then walks away. Will Show join Orton and Sheamus at WrestleMania?

Big E Langston and AJ help Dolph Ziggler beat Kofi Kingston. Team Hell No (Kane and Daniel Bryan) show up and thank Dolph for putting them on the same page. They challenge Dolph and Big E to a match at WrestleMania. AJ accepts for them, if they put the tag team titles on the line. D-Bry and Kane respond with a big, fat "Yes!"

Wade Barrett steals the victory retains the WWE Intercontinental Championship against The Miz and Chris Jericho in a Triple Threat Match.

Triple H enters the ring. Paul Heyman enters soon after with an entourage of three security guards as he is "afraid of Triple H," who is "frustrated." Triple H wants to sign the contract, but Paul Heyman teases him by showing the footage of Trips destroying Brock Lesnar three weeks, teasing him with unusual fake stipulations...and saying in the last one that "the loser should get Stephanie [McMahon]." This angers Triple H, who floors Heyman and destroys his security entourage. Triple H then places Heyman on the table and slaps the crap out of him before signing the contract. Brock Lesnar finally shows up with a steel chair, but he and Heyman both back away from the ring with a malicious glee, and Heyman finally mentions the stipulation: it's a No-Holds-Barred Match, and if Triple H loses, his career is over!