Thursday, April 13, 2000

Layin' da SmackDown - SmackDown recap for April 13, 2000

Before the next match, Eddie Guerrero hands Chyna a glass vase full of roses, then says that as a true European Champion from Europe, it would be a disgrace to the European Championship if it were to fall into the hands of an islander from Samoa. He asks if anyone knows where Samoa is, then tells Chyna that while Rikishi may have the biggest ass in the world, he has the biggest supply of Latino heat in the world.

Rikishi Phatu beats Eddie Guerrero by disqualification, and Eddie Guerrero retains the WWF European Championship. During the match, Rikishi inadvertently elbows referee Mike Chioda in the face, and while Chioda is down, Chyna counters a potential Banzai Drop onto Eddie by smashing the vase of roses into Rikishi's face. Rikishi manages to kick out at two afterwards, however. Later in the match, Chyna tries to hit RIkishi with a low blow from behind only for Rikishi to notice her. Eddie drop kicks Rikishi, but Rikishi squashes Chyna in the corner. Rikishi lays the Stinkface on Chyna, and when he goes for a spike piledriver on Eddie, Chyna hits Rikishi with a low blow to end the match.

Backstage, Triple H is feeding WWF co-owner Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley grapes when WWF co-owner Shane McMahon and Triple H agree that last Monday night was pretty fun and that they can do more of the same if anyone gets in their way tonight. Shane proposes they go out and have even more fun than they did on Raw, and Stephanie says they should make WWF Chairman Vince McMahon - who is not here tonight - proud. Suddenly, The Rock is seen entering the arena with his head bandaged, and Triple H responds by saying "Let the games begin."

Triple H and WWF co-owners Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and Shane McMahon show up. Shane recaps the events of last Monday's Raw and says that Triple H was true to his word when he said he would turn it up a notch by having The Rock lay at their feet "with the lifeblood of The Rock's blood oozing onto the mat." Shane tells Triple H that was a proud moment, and congratulates Triple H while saying he is proud is WWF Champion. He also says that he is proud that Triple H is his brother-in-law. Stephanie says Triple H and Shane get her so choked up, and says they are going to make her cry as she is emotional just like WWF Chairman Vince McMahon. She knows Vince is watching at home right now, and while she knows he wanted to keep this as a surprise, she announces that when Triple H defends the WWF Championship against The Rock, Vince is going to be in Triple H's corner. Triple H says he is both honored and flattered that Vince would do that, but he does not want Vince coming in thinking he can steal his thunder, as he wants to do this his own. Nevertheless, Vince can be in his corner with a front row seat to the match. Triple H then says he gave The Rock a lesson in what it takes to be a real WWF Champion and to be the best on Raw, and says it takes a lot of sweat, a lot of tears, and "a whole lot of [The Rock's] blood." He tells The Rock that if he keeps coming back, he will keep teaching him that same lesson, and if it takes him a million times, he will teach him that lesson over and over. He then says it does not matter how much sweat comes out of his body, how many tears comes from his eyes and how much blood pumps out of his body, it will all be for nothing, as he will never be WWF Champion because he cannot beat him. Suddenly, The Rock shows up, and Triple H tells The Rock that he knows he is in front of his home state to talk about his chance at becoming WWF Champion, and says he has thought long and hard about when and where to give him his shot. He admits that Tampa, Florida would be "a hell of a place," but then says the match is so big that they might as well make it a bigger place because the match is so important. He then proposes they do it in Washington, D.C. - the site of Backlash in three weeks. The Rock says that Triple H did it all to him on Monday night and left him laying in a pool of his own blood and barely able to stand, but as sure as Triple H is "surrounded by a silver spoon jackass and by a bargain basement bitch," he walked out with his shot at the WWF Championship. He tells Triple, Shane and Stephanie to bring on Vince McMahon, and since they will be in Washington, D.C., they might as well bring on Congress, the Senate, the Vice President, the President, and even a dug-up George Washington., as there is nobody who will be able to stop him from whipping Triple H's candy ass. Triple H says The Rock is full of himself for somebody who lost half his blood on Monday night, and says that The Rock isn't even at 60 to 70% of his best right nowHe then says it does not really matter what percentage he is at, because tonight, it will be the two of them. Shane whispers something in Triple H's ear, then Triple H tells The Rock it will not be for the WWF Championship. He then tells The Rock to round up The Acolytes (Faarooq and Bradshaw) and bring them to the ring with him while he brings The Big Boss Man and Bull Buchanan for a six-man tag team match. The Rock asks Triple H if this is the best he can come up with, then tells him it doesn't matter because at Backlash, he promises to the people that he will whip Triple H's candy ass and walk out WWF Champion.

We see footage from earlier today where Al Snow and "The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman head to a nursing home, where Blackman finds out that he has to perform stand-up comedy.

The Hardy Boyz (Jeff and Matt Hardy) beat The Radicalz (Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit) following a Jeff Hardy Swanton Bomb on Dean Malenko during a pinfall attempt as referee Tim White is distracted by Chris Benoit.

Backstage, Triple H and WWF co-owner Shane McMahon tell Kurt Angle that they were wrong about him and that they agree that he was screwed at WrestleMania. They give him an opportunity to win the WWF Tag Team Championships when he teams with Big Show tonight.

Perry Saturn beats Crash Holly after superkicking a cookie sheet into Crash's face to win the WWF Hardcore Championship! After the match, Tazz runs into the ring with referee Jimmy Korderas in tow, and smashes the cookie sheet into Saturn's head to win the Hardcore Championship from Saturn. Crash then grabs the cookie sheet and smashes it into Tazz's head, and wins the WWF Hardcore Championship back from Tazz. Saturn and Tazz then go at it, and referees have to run in to restore order.



Back at the nursing home in footage from earlier today, Al Snow is the only person laughing as Blackman does not have the chops for stand-up comedy.

Before the next match, Kurt Angle says that tonight, his quest to reacquire championship gold has come to an end, as he the has the one partner guaranteed to bring home the tag team titles in Big Show. When Big Show arrives, however, he arrives to "Rowdy" Roddy Piper's music in a kilt and a beret, eating a donut and drinking bottled water. Backstage, Triple H and WWF co-owner Shane McMahon laugh it up. Angle asks Big Show what he is doing, and Big Show speaks in a Scottish accent as he says he is trying to have a little fun. Angle says he is here to win championship gold, but Show says that while he is here for championship gold, he is also here to show everyone what is underneath his kilt. Angle tries to persuade him not to do it as there are children present, then the next match begins.

Edge and Christian retain the WWF Tag Team Championships against Big Show and Kurt Angle by count-out after Kurt Angle slaps Big Show for not taking the match seriously only for Big Show to beat him up outside of the ring.

Backstage near a water cooler, Chris Jericho asks Tori and WWF co-owner Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley where The Godather is. Jericho walks away when he finds out he is talking to Tori and Stephanie and not two of The Godfather's hos.

Buh Buh Ray Dudley beats Albert. After the match, Test attacks D-Von Dudley, then Trish Stratus pulls a table out from underneath the ring. Test sets the table up in the middle of the ring, while D-Von Dudldey grabs a steel chair and smashes it into Test's back before he can put Buh Buh Ray through the table. After a steel chair head shot to Albert, Buh Buh Ray splashes Albert through the table from the top rope.

In the locker room, Chris Jericho apologize to Tori and WWF co-owner Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. Stephanie wishes Chris Jericho luck in his match against X-Pac tonight, then tells him that he will also be facing "Road Dogg" Jesse James during that match, effectively making Jericho's match a 2-on-1 handicap match.

Wade Boggs of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays is seen in the front row.

We see more footage from earlier today of "The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman's attempts at stand-up comedy at the nursing home. After telling a woman who says he sucks at stand-up that her mother is so hairy that Bigfoot takes pictures of her, the woman responds by saying "My mother died in '64...you heartless bitch!" Blackman finally snaps and pulls out his nunchaku, much to the disappointment of Al Snow.

The Kat and Mae Young beat Terri Runnels and The Fabulous Moolah.

Before the next match, Chris Jericho welcomes everyone to "Tampa is Jericho," then says that he has seemingly insulted WWF co-owner Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley when he mistake her for one of The Godfather's ho. He says that he was going to apologize in the ring, but since he has been put in a 2-on-1 handicap match and is about to be screwed anyway, he might as well get his money's worth. He then says that The Rock and all the Jerichoholics were correct in calling Stephanie a "bargain basement bitch." Jericho then calls Stephanie "the filthiest, dirtiest, most disgusting, skankiest, brutal, bottom-feeding trash bag ho" that he has ever seen in his life while Stephanie and Triple H watch from backstage.

D-Generation X (X-Pac and "Road Dogg" Jesse James) beat Chris Jericho in a 2-on-1 handicap match. During the match, Tori gets involved, but Jericho catches her hand as she tries to slap him and puts her in the Walls of Jericho. Road Dogg then kicks Jericho in the back of the head so that X-Pac can hit X Factor for the win while WWF co-owner Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and a friend of hers watch backstage

Backstage, WWF co-owner Shane McMahon chews out referee Earl Hebner and threatens to fire him from last week while Triple H watches. Triple H stops Shane and puts him on probation, and tells him that if he screws up again, he is fired.

We see footage from earlier today where Al Snow and "The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman are leaving the nursing home. Al Snow tells Blackman he cannot go around hitting elderly people with his nunchaku, but Blackman says "She annoyed me."

WWF co-owner Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley shows up with her friend from earlier. Stephanie says she understands how hard it is for the fans to look at the WWF Superstars and their hard bodies, and says it is a lot tougher for them to look out at all of the fans. She and her friend call the fans "fat, lazy, cellulite-ridden people," and says that they make her sick. Stephanie says she represents not only all the women out there, but also all the men "and your fat kids, too." Stephanie then decides to do a public service, and introduces her friend, who happens to be her personal trainer - and now the fans' - Muffy. As this goes on, The Rock asks The Acolytes (Faarooq and Bradshaw) backstage if they are man enough to tell him whether or not Triple H bought them off, but Faarooq tells them they are man enough to not tell him anything and Bradshaw says he is just going to have to trust them.

Triple H, The Big Boss and Bull Buchanan vs. The Rock and The Acolytes (Faarooq and Bradshaw) ends in a no-contest. During the match, referee Earl Hebner shoves Triple H out of the corner as he is taking the boots to Faarooq, and WWF co-owner Shane McMahon confronts Hebner from the apron and verbally berates him. Hebner responds by pushing Shane off the apron before making it clear to Triple H that he is the referee of the match and will be calling it right down the middle. Later on in the match, X-Pac and "Road Dogg" Jesse James get involved but The Acolytes fight them and get them out of the ring, leaving The Rock and Triple H by themselves in the ring. The Rock hits the spinebuster on Triple H, but when Shane hits The Rock from behind, The Rock chases Shane to the commentary table and puts him through it to end the show.

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