Guilty As Charged 2000 - The Results

Joey Styles and Cyrus welcome everyone to tonight's show. Cyrus brings greetings from the office, and tells Styles to be on his best behavior as his headset allows him to give the office the blow by blow. He says it has been suggested that besides being the best color commentator in wrestling that he also possesses a massive intellect, and he sometimes speaks at a leavel far beyond the capacity of the "garden variety troglodytes." He has prepared, at great expense, a personal greeting in "the local vernacular." The crowd tells him "You suck dick." Cyrus reads the message, which is "Howdy, how y'all doin'?", declares himself "the voice of ECW." Suddenly, "The Quintessential Studmuffin" Joel Gertner shows up and tells him this is not Nashville, Tennessee or the office, but he knows he wants and what the office wants and that this is pay-per-view. He gets in the ring, and says he will do the same thing he always does on pay-per-view, which is introduce himself in a sexually suggestive way. Styles asks Gertner if he interrupted just for that, Gertner believes he has done all he needs to do, then remembers to do one more thing: tell Cyrus "up yours."

"The Enforcer" C.W. Anderson beats Mikey Whipwreck after Lou E. Dangerously hits Mikey with his cellphone as referee John Finegan is dealing with "Beautiful" Billy Wiles.

Simon Diamond, Danny Doring and Roadkill beat Nova, Kid Kash and Jazz. During the match, Big Dick Hertz shows up and drags Simon Diamond out of a pinfall attempt after Jazz hits him with The Jazz Stinger. Kid Kash and Jazz take the brawl with Simon Diamond and Big Dick to the back, leaving Nova to fight Danny Doring and Roadkill by himself. Later on in the match, Chris Chetti gets on the apron in Nova's corner despite not being medically cleared, and Chetti tags himself in. Referee Mike Kehner hits everyone in the match with a top rope cross body outside of the ring, then Elektra gets in the ring and slaps Chetti, who then hits her with a scoop slam. Chetti tries to hit Doring with The Amityville Horror, but his back gives out and Roadkill wins it with a top rope splash. After the match, The Dupp Brothers (Bo, Jack and Puck Dupp) get in the ring and attack Chetti and Nova. Nova eventually chases them off with a steel chair as Doring also holds a steel chair in his hands. Doring checks on Roadkill as Nova checks on Chris Chetti.

"Judge" Jeff Jones asks Spike Dudley how his girlfriend is doing, then brags about Mike Awesome beating the crap out of her. He hopes Spike is angry, and says he knows how they felt when he spoiled Mike Awesome's moment of glory when he became ECW World Heavyweight Champion again. Tonight, Spike gets his shot at greatness against Mike Awesome, who he says will kill Spike Dudley. Mike brags about about knocking Spike's girlfriend's teeth down her throat, and says he spent the last twelve of his years busting his ass to become EW World Heavyweight Champion. If Spike wants to be world champ, he'll have to take the title away from him.

We see what happened to Spike Dudley's girlfriend's teeth, and Spike says that if he has a problem, he'll have to deal with him. Paul Heyman is heard in the background, telling Spike to start the promo over, but Spike grabs a garbage can and throws it around, saying he is not acting and that he will hurt Mike Awesome.

Before the next match, Steve Corino tells the crowd that they are being disrespectful to someone who is trying to put together the greast Dream Partner Match of all time. He says there are a million guys that he could have picked, but he has picked the best choice: Super Crazy, who is supposed to be Tajiri's opponent. Corino says that honesty is what put ECW on the map and what Paul Heyman preaches as Tajiri and Super Crazy are about to go at it with each other, and so he decided to put both men together. Little Guido and Big Sal E. Graziano show up, and Little Guido confronts Corino for not picking him. Corino says he picks what the match is, and says he is quite a quandary not having a partner tonight. He says that he is the one who calls the shot around here. Suddenly, Paul Heyman shows up, and says he is the one who calls the shots around here, not Corino, and if Corino wants to mess with everyone's plans by putting Tajiri and Super Crazy together, then hat is a heck of a good idea, but Little Guido has a partner, which he will pick since Corino wants to pick Tajiri's. Little Guido's partner is revealed to be none other than Jerry Lynn.

Tajiri and Super Crazy beat Little Guido and Jerry Lynn after Little Guido turns on Jerry Lynn and hits the Maritano, Super Crazy and Tajiri argue over who pins Lynn and Tajiri kicks Super Crazy in the head with a Buzzsaw Kick. After the match, Steve Corino says that even without his help, Tajiri knows the master plan. He gives Jerry Lynn credit for fighting every night and not being a coward or a fat, old, beat-up washed-up piece of garbage like "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes. He says if Dusty was here, he would kick his ass like he did last time. Dusty shows up from out of the crowd and hits Cornio, Tommy Rich, Tajiri and Jack Victory with bionic elbows. Rhino then gets in the ring and lays out Dusty, and the numbers game quickly catches up to him. Dusty ends up getting saved by the ECW locker room as Corino runs off with Dusty's hat. The locker room then helps Dusty up, and Dusty is eventually able to get out of the ring under his own power.

New Jack says that he has been through a lot of situations in ECW. The Dudley Boyz (Buh Buh Ray and D-Von Dudley, Mustafa Saed and even Public Enemy (Johnny Grunge and "Flyboy" Rocco Rock) have never pissed him off as much as he is pissed off now. When he was thirteen years old, a former friend of his wanted to join a rival gang, and he stuck a knife in his ass. He did not even take the knife out after a week, and when he finally took it out a week later, he tore him up from one side of south central Los Angeles to the other. All that is left of Da Baldies is "Vicious" Vic Grimes, Angel, and Tony DeVito. He is getting them one at a time. He feels bad for Angel, because he is stupid. He will do anything imaginable to him, for tonight, it will be a bloodbath, and he is so mad that when he sees him in the ring, Angel might as well kiss his family goodbye because he is going to tear him up.

Angel beats New Jack.

In footage from earlier today, Bill Alfonso says he is on the top of his game as he is caught in the middle of tonight's ECW World Television Championship. Rob Van Dam says 2000 should be a good year, as his wife Sonja is getting better and there is a new season of The Sopranos, and he can be seen on a weekly basis. He plans to celebrate another year as Television champion, as he sees no serious competition. As for tonight, he will be beating Sabu and retaining the World Television title. Every night, people think tonight is the night he is going to lose the TV title and that Sabu has the best chances, but he is Rob Van Dam, the longest-reigning champion in the business as well as everyone's favorite wrestler, the most athletically gifted in the business and the whole fuckin' show. Bill Alfonso then heads to Sabu's dressing room to cut a promo for him, saying that for 33 years, Sabu has been studying wrestling and waiting for somebody as tough as him. There has been nobody, but finally, Sabu finally has found an equal in Rob Van Dam. Alfonso promises that if Sabu does not beat Rob Van Dam, he will pack his bags and walk out tonight.

Rob Van Dam retains the ECW World Television Championship against Sabu in a match that sees referee John "Pee Wee" Moore is inadvertently knocked out and Bill Alfonso fall victim to a Van Daminator when he refuses to hand Rob Van Dam a steel chair. After the match, RVD's wife Sonja is seen in the crowd, then both RVD and Sabu shake hands before Sabu flips off both RVD and a still-down Bill Alfonso.

Lance Storm says tonight is the night that The Impact Players (Justin Credible and Lance Storm) fulfill their destiny. They are faster, sronger, younger and more talented than Raven and "The Innovator of Violence" Tommy Dreamer, and the only thing they have over them is the tag team titles, which they will take. Justin says they have taken it to Raven and Dreamer for the last four months, but playtime is over and they will fulfill their destiny after insulting their families and crucifying them. He says the game is over, and they will become the ECW World Tag Team Champions.

The Impact Players (Justin Credible and Lance Storm) beat Raven and "The Innovator of Violence" Tommy Dreamer to become the ECW World Tag Team Champions. After Francine and Dawn Marie have a catfight follow a low blow to Justin Credible from Francine, Raven dives in front of Francine to keep her from being hit with a Singapore cane from Justin Credible. "The Sexiest Man Alive" Jason keeps Francine from gettin gin the ring from making the save.

Stephen Prazak interviews Steve Corino, who says that he, Jack Victory and Rhino buried the legend of "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes and treated it like "the pice of crap that it is." Rhino says Dusty is yesterday's news, while he is today's and tomorrow's. He tells Spike Dudley and Mike Awesome to shine up the ECW World Heavyweight Championship, because it is soon going to be around his waist.

Before the next match, Spike Dudley sets up multiple tables with the help of someone at the timekeeper's table, then tells Mike Awesome that while he makes a name for himself knocking people's teeth out and putting people through tables, he makes a living going through tables and and beating up "big goofy morons" like Mike Awesome. He then tells Awesome to "get [his] pussy ass down here."

Mike Awesome retains the ECW World Heavyweight Championship against Spike Dudley.