The PrinceWrestlecress Blog: The first entry ever: Raw Deal

Raw Deal

Intro

Hello, and welcome to PrinceWatercress's Wrestling Roundup!

For this maiden entry, we'll look back on the last episode of Raw before the Royal Rumble. This one was full of surprises, from a Beat The Clock challenge to some strong promos by both The Rock and CM Punk. Here's what happened:

The show starts with a tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (This episode aired on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, for any and all non-United States readers who happen upon this.)
The madness begins with Raw Managing Supervisor Vickie Guerrero heading to the ring with Paul Heyman hanging off of her arm. Heyman is not only showing respect for Vickie, but also standing in solidarity with her after how The Rock insulted them during last week's Rock Concert. They show not only Rock's insults towards Heyman on the TitanTron, but also the ones aimed towards Vickie, and neither person enjoys their replayed segment.
The Rock is here in San Jose, but he's been banned from entering the arena by Vickie Guerrero! We see The Rock on the TitanTron reasoning with the security guards as only The Rock can, telling them that nothing will stop him from entering. After he asks them to arrest CM Punk, Paul Heyman and Vickie Guerrero for comically bizarre reasons, we see that Heyman and Vickie are appalled, and Vickie takes a predictable comedic stab at The Rock.
There is a Beat The Clock Challenge tonight. Whomever wins the challenge will be able to choose their entry number at the Royal Rumble this Sunday.
Randy Orton beats Antonio Cesaro in a Beat The Clock Challenge match in 11:36 (11 minutes, 36 seconds).
If you missed The Shield's message to Randy Orton, Team Hell No and Sheamus from SmackDown last Friday, it was aired again after this match.
As Brad Maddox climbs the barricade and (briefly) guests on commentary to the chagrin of Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole, Big Show knocks out Zack Ryder in a matter of seconds, and pins him with his knee for the three counts. He then uses Zack Ryder as an example of what he's going to do to Alberto Del Rio in his World title rematch at Royal Rumble by placing his foot on Zack Ryder and counting to six before snapping at the fans for their "What?" remarks. The match between Alberto Del Rio and Big Show for the World Heavyweight Championship at Royal Rumble is another Last Man Standing match.
As Paul Heyman talks on the phone, Brad Maddox annoys him again. Paul Heyman, admires him and says he was wrong about him, and they shake hands. Is Paul Heyman and CM Punk now in cahoots with Brad Maddox after all this time?
Ryback immediately vanquishes 3MB (Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre). Sunday is Ryback's first Royal Rumble match, which means he's officially in the 30-man contest.
The Rock tries to coerce the security guards to let him in as only The Rock can. Vickie Guerrero tries to get them to arrest The Rock, but The Rock hasn't done anything to warrant an arrest. She tells them to arrest him before they get suspended (wait...what?), then Vickie tells Rock that if he apologizes for his comments last week, she'll lift the ban. The Rock tells her it ain't gonna happen, before getting at her again with his rapier wit. The Rock has an idea, and brings it to the security guards, one of which has a ticket to tonight's show...
Next Monday, Raw takes place in Las Vegas for Raw Roulette.
CM Punk enters the ring with Paul Heyman. Punk talks about how he will not allow anyone to take the WWE Championship away from him. The Rock is here to entertain...while Punk is here to hurt people. Punk chose honest arrogance, while The Rock chose...the people. Punk says The Rock will never be champion...and in six days the WWE Championship will still be around Punk's waist.
AJ and Big E screw up The Miz's figure four leg lock, and Dolph Ziggler beats the clock by 40 seconds. 10:56 is the new time to beat.
Kane and Daniel Bryan graduate from the Shelby Academy for Anger Management. They get the cap and diploma...then they argue over who is valedictorian when the valedictorian gets to express their feelings. Dr. Shelby asks if a hug would make them feel better. It then turns into everyone in the arena hugging in what is probably one of the most hilarious Team Hell No segments yet.
Kaitlyn beats Alicia Fox.
Paul Heyman has a skybox seat for CM Punk. It's for Paul Heyman's "Paul-Bomb" to The Rock...next!
Paul Heyman is in the ring. CM Punk is in the skybox as Paul serves as Punk's "interpreter" who will "keep it simple" for the WWE Universe. He talks about how Vince McMahon is desperate and has made The Rock "the flavor of the month." He goes on to call The Rock "stupid." The Rock shows up...with a ticket he got from one of the security guards. He thanks the San Jose Police Department for the ticket, and when Paul Heyman talks back, The Rock tells him to get the hell out of the ring. Heyman backs out, and The Rock looks up at the skybox - and Punk - and tells him that he may be "Best In The World," but he won't be after Royal Rumble. Like MLK, everyone will say "Free at last!" when CM Punk's championship reign comes to anend. The arena then goes dark, and The Shield attack The Rock as the lights come back on, giving him the triple power bomb before leaving. Punk tells Room there's only room for one at the top...and that The Rock just isn't great enough...
Dolph Ziggler, AJ and Big E Langston stop Sheamus from beating the clock against Wade Barrett, allowing Dolph Ziggler to pick which entry number he gets at the Royal Rumble match Sunday.
Dolph Ziggler boasts about his victory to Vickie Guerrero, but the joke's on him: according to Vickie, he can only pick between entry numbers #1 and #2.
CM Punk and Paul Heyman meet Vince McMahon. If The Shield interferes in his match against The Rock for the WWE Championship at Royal Rumble, Punk will be stripped of the title.
Alberto Del Rio beats Tensai. Del Rio tells Big Show that he'll be doing the ten count in Spanish. He leads the San Jose crowd to do just that, then Ricardo Rodriquez starts a "¡Sí!" chant.
The second Class of 2013 inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame is Bob Backlund.
John Cena comes to the ring. After interacting with a kid, a young girl and some young guy with a neckbeard while talking about Sunday, he talks about the Royal Rumble. Cena says he will win, then Sheamus shows up and makes the same claim. The Prime Time Players (Darren Young and Titus O'Neil), Randy Orton, The Miz, Team Hell No (Daniel Bryan and Kane), Antonio Cesaro and 3MB (Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, and Drew McIntyre) enter the ring doing the same, and a whole slew of other Superstars show up, culminating in a massive brawl that ends the show!