WCW Uncensored 1996 - The Results

Konnan retains the WCW United States Heavyweight Championship against Eddie Guerrero after an inadvertent low blow that Guerrero accidentally gives himself.

You can chat with WCW Superstars on Compuserve...like The Giant, who is actually at the laptop himself.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Col. Robert Parker and "Dirty" Dick Slater. Parker thanks Slater for training him for this match, which he says he's doing for Mean Gene, his great-uncle, the state of Mississippi and Elvis Presley himself. Slater says everybody's going to love Parker now, as he will make history when he beats Madusa.

The Belfast Bruiser beats "Lord" Steven Regal by disqualification after "Squire" David Taylor and "Earl" Robert Eaton attack The Belfast Bruiser. The Bruiser then goes after The Blue Bloods after the match.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Jimmy Hart and The Giant. Jimmy Hart says nobody puts their hands on him and gets away with it. The Giant says he will smoke Loch Ness like bacon on the griddle, and tells "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair he will tear him limb from limb on Nitro and that the WCW World Heavyweight Championship was once his and that it will be again.

Tonight on the WCW Hotline, there's a rumor going around that a major wrestling superstar may be retiring to go to Hollywood. "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Loch Ness, who says that Jimmy Hart brought him to the United States to get a shot at Hulk Hogan in the Doomsday Cage, but was taken out of the match by Hart through power of attorney. Now he is taking his anger out on The Gaint, and that The Giant won't get up when 700 pounds land on him. As for Jimmy Hart, he can't say what he plans to do to him on television.

Col. Robert Parker beats Madusa in a Man vs. Woman match after "Dirty" Dick Slater pulls Madusa's leg towards him during a German suplex pin on Parker.

Lee Marshall interviews The Road Warriors (Animal and Hawk), who say they want to kick everybody's butt. Animal tells Booker T and Sting they're going to find out why they're called the "Chicago Big Bullies." Hawk tells Booker T and Sting he will rip out their brain stems and force them to depend on Depends for the rest of their lives as there is no way the two of them could beat The Road Warriors in a Chicago Street Fight, where everything goes and nobody cares...especially them.

Slamboree 1996 comes to pay-per-view May 19! The Lethal Lottery will be used to settle the score!

The Booty Man beats Diamond Dallas Page to keep Kimberly, The Booty Babe and also get the rest of Kimberly's money from Page, and also force Diamond Dallas Page to quit World Championship Wrestling as per stipulation. (Had Page won, he would have kept what money he had and also gotten Kimberly back.)

"Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Jimmy Hart and Lex Luger. Hart says this is the last night he will walk Luger down the aisle, and leaves him a jacket with Luger's likeness spraypainted on it for his trophy case. Luger says he's seen the Doomsday Cage, and that the main event will be very dangerous. He says that he did not bail out on Sting, and says that he will watch his back before he enters the ring.

The Giant beats Loch Ness.

Lee Marshall interviews Sting and Booker T. Booker T says he has something to prove to The Road Warriors (Animal and Hawk), and that he's going to turn the match into a Harlem Street Fight. Sting says he wants Booker T ticked off for this match, and says that he and Booker T are going after The Road Warriors like they won't believe.

Booker T and Sting beat The Road Warriors (Animal and Hawk) after Booker T lures Animal into the back, where Jimmy Hart, Lex Luger and Stevie Ray triple-team Animal after Booker T tricks Animal into attacking Luger. Jimmy Hart takes advantage of the situation by handcuffing Animal into a post, then Stevie Ray hits Hawk in the back with a steel chair near the ring.

The Mega Powers (Hulk Hogan and "Macho Man" Randy Savage) beat The Alliance to End Hulkamania ("The Nature Boy" Ric Flair, "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson, Meng, The Barbarian, Lex Luger, The Taskmaster, Z-Gangsta and The Ultimate Solution) with assistance from The Booty Man and after Lex Luger punches "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair with a weighted glove.